I Am an Island (or at least I feel like one)

Gentle readers, maybe you can help me figure out this dilemma in which I seem to find myself. I was thinking over my life yesterday and I realized there are similarities in a number of relationships. But I don't know what the hell to do about it.

So here goes. At work, my client was laid off. Fortunately, I still have a job, but the replacement client contact is very different. Before, we would talk most every day by phone, and she took a genuine interest in my work. Now, I only get emails from the replacement, just down to business, not much personal info; or we schedule a conference call with 4 or 5 people. Bottom line, it's quite isolating. Very little feedback and I have no idea of the "person" with whom I'm dealing.

Also at the office, my co-worker and I have never been best buds, but we work well together. Except lately, we seem to disagree on everything. Not shouting matches, but disagreements all the same. She never stops by to chat over nothing, and when I try to engage her in conversation, she always seems rushed, busy or uninterested. Again, isolating.

At home, very similar. My partner's stroke has changed him, and I'm trying to adjust. He's much quieter than before, and I miss his wicked sense of humor. He mostly seems concerned with dinner, TV and going to bed. When we manage to leave the house, he has very little to say around others--he might as well not even be there. It's pretty much the same with me. We chit-chat but we don't seem to talk anymore, and when I try to engage him, he has little to say. Because of all this, I feel isolated from him and our friends.

Sure, I can make a list of things to do to "help" or improve each situation. But what of the bigger picture? Did I create all these isolating situations myself? Is there something about me that is turning people away? What is the bigger lesson here?

Or maybe it just sucks!

Now, I do have friends who I see regularly, and I feel quite connected online. But in the major relationships in my life, well, something's up. Thoughts, anyone?

I Am an Island (or at least I feel like one)

Gentle readers, maybe you can help me figure out this dilemma in which I seem to find myself. I was thinking over my life yesterday and I realized there are similarities in a number of relationships. But I don't know what the hell to do about it.

So here goes. At work, my client was laid off. Fortunately, I still have a job, but the replacement client contact is very different. Before, we would talk most every day by phone, and she took a genuine interest in my work. Now, I only get emails from the replacement, just down to business, not much personal info; or we schedule a conference call with 4 or 5 people. Bottom line, it's quite isolating. Very little feedback and I have no idea of the "person" with whom I'm dealing.

Also at the office, my co-worker and I have never been best buds, but we work well together. Except lately, we seem to disagree on everything. Not shouting matches, but disagreements all the same. She never stops by to chat over nothing, and when I try to engage her in conversation, she always seems rushed, busy or uninterested. Again, isolating.

At home, very similar. My partner's stroke has changed him, and I'm trying to adjust. He's much quieter than before, and I miss his wicked sense of humor. He mostly seems concerned with dinner, TV and going to bed. When we manage to leave the house, he has very little to say around others--he might as well not even be there. It's pretty much the same with me. We chit-chat but we don't seem to talk anymore, and when I try to engage him, he has little to say. Because of all this, I feel isolated from him and our friends.

Sure, I can make a list of things to do to "help" or improve each situation. But what of the bigger picture? Did I create all these isolating situations myself? Is there something about me that is turning people away? What is the bigger lesson here?

Or maybe it just sucks!

Now, I do have friends who I see regularly, and I feel quite connected online. But in the major relationships in my life, well, something's up. Thoughts, anyone?

My Own Little "Burning Man" and Happy Belated Alban Elfed (autumn equinox)!

"This is the fulfilled promise of the days of Spring and Summer. This is the Reckoning of the Year...," an excerpt of a Alban Elfed poem from Druidry.org.

Finally found time to welcome autumn over the weekend, once again keeping to my own backyard in the sacred circle area I've created.

I brought some traditional offerings of the season: a gourd/pumpkin, scuppernong grapes, leaves and oak seed pods, some green holly berries as well as tobacco. A bowl of water served as a reminder of our emotions, often linked to this time of the year (photo at bottom).

Burning Man Comes to Brandtlund Grove!
The really dramatic part was making my own little wicker man or John Barleycorn. The tradition goes that the Druids made wicker men figures to burn at the equinox, to symbolize the death of the growing season. I bought some raffia and surprised myself by creating a passable wicker man (sorry, forgot to get a pic!). So at the end I tossed him in a bucket, added some citronella oil for good measure and *poof*--the spirits were delighted with a wonderfully flammable display! Then I scattered his ashes around the circle.

For some of my sources for the ritual, click here.

Finally, to meditate on the coming of autumn, I thought about the seeds and dreams I've planted this year and what has borne fruit. Since I don't live an agriculturally based lifestyle, that means being thankful for more freelance writing as well as going deeper into my spiritual path with workshops, rituals and spirit journeys--bringing it to life as opposed to just thinking and reading.

I also reflected on what has passed away or changed this year, in anticipation of the fading light as winter approaches. First, I thought of my kitty Tess and her passing back in May as well as my final break with Christianity. Also, all the still-overwhelming changes in my relationship with my partner. Surprisingly, he took part in the ritual for the first time! Not sure where that will go, but it made everything particularly memorable.


Rituals like this one help me remember to look around and see the changes occurring every day. It helps me see how far I've come, where I want to go and what I've lost or found.

My Own Little "Burning Man" and Happy Belated Alban Elfed (autumn equinox)!

"This is the fulfilled promise of the days of Spring and Summer. This is the Reckoning of the Year...," an excerpt of a Alban Elfed poem from Druidry.org.

Finally found time to welcome autumn over the weekend, once again keeping to my own backyard in the sacred circle area I've created.

I brought some traditional offerings of the season: a gourd/pumpkin, scuppernong grapes, leaves and oak seed pods, some green holly berries as well as tobacco. A bowl of water served as a reminder of our emotions, often linked to this time of the year (photo at bottom).

Burning Man Comes to Brandtlund Grove!
The really dramatic part was making my own little wicker man or John Barleycorn. The tradition goes that the Druids made wicker men figures to burn at the equinox, to symbolize the death of the growing season. I bought some raffia and surprised myself by creating a passable wicker man (sorry, forgot to get a pic!). So at the end I tossed him in a bucket, added some citronella oil for good measure and *poof*--the spirits were delighted with a wonderfully flammable display! Then I scattered his ashes around the circle.

For some of my sources for the ritual, click here.

Finally, to meditate on the coming of autumn, I thought about the seeds and dreams I've planted this year and what has borne fruit. Since I don't live an agriculturally based lifestyle, that means being thankful for more freelance writing as well as going deeper into my spiritual path with workshops, rituals and spirit journeys--bringing it to life as opposed to just thinking and reading.

I also reflected on what has passed away or changed this year, in anticipation of the fading light as winter approaches. First, I thought of my kitty Tess and her passing back in May as well as my final break with Christianity. Also, all the still-overwhelming changes in my relationship with my partner. Surprisingly, he took part in the ritual for the first time! Not sure where that will go, but it made everything particularly memorable.


Rituals like this one help me remember to look around and see the changes occurring every day. It helps me see how far I've come, where I want to go and what I've lost or found.

More Insight Into Possible U.S. Role in Bolivian Crisis

At left is Bolivian president Evo Morales, receiving a Pre-Incan ceremonial blessing from indigenous wise men upon his election in 2006.

A bit more info on my post from last week on the unrest in Bolivia. You may wonder why I'm even interested in a small, poor South American country. Well, the history of the U.S. government's influence in this hemisphere isn't a good one. And it's our tax dollars that make all that possible. Think about that for a minute. Whether you agree with the tactics or not, "we the people" are responsible for the actions of our government. We claim to be a democracy, so therefore, the responsibility ultimately lies with every single one of us.

So, today's NY Times included a nugget of additional info, saying that Bolivian prez Evo Morales expelled our ambassador in part because he was suspicious that we might be encouraging his opponents. Specifically, this has to do with a U.S. agency called the Office of Transition Initiatives.

According to the Times, the U.S. ended the agency's operations there in 2007, which included "dispensing grants aimed at strengthening departmental [regional] governments, which have taken the lead in opposing Mr. Morales."

Hmm, so, we were giving money to local leaders in Bolivia who just happened to be opposed to Morales. These groups are of white European descent, while Morales in of indigenous origin. And these leaders were mostly once in power--and now they're not. Doesn't look at all suspicious!

Imagine if say, Iran's president were providing "grants" to secessionist groups in the U.S. Imagine how that might look to us.

Of course, our government denies anything improper. To see what the Office of Transition Initiatives officially does, here's a link to the official site.

For a completely different perspective on the agency's work, check out this site from a group in Canada.

It appears the next step is the U.S. will cut some of the $100 million a year that it gives Bolivia in aid and we may slap duties on Bolivian imports like textiles. And maybe that's all fair in love and war. But seriously, this is Bolivia--are they a threat to our national security?

Oh right--the drug/cocaine thing. Drugs are bad, I forget. Well, seeing as plenty of Americans are creating the demand for cocaine, I think we need more attention of our end of the problem instead of spazzing out over what Bolivia is doing.

We have much bigger concerns right now.

And I hope Bolivia can hold it together.

More Insight Into Possible U.S. Role in Bolivian Crisis

At left is Bolivian president Evo Morales, receiving a Pre-Incan ceremonial blessing from indigenous wise men upon his election in 2006.

A bit more info on my post from last week on the unrest in Bolivia. You may wonder why I'm even interested in a small, poor South American country. Well, the history of the U.S. government's influence in this hemisphere isn't a good one. And it's our tax dollars that make all that possible. Think about that for a minute. Whether you agree with the tactics or not, "we the people" are responsible for the actions of our government. We claim to be a democracy, so therefore, the responsibility ultimately lies with every single one of us.

So, today's NY Times included a nugget of additional info, saying that Bolivian prez Evo Morales expelled our ambassador in part because he was suspicious that we might be encouraging his opponents. Specifically, this has to do with a U.S. agency called the Office of Transition Initiatives.

According to the Times, the U.S. ended the agency's operations there in 2007, which included "dispensing grants aimed at strengthening departmental [regional] governments, which have taken the lead in opposing Mr. Morales."

Hmm, so, we were giving money to local leaders in Bolivia who just happened to be opposed to Morales. These groups are of white European descent, while Morales in of indigenous origin. And these leaders were mostly once in power--and now they're not. Doesn't look at all suspicious!

Imagine if say, Iran's president were providing "grants" to secessionist groups in the U.S. Imagine how that might look to us.

Of course, our government denies anything improper. To see what the Office of Transition Initiatives officially does, here's a link to the official site.

For a completely different perspective on the agency's work, check out this site from a group in Canada.

It appears the next step is the U.S. will cut some of the $100 million a year that it gives Bolivia in aid and we may slap duties on Bolivian imports like textiles. And maybe that's all fair in love and war. But seriously, this is Bolivia--are they a threat to our national security?

Oh right--the drug/cocaine thing. Drugs are bad, I forget. Well, seeing as plenty of Americans are creating the demand for cocaine, I think we need more attention of our end of the problem instead of spazzing out over what Bolivia is doing.

We have much bigger concerns right now.

And I hope Bolivia can hold it together.

Another Mountaintop Shamanic Experience!

"I am a student of our universe, and I serve to chronicle its wonders."

At my most recent shamanic workshop, this statement came to me during one of our activities, and it truly distills who I have always been and who I aspire to be. Sort of my own little mission statement.

The photo above was taken at another local state park where we held a sacred circle, communed with the elements, blew our conch horns (oh, what fun!) among other shaman stuff. The weather was beautiful and so was the energy and the people.

I'll post more later on some of my observations and insights, but that's all for now. Trying to catch up on routine things after a very busy week.

Thanks for visiting and come back soon, now, ya hear?

Another Mountaintop Shamanic Experience!

"I am a student of our universe, and I serve to chronicle its wonders."

At my most recent shamanic workshop, this statement came to me during one of our activities, and it truly distills who I have always been and who I aspire to be. Sort of my own little mission statement.

The photo above was taken at another local state park where we held a sacred circle, communed with the elements, blew our conch horns (oh, what fun!) among other shaman stuff. The weather was beautiful and so was the energy and the people.

I'll post more later on some of my observations and insights, but that's all for now. Trying to catch up on routine things after a very busy week.

Thanks for visiting and come back soon, now, ya hear?

Pagan/Gay Rights Pioneer John Burnside Has Moved On

Here's news of the passing of John Lyon Burnside, gay rights activist and co-founder of the radical faeries, from over at The Wild Hunt.

Wow, he was in his 90s and has had such an impact on the GLBT and pagan communities. For me, his legacy is one of joy and play in life, of embracing your otherness as celebrating it, whatever it may be.

I love this crazy picture of Burnside--what a character. We should all be so unafraid.

Thank you, John, for helping me recover my own spirit. I hope that I can carry on that legacy.

Pagan/Gay Rights Pioneer John Burnside Has Moved On

Here's news of the passing of John Lyon Burnside, gay rights activist and co-founder of the radical faeries, from over at The Wild Hunt.

Wow, he was in his 90s and has had such an impact on the GLBT and pagan communities. For me, his legacy is one of joy and play in life, of embracing your otherness as celebrating it, whatever it may be.

I love this crazy picture of Burnside--what a character. We should all be so unafraid.

Thank you, John, for helping me recover my own spirit. I hope that I can carry on that legacy.

A Call to Fellow Pagans and Heathens: Focus Your Power to Defeat the Christians!

Ok, this is a little tongue in cheek, to be honest. So, Christians in California are rallying the faithful to pray and fast in order to defeat gay marriage in the state.

I'm not one to believe in the power of prayer and a number of other things. And yet, that got me to thinking. Those of us who fall into the pagan, heathen, shaman and Wicca side of things should rally our own faithful for a little counterattack! I know there are some of you out there who possess a bit more faith in your own gods and goddesses and in your abilities to influence matters of this world.

I'm also assuming that most of you are more accepting of gay marriage than the majority of Christians are. If not, you are banished!

So, get to it! Direct your energy to California, get out your shaman tools, your wands and spell books and cast away, drum away!

If nothing else, maybe we can scare the Christians into staying home if they know the force of the nation's pagans are against them. Don't you just know they'll start shaking out of fear of what we might do! If they really understood us, they probably wouldn't be afraid at all but they're not ones to lay down superstitions (*wink, wink*).

Nothing like a good, old-fashioned spiritual battle to get your blood boiling! Me, I'll be blowing my new conch horn to call forth the spirits!

A Call to Fellow Pagans and Heathens: Focus Your Power to Defeat the Christians!

Ok, this is a little tongue in cheek, to be honest. So, Christians in California are rallying the faithful to pray and fast in order to defeat gay marriage in the state.

I'm not one to believe in the power of prayer and a number of other things. And yet, that got me to thinking. Those of us who fall into the pagan, heathen, shaman and Wicca side of things should rally our own faithful for a little counterattack! I know there are some of you out there who possess a bit more faith in your own gods and goddesses and in your abilities to influence matters of this world.

I'm also assuming that most of you are more accepting of gay marriage than the majority of Christians are. If not, you are banished!

So, get to it! Direct your energy to California, get out your shaman tools, your wands and spell books and cast away, drum away!

If nothing else, maybe we can scare the Christians into staying home if they know the force of the nation's pagans are against them. Don't you just know they'll start shaking out of fear of what we might do! If they really understood us, they probably wouldn't be afraid at all but they're not ones to lay down superstitions (*wink, wink*).

Nothing like a good, old-fashioned spiritual battle to get your blood boiling! Me, I'll be blowing my new conch horn to call forth the spirits!

Magoo Heads for Cover in Washington

I know everyone's probably posting on this, so I have to throw in my 2 cents worth.

Magoo's announcement that he is suspending his campaign and wishes to postpone his debate with Obama is a total gimmick! What better stage to show what he would do to help our economy than a presidential debate? Unless, of course, he has no plans and he would prefer to retreat to Washington where he can run around appearing to do something without really anyone being able to tell otherwise.

If Magoo postpones Friday's debate, will we ever get one? If we don't, then all we have all biased commercials (from both sides) and carefully controlled photo-op "town halls." In other words, the voters get screwed--again.

I completely agree with Obama's statement: Presidents have to do more than 1 thing at a time. Can't Magoo multitask?

Besides, what is McCain really going to do? Is he on some crucial economic/banking senate committee? Will he hold a deciding vote? Isn't everyone of any consequence already busy working on our economic crisis?

I want a debate, dammit!

Magoo Heads for Cover in Washington

I know everyone's probably posting on this, so I have to throw in my 2 cents worth.

Magoo's announcement that he is suspending his campaign and wishes to postpone his debate with Obama is a total gimmick! What better stage to show what he would do to help our economy than a presidential debate? Unless, of course, he has no plans and he would prefer to retreat to Washington where he can run around appearing to do something without really anyone being able to tell otherwise.

If Magoo postpones Friday's debate, will we ever get one? If we don't, then all we have all biased commercials (from both sides) and carefully controlled photo-op "town halls." In other words, the voters get screwed--again.

I completely agree with Obama's statement: Presidents have to do more than 1 thing at a time. Can't Magoo multitask?

Besides, what is McCain really going to do? Is he on some crucial economic/banking senate committee? Will he hold a deciding vote? Isn't everyone of any consequence already busy working on our economic crisis?

I want a debate, dammit!

Clay Aiken Confirms What Everyone Already Knew

Yep, he's a big ol' queer! Well, finally, he's being honest and coming out on the cover of "People" magazine (which is apparently the way to do it now. First, Ellen DeGerenes, now Clay and I'm sure there have been others).

Seems Clay's son inspired him to confirm what everyone has suspected for years. "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things," he told People.

And that's the way it should be. Coming out isn't about getting attention, it's about honesty and integrity and your own sanity. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I think Clay will be a much happier person.

And I need to collect on a winning bet!!

Clay Aiken Confirms What Everyone Already Knew

Yep, he's a big ol' queer! Well, finally, he's being honest and coming out on the cover of "People" magazine (which is apparently the way to do it now. First, Ellen DeGerenes, now Clay and I'm sure there have been others).

Seems Clay's son inspired him to confirm what everyone has suspected for years. "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things," he told People.

And that's the way it should be. Coming out isn't about getting attention, it's about honesty and integrity and your own sanity. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I think Clay will be a much happier person.

And I need to collect on a winning bet!!

Rag Dolls and Colonoscopies (how do these words go together?)

My partner has always had a great sense of humor and wit, and it's nice to see him recovering that more and more since his stroke last year.

So, tomorrow he goes for a routine colonoscopy since he is of that age (men, if you're 50 or older, talk to your doctors--colon cancer is preventable!). Tonight he's drinking the "colon cocktail" that gets you clean as a whistle as preparation for the procedure. He also hasn't eaten any solid food all day, so he's a tad famished.

He's so hungry that he let fly this little gem that still has me laughing:

"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass out of a rag doll!"

Rag Dolls and Colonoscopies (how do these words go together?)

My partner has always had a great sense of humor and wit, and it's nice to see him recovering that more and more since his stroke last year.

So, tomorrow he goes for a routine colonoscopy since he is of that age (men, if you're 50 or older, talk to your doctors--colon cancer is preventable!). Tonight he's drinking the "colon cocktail" that gets you clean as a whistle as preparation for the procedure. He also hasn't eaten any solid food all day, so he's a tad famished.

He's so hungry that he let fly this little gem that still has me laughing:

"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass out of a rag doll!"

Daily Distraction: Billy Currington

Heard one of Billy Currington's songs this morning, so he's on my mind. Yeah, not a bad way to start the day, right?

Wait, who the hell is he, you ask? Doesn't have a high profile yet, but he's one my favorite Country singers. And with a bod like that, I doubt he'll remain a secret for much longer.

Daily Distraction: Billy Currington

Heard one of Billy Currington's songs this morning, so he's on my mind. Yeah, not a bad way to start the day, right?

Wait, who the hell is he, you ask? Doesn't have a high profile yet, but he's one my favorite Country singers. And with a bod like that, I doubt he'll remain a secret for much longer.

What Every Well-Dressed Shaman Is Wearing!

No, this isn't me--but I do kinda like his nose and nipple accoutrements. Fancy.

But I will be back up in the woods drumming like some crazy hippie this weekend. I have another shamanic workshop both Saturday and Sunday.

We're going to focus on the navel chakra this go-round (hmm, sexual energy--could get interesting), have a shamanic "baptism," create some power tools (NOT the Black & Decker kind!) and, oh yeah, drumming on the mountain again. Different mountain this time, however.

So if the Earth suddenly flies off its axis, it may be my fault.

Otherwise, I won't be posting much until next week. Have a blessed, relaxed and fun weekend.

What Every Well-Dressed Shaman Is Wearing!

No, this isn't me--but I do kinda like his nose and nipple accoutrements. Fancy.

But I will be back up in the woods drumming like some crazy hippie this weekend. I have another shamanic workshop both Saturday and Sunday.

We're going to focus on the navel chakra this go-round (hmm, sexual energy--could get interesting), have a shamanic "baptism," create some power tools (NOT the Black & Decker kind!) and, oh yeah, drumming on the mountain again. Different mountain this time, however.

So if the Earth suddenly flies off its axis, it may be my fault.

Otherwise, I won't be posting much until next week. Have a blessed, relaxed and fun weekend.

Being the First Dude Has Its Privileges

Ah, it must be good to be governor--or a vice presidential candidate--or hell, even a vice presidential candidate's hunky husband. (Mmmm, Todd Palin alone on a cold night in an igloo....)

Anyway, looks like Scrappy Doo's hubby is refusing to cooperate with the investigation into whether "Trooper Gate" has any merit. Both he and his wife are now claiming the investigation is bogus. How convenient, you know, now that there's a big election going on.

Damn, I was hoping this would provide a little gossip grease to rub all over my naked body from now until November--does wonders for dry skin!

Being the First Dude Has Its Privileges

Ah, it must be good to be governor--or a vice presidential candidate--or hell, even a vice presidential candidate's hunky husband. (Mmmm, Todd Palin alone on a cold night in an igloo....)

Anyway, looks like Scrappy Doo's hubby is refusing to cooperate with the investigation into whether "Trooper Gate" has any merit. Both he and his wife are now claiming the investigation is bogus. How convenient, you know, now that there's a big election going on.

Damn, I was hoping this would provide a little gossip grease to rub all over my naked body from now until November--does wonders for dry skin!

Rumble in South America: What Is the U.S. Up to Now?

I'm tired of our presidential popularity contest. I'm much more interested in the craziness going on down in South America. We're talking expelled diplomats, violent protests, accusations of U.S. interference, martial law, strikes and arrests of government officials. And from this distance, it appears most of Bolivia's neighbors support president Evo Morales, much to the chagrin of the U.S.

Seems it's always about oil or gas, which is the case in Bolivia, the poorest country in South America. Morales is, to some, a crazy left-wing commie who pals around with equally crazy Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. The opposition claims Morales wants to turn Bolivia into---another Cuba! Maybe that's an insult, but when you're already the poorest country in the neighborhood, I'm sure everybody's grass is greener.

The nugget is Morales expelled our ambassador, claiming the U.S. has been supporting the opposition. Of course, we are shocked--shocked!--at such allegations. Maybe we're innocent, but there have been plenty of times in the past when we have "supported" movements without actually lifting a finger. Morales certainly has reason to be paranoid since us Yankees don't like anyone who tries to centralize gas and oil industries and, oh, empower the majority indigenous population that has been disenfranchised for centuries.

As further insult to our delicate sensibilities, Chavez kicked our ambassador out of his own country. He's been claiming for months that the U.S. was encouraging the protests in Bolivia. Now, add Ecuador and Honduras to the list of Morales supporters! Naturally, Cuba's joined the party, too.

Call me crazy, but I kinda like Morales and Chavez. They're standing up to our self-righteousness and arrogance. Other South American countries have rallied to end the violence, and Morales has started negotiations with the opposition. For way too long, the U.S. has run the show throughout this hemisphere, and I think our "good intentions" have created many of the struggles faced by that entire region today. Maybe there's nothing to the rumors, but it's clear South America doesn't trust us.

Lots of complicated issues involved, of course, and I will be interested to see how this plays out.

Here are a few interesting links:

• Take your Yankee toys and go home!
• They started it!
• Supporting the local boy
• Emergency summit in Chile
• Negotiations begin
  

Rumble in South America: What Is the U.S. Up to Now?

I'm tired of our presidential popularity contest. I'm much more interested in the craziness going on down in South America. We're talking expelled diplomats, violent protests, accusations of U.S. interference, martial law, strikes and arrests of government officials. And from this distance, it appears most of Bolivia's neighbors support president Evo Morales, much to the chagrin of the U.S.

Seems it's always about oil or gas, which is the case in Bolivia, the poorest country in South America. Morales is, to some, a crazy left-wing commie who pals around with equally crazy Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. The opposition claims Morales wants to turn Bolivia into---another Cuba! Maybe that's an insult, but when you're already the poorest country in the neighborhood, I'm sure everybody's grass is greener.

The nugget is Morales expelled our ambassador, claiming the U.S. has been supporting the opposition. Of course, we are shocked--shocked!--at such allegations. Maybe we're innocent, but there have been plenty of times in the past when we have "supported" movements without actually lifting a finger. Morales certainly has reason to be paranoid since us Yankees don't like anyone who tries to centralize gas and oil industries and, oh, empower the majority indigenous population that has been disenfranchised for centuries.

As further insult to our delicate sensibilities, Chavez kicked our ambassador out of his own country. He's been claiming for months that the U.S. was encouraging the protests in Bolivia. Now, add Ecuador and Honduras to the list of Morales supporters! Naturally, Cuba's joined the party, too.

Call me crazy, but I kinda like Morales and Chavez. They're standing up to our self-righteousness and arrogance. Other South American countries have rallied to end the violence, and Morales has started negotiations with the opposition. For way too long, the U.S. has run the show throughout this hemisphere, and I think our "good intentions" have created many of the struggles faced by that entire region today. Maybe there's nothing to the rumors, but it's clear South America doesn't trust us.

Lots of complicated issues involved, of course, and I will be interested to see how this plays out.

Here are a few interesting links:

• Take your Yankee toys and go home!
• They started it!
• Supporting the local boy
• Emergency summit in Chile
• Negotiations begin
  

Power, Chaos and Change

Feelin' pretty impotent at the moment. "Impotent" too loaded a term? Ok, how about powerless.

My sister is a single mom raising 2 kids and struggles to make ends meet. I help her out now and then, but it's never enough.

A friend of mine has a brain tumor--make that several brain tumors. Chemo's not working. Steriods have packed on serious pounds. The docs are now recommending a stronger (ie--more toxic?) treatment regimen. There's little I can do but watch.

Another friend lost her job recently. She's looking and looking, but nothing. This is a woman who inspired me to get back on track with some ambitions and dreams of my own, and now she can't get work. Oh, and her husband lost his job, too! My friend and I talk every couple of days, but what can I do--really?

My father was just in the hospital for a minor thing and he's home now. Dad is 82 and actually in decent health. But I worry about him. He still tries to work and really shouldn't (too many details to go into). He lives about an hour away, so I don't see him as often as I'd like. He also is having trouble in his marriage and is very lonely. What can I do?

Ah, the chaos of life. Theoretically, we're supposed to embrace it and ride the wave, right? I know that when we try to stop change or unravel the chaos is when we lose. And I'm a control freak--so yeah, chaos is not how I roll.

Anxiety, guilt, worry--all illusions, right? When you think about it, who among us really has power? If that's the case, then no one is really "powerless." Power is an illusion.

Yet, how do I help when I can and not let the emotions overtake me?

Power, Chaos and Change

Feelin' pretty impotent at the moment. "Impotent" too loaded a term? Ok, how about powerless.

My sister is a single mom raising 2 kids and struggles to make ends meet. I help her out now and then, but it's never enough.

A friend of mine has a brain tumor--make that several brain tumors. Chemo's not working. Steriods have packed on serious pounds. The docs are now recommending a stronger (ie--more toxic?) treatment regimen. There's little I can do but watch.

Another friend lost her job recently. She's looking and looking, but nothing. This is a woman who inspired me to get back on track with some ambitions and dreams of my own, and now she can't get work. Oh, and her husband lost his job, too! My friend and I talk every couple of days, but what can I do--really?

My father was just in the hospital for a minor thing and he's home now. Dad is 82 and actually in decent health. But I worry about him. He still tries to work and really shouldn't (too many details to go into). He lives about an hour away, so I don't see him as often as I'd like. He also is having trouble in his marriage and is very lonely. What can I do?

Ah, the chaos of life. Theoretically, we're supposed to embrace it and ride the wave, right? I know that when we try to stop change or unravel the chaos is when we lose. And I'm a control freak--so yeah, chaos is not how I roll.

Anxiety, guilt, worry--all illusions, right? When you think about it, who among us really has power? If that's the case, then no one is really "powerless." Power is an illusion.

Yet, how do I help when I can and not let the emotions overtake me?

Spooky Skull of Death or Merely the Spirit of the Earth?

Been a busy few days but I'm back!

So with the fall season approaching, which means Halloween (my favorite!), I thought I'd post on this spooky "skull" formation I photographed in the Grove several weeks ago.


Animal burrows form the 2 "eyes" at the top and a smaller "mouth." The roots form a "nose" shape. Isn't it weird how these burrows were placed just so? Also, this is actually a mound, not set in the ground. It's as if a giant face pressed into the earth from below! They way the ground falls away and the way the moss grows gives it a vaguely skull-like shape: wider and rounded at the top with a smaller "jaw" area at the bottom.

This really freaked me out when I first saw it. "Is it a sign? A warning?" Then I realized, it only looks like a skull if you come at it from a very specific direction. Otherwise, it's just holes in the ground.

So rather than be spooked, I did some reading on skulls. Obviously, there's the popular symbolism of death and evil. But other traditions see skulls as representations of stripping away the ego until all that's left is the pure spirit, which is neither good nor evil but divine or true. Sort of like being stripped to your true nature. I like that.


This formation is located in the Circle, which I've posted about before. Interestingly, that one upright stone that is located mere yards away also symbolizes spirit, I discovered. The Hawaiian tradition stresses that spirit has no form, but when representing spirit, you'll often see single upright stones--just like this one (at right)!

Yep, this little spot in the Grove has some serious power!

Spooky Skull of Death or Merely the Spirit of the Earth?

Been a busy few days but I'm back!

So with the fall season approaching, which means Halloween (my favorite!), I thought I'd post on this spooky "skull" formation I photographed in the Grove several weeks ago.


Animal burrows form the 2 "eyes" at the top and a smaller "mouth." The roots form a "nose" shape. Isn't it weird how these burrows were placed just so? Also, this is actually a mound, not set in the ground. It's as if a giant face pressed into the earth from below! They way the ground falls away and the way the moss grows gives it a vaguely skull-like shape: wider and rounded at the top with a smaller "jaw" area at the bottom.

This really freaked me out when I first saw it. "Is it a sign? A warning?" Then I realized, it only looks like a skull if you come at it from a very specific direction. Otherwise, it's just holes in the ground.

So rather than be spooked, I did some reading on skulls. Obviously, there's the popular symbolism of death and evil. But other traditions see skulls as representations of stripping away the ego until all that's left is the pure spirit, which is neither good nor evil but divine or true. Sort of like being stripped to your true nature. I like that.


This formation is located in the Circle, which I've posted about before. Interestingly, that one upright stone that is located mere yards away also symbolizes spirit, I discovered. The Hawaiian tradition stresses that spirit has no form, but when representing spirit, you'll often see single upright stones--just like this one (at right)!

Yep, this little spot in the Grove has some serious power!

Not Enough Hours in the Day

If my posting's a bit slow lately, please forgive. I do have lots to say but little time in which to say it! And if I haven't visited your blog lately, I promise to return soon.

Work is crazy--one deadline approaching and I just landed a new assignment.

Then there's relationship drama--nothing really new, I guess, but the couples' counseling is going, well, ok. Progress isn't as fast as I'd like. And some days ... well, I'm just not sure I have the willpower to be patient. I feel really tired, emotionally, right now. Anyway, it's all very draining.

Until later, peace & blessings to all my visitors.

Not Enough Hours in the Day

If my posting's a bit slow lately, please forgive. I do have lots to say but little time in which to say it! And if I haven't visited your blog lately, I promise to return soon.

Work is crazy--one deadline approaching and I just landed a new assignment.

Then there's relationship drama--nothing really new, I guess, but the couples' counseling is going, well, ok. Progress isn't as fast as I'd like. And some days ... well, I'm just not sure I have the willpower to be patient. I feel really tired, emotionally, right now. Anyway, it's all very draining.

Until later, peace & blessings to all my visitors.

Daily Distraction: I have a crush on DNC Chair Howard Dean!

It's the love that dare not speak its name! Sure, call me crazy, but seeing Howard Dean's face on the news last night actually lifted me slightly out of my enduring melancholy. Seriously, I think he's good-looking, handsome, sexy--a silver fox!

Earlier this year, Dean was touring certain critical states to help get out the vote, and I caught him when his bus stopped in my hometown (here are 2 photos I took). He's shorter than I imagined, slimmer--and kinda hot!

Daily Distraction: I have a crush on DNC Chair Howard Dean!

It's the love that dare not speak its name! Sure, call me crazy, but seeing Howard Dean's face on the news last night actually lifted me slightly out of my enduring melancholy. Seriously, I think he's good-looking, handsome, sexy--a silver fox!

Earlier this year, Dean was touring certain critical states to help get out the vote, and I caught him when his bus stopped in my hometown (here are 2 photos I took). He's shorter than I imagined, slimmer--and kinda hot!

Humdrum Hump Day

Today, dear readers, I am mired in some serious melancholy.

Is it the drone of the presidential campaign? Is it just me or does Obama totally put you to sleep now? It seems he has moved so far to the center and become so calculating (as I feared and predicted!), that anything he says makes me squirm. Maybe Palin will start firing her moose rifle and spark some more drama.

There seems to be bad news all around--people losing their jobs while the U.S. spends billions every day (is that right? Couldn't find an exact link). And my own financial situation, while not dire, isn't anything to get excited over.

My main job, while a good one, has become boring and isolating. I really want to quit, like right now, but need the income. And the plan of saving some extra cash to enable me to leave this job isn't working like I'd hoped.

Couples counseling is going well, I suppose. But there's still a lot that needs to change between me and my partner. It's never going to be like it was, and I'm not confident that I have the patience to hang on and see if there's anything worth salvaging.

Spiritually, I'm in a good place, but I'm overwhelmed at the same time. I've spent so much time trying to follow everyone else's rules and beliefs, and I feel that I've stifled myself. Now that I'm moving beyond all that, I just want to run like crazy, throw caution to the wind and see where I end up. There's so much that I need to unlearn, if you will, and at times it seems to be a lengthy, even tedious, process.

Big things, little things--and I don't even know if any of this makes sense to those of you kind enough to read it. Physically, emotionally, I am tired and worn out.

Sure, I need to stay positive and keep that energy up. My shamanic instruction would say, "if you don't like your reality, change it!" While I know that to be possible and true, well, something's getting in the way, and that thing is a great big messy ball of melancholy.

Humdrum Hump Day

Today, dear readers, I am mired in some serious melancholy.

Is it the drone of the presidential campaign? Is it just me or does Obama totally put you to sleep now? It seems he has moved so far to the center and become so calculating (as I feared and predicted!), that anything he says makes me squirm. Maybe Palin will start firing her moose rifle and spark some more drama.

There seems to be bad news all around--people losing their jobs while the U.S. spends billions every day (is that right? Couldn't find an exact link). And my own financial situation, while not dire, isn't anything to get excited over.

My main job, while a good one, has become boring and isolating. I really want to quit, like right now, but need the income. And the plan of saving some extra cash to enable me to leave this job isn't working like I'd hoped.

Couples counseling is going well, I suppose. But there's still a lot that needs to change between me and my partner. It's never going to be like it was, and I'm not confident that I have the patience to hang on and see if there's anything worth salvaging.

Spiritually, I'm in a good place, but I'm overwhelmed at the same time. I've spent so much time trying to follow everyone else's rules and beliefs, and I feel that I've stifled myself. Now that I'm moving beyond all that, I just want to run like crazy, throw caution to the wind and see where I end up. There's so much that I need to unlearn, if you will, and at times it seems to be a lengthy, even tedious, process.

Big things, little things--and I don't even know if any of this makes sense to those of you kind enough to read it. Physically, emotionally, I am tired and worn out.

Sure, I need to stay positive and keep that energy up. My shamanic instruction would say, "if you don't like your reality, change it!" While I know that to be possible and true, well, something's getting in the way, and that thing is a great big messy ball of melancholy.

Mr. Magoo & Scrappy Doo! (or John McCain Selects His Vice President)

Now that Magoo (John McCain) has picked his running mate, don't you think she (Sarah Palin) needs a nickname, too? I am fair and balanced, ya'll. Who better to represent the small-town, fearless pluck that is embodied by Sarah Palin than the love-him or hate-him---Scrappy Doo!

If you're a child of the 70s, you may have fond memories, like me, of Scooby Doo's boisterous nephew Scrappy. Or maybe you hated his calls of "Puppy Power!" Nothing against Scrappy necessarily, but I think this character does personify aspects of Palin's personality. Take from that what you will.

And as a editor, I do appreciate the alliteration when you combine these 2 together!

Mr. Magoo & Scrappy Doo! (or John McCain Selects His Vice President)

Now that Magoo (John McCain) has picked his running mate, don't you think she (Sarah Palin) needs a nickname, too? I am fair and balanced, ya'll. Who better to represent the small-town, fearless pluck that is embodied by Sarah Palin than the love-him or hate-him---Scrappy Doo!

If you're a child of the 70s, you may have fond memories, like me, of Scooby Doo's boisterous nephew Scrappy. Or maybe you hated his calls of "Puppy Power!" Nothing against Scrappy necessarily, but I think this character does personify aspects of Palin's personality. Take from that what you will.

And as a editor, I do appreciate the alliteration when you combine these 2 together!

Chris Brown: "Forever"

I'm diggin' Chris Brown's new "Forever" song--course, it is a bit inescapable at the moment, what with the Wrigley Doublemint chewing gum tie-in.

Does that mean he sold out? "Forever" is pretty much a frothy dance single anyway, so I don't think it matters much. Besides, I can't help myself. Whenever I hear it, I wanna say, "Stand back, bitches! I'm here to dance!"

Chris Brown: "Forever"

I'm diggin' Chris Brown's new "Forever" song--course, it is a bit inescapable at the moment, what with the Wrigley Doublemint chewing gum tie-in.

Does that mean he sold out? "Forever" is pretty much a frothy dance single anyway, so I don't think it matters much. Besides, I can't help myself. Whenever I hear it, I wanna say, "Stand back, bitches! I'm here to dance!"

My Shamanic Weekend--a healthy dose of skepticism, plus likes and dislikes

This'll be the last post about the shamanic workshop 2 weeks ago, but I wanted to share a few dislikes and doubts as well as stuff I thought was cool. A few remaining pics from the state park, too.

If you click on this photo, you may be able to see the rainbow in the sky between the trees!

Discomfort and Dislikes
Naturally, when you sign up for something like shamanism, you gotta expect the weird and unusual--especially when it comes to fellow participants. There was this one guy, "Ben," who was actually friendly and outgoing, but I also began to question his sanity. Wait, I know what you're thinking--maybe I should question my own sanity since I'm the one calling myself a shaman!

Ben was just a bit too excited for me. And he kept asking me direct questions about my wolf spirit totem. He even claimed he could "see" the wolf himself. Ben wanted to know details about what the wolf looked like and so on. I found this all slightly offensive and intimate, like he was crossing a line. Those kinds of questions are hard to answer, and I didn't even know Ben. Maybe it was just me--maybe he caught me off guard because he was obviously so comfortable talking openly about these things when I'm still very private about them.

The other thing I found uncomfortable is that we had an audience a couple of times during our activities. Once we were doing some tai chi walking in the parking lot behind a building. No big deal, right, but still I was self-conscious about the steady traffic in the lot and couldn't focus on the experience.

Then at the state park the next day, I knew there would be other people around. We mostly stayed off the main trail and to ourselves. But once we were at the side of the mountain, and were supposed to place our 3rd eye against the bare rock (like in photo at right). I was skeptical anyway about all this, and in addition, there were 3 people watching us. To their credit, they didn't leave or make fun, and one woman even tried it herself and asked questions. Still, made me squirm.

Healthy Dose of Skepticism
Here are several things I'm still trying to figure out. Do I believe they "work" or have "power?" Not sure. And why did we do these things in the first place. I have general ideas, but I guess I'm betraying my novice nature. The facilitator did encourage questions, but I guess I didn't want to seem completely clueless. I may email him some belated questions, and I plan to do more research on my own.

• We gave tobacco as an offering to the mountain. Why? What does the mountain need with tobacco? Felt silly doing this.
  

• We learned a couple of formal blessings and greetings, and I'm not quite sure why these were needed. Do the spirits or whatever get offended? And do I even believe in this kind of thing anyway?
  

• We also worked with crystals and magnets, and while they're fun to play with and admire, I'm still skeptical about claims that they can be used to alter or direct "energy."

• The year 2012. The Mayan calendar predicts the end of one age and the dawn of another, and it seems doomsday scenarios abound. It all reminds me of Christians predicting Christ's return and Armageddon or other doomsday cults--all their predictions have failed. First the Age of Aquarius and now 2012. Just don't buy it.
  

Cool Stuff
Things I enjoyed and found meaningful were these:

We each went off alone to practice calling the four directions and meditate on the elements of earth, air, fire and water. We made observations of all these and listened to the wind. This activity really seemed to make me more aware of the earth, the trees, the sky, the heat and wind and all of nature around me. It helped me open my eyes and see.

We also all sat in a circle after this activity and had a good session of drumming and rattles. Out there on the mountain surrounded by only nature, that was pretty cool.

The other was more of an unplanned experience. Several of us were atop this rocky outcrop and you could see for miles. The facilitator said he wanted to do a chakra activation ceremony for this one woman who was absent the previous day. It was an interesting activity, nothing earth-shattering but not so odd after all--too much to go into here. So were all doing a little chant, and the facilitator does his thing, and it only takes maybe 5 minutes total. When we all opened our eyes, there is a flock of vultures circling overhead! (Photo below shows a few of us on the rocky outcrop.)


This was cool because we saw one or two vultures circling here or there earlier but never so many in one place. Vultures have a rich and powerful symbolism, too:

• guardian to the mysteries of life and death
• feathers are used in rituals for grounding (our purpose that weekend)
• symbolizes the disintegration of the physical
• denotes the ability to use energy powerfully and efficiently (part of our meditation)
• performing rather than just talk
• new relationship between psychic energies and the cosmic forces

So right as our fellow participant's chakras were activated, we saw the vultures circling overhead. Then they just as quickly dispersed. Makes you wonder what drew them to that point!!

All in all, a good experience. I generally felt it introduced as well as reviewed some basics about shamanism while confirming this is a path on which I belong. Another workshop is coming up later this month, and I plan to be there.

This little guy appeared just as we were leaving and paused long enough for me to get his photo.