Sounds for Healing

Last week a friend who I met through last year's Shamanic Mystery School invited me for a sound healing session. Not that I seemed to need it necessarily, but she's starting her own healing practice and wanted, well, guinea pigs. If it's free--I'm there!

(No, this isn't my friend below, but I thought she looked friendly.)

I've had a wee bit of experience with sound healing, but this was my first private session. In order to be a good client, I put some thought into what I might need healing for, and of course, I thought about my relationship with my partner, but also healing for what I perceive as a tendency to hold back and be too much of a pleaser. Sounds minor, but this tendency can turn crippling.

The idea with sound healing is that everything, including us, is made up of energy at various frequencies. Think string theory! So if something is off in your vibration, that could lead to illness, emotional dependencies and all sorts of other problems. If those vibrations can be put back in tune--sort of like tuning an old piano--then you'll be as good as new. Sure, I don't know if I buy into all of it, and yet I know how a favorite song--those particular sounds--can put me in a happy mood or a sad one. Sound does affect us in ways we often take for granted.

Any sounds can be used: bells, gongs, tuning forks, quartz crystal bowls--even the human voice. My biggest surprise during the session came when my friend--a rather quiet, mousy person--started toning with her voice. Out of this little woman came a deep, masculine tone; at first, I thought it was a recording. Her voice changed throughout, from deep to high-pitched, from loud, throaty hums to soft whispers. All the while, she's using her various instruments. Meanwhile, my job is to relax and pay attention to any images or impressions I receive. Afterward, we'd both discuss our experience--and then wait for the healing to take effect.

I won't bore you with all the images and impressions, but the session did give me something to think over. Maybe all those sounds will help me preserve my "personal power," if you will. Overall, the experience was powerful, I do have to say. It's an intimate experience, to allow a person to tone for you in this way, to reveal something about yourself beyond an upset tummy or whatever. Oddly, just lying there listening to my friend's powerful voice and the bold sounds of the instruments chipped away at my own reticence--encouraging me to let my own power and abilities to shine forth. So, I guess it did work! And my friend also offered me another session--for free! I think I'll go back in a few weeks and give it another try.

If you're ever curious about sound healing, I would recommend Zacciah Blackburn, who offers workshops around the country, so there may be one offered near you.

Sounds for Healing

Last week a friend who I met through last year's Shamanic Mystery School invited me for a sound healing session. Not that I seemed to need it necessarily, but she's starting her own healing practice and wanted, well, guinea pigs. If it's free--I'm there!

(No, this isn't my friend below, but I thought she looked friendly.)

I've had a wee bit of experience with sound healing, but this was my first private session. In order to be a good client, I put some thought into what I might need healing for, and of course, I thought about my relationship with my partner, but also healing for what I perceive as a tendency to hold back and be too much of a pleaser. Sounds minor, but this tendency can turn crippling.

The idea with sound healing is that everything, including us, is made up of energy at various frequencies. Think string theory! So if something is off in your vibration, that could lead to illness, emotional dependencies and all sorts of other problems. If those vibrations can be put back in tune--sort of like tuning an old piano--then you'll be as good as new. Sure, I don't know if I buy into all of it, and yet I know how a favorite song--those particular sounds--can put me in a happy mood or a sad one. Sound does affect us in ways we often take for granted.

Any sounds can be used: bells, gongs, tuning forks, quartz crystal bowls--even the human voice. My biggest surprise during the session came when my friend--a rather quiet, mousy person--started toning with her voice. Out of this little woman came a deep, masculine tone; at first, I thought it was a recording. Her voice changed throughout, from deep to high-pitched, from loud, throaty hums to soft whispers. All the while, she's using her various instruments. Meanwhile, my job is to relax and pay attention to any images or impressions I receive. Afterward, we'd both discuss our experience--and then wait for the healing to take effect.

I won't bore you with all the images and impressions, but the session did give me something to think over. Maybe all those sounds will help me preserve my "personal power," if you will. Overall, the experience was powerful, I do have to say. It's an intimate experience, to allow a person to tone for you in this way, to reveal something about yourself beyond an upset tummy or whatever. Oddly, just lying there listening to my friend's powerful voice and the bold sounds of the instruments chipped away at my own reticence--encouraging me to let my own power and abilities to shine forth. So, I guess it did work! And my friend also offered me another session--for free! I think I'll go back in a few weeks and give it another try.

If you're ever curious about sound healing, I would recommend Zacciah Blackburn, who offers workshops around the country, so there may be one offered near you.

My Shaman Staff and Fine Jewelry

I think I had mentioned that for my interfaith minister ordination and the final workshop of the shamanic mystery school, I made special jewelry to wear and my first shaman staff. Was happy with how everything turned out (I'm a regular at Michael's now!), so here are a few pics.

Since the mystery school was based on the 7 chakras, I wanted to make a necklace that incorporated all the stones representing those chakras. I used mostly crystal chip necklaces that we had been given during the workshops. You can buy similar chakra necklaces but I felt making it myself would be much more personal, especially using those crystals that were given as gifts. The dolphin pendant I did buy, and it represents my life-long connection to water. The 2 bone pieces on either side plus the metallic spacers were all purchased at a local jewelry shop. To the right is a matching anklet--since I wore my sarong, my legs and feet were bare and, hey, I needed some more bling! The oval pieces are moonstone, and the squares are agate.

A Shaman Staff and Symbolism
The next pics are of my shaman staff, what every REAL shaman needs, of course! Actually, no, you don't NEED a staff to be a shaman, but they are cool. Practically, a staff provides support (duh!) and it helps break me out of my mundane mindset; you could say it magnifies creativity and helps facilitate my connection with nature, spirits and energy (if you believe in that kind of thing *wink*). Mythically, a staff symbolizes higher forms of communication, the axis between heaven and earth, the universal tree of life, and is an antenna to receive, direct and channel energy; essentially, a staff is an extension of your own personal energy and purpose.


See--don't you want a shaman staff now? I haven't yet used it to get water out of a rock a la Moses in the Bible, but maybe soon!

I found the branch in my own yard, and as soon as I picked up it (preparing to toss it on the trash heap)--I felt a little jolt, if you will, and knew it was to be my staff. The wood is maple, which often symbolizes connections to people and nature, bringing things together and attracting positive spirits. All that seemed appropriate for my ordination and my new path.

So I sanded it down and layered on some coats of varnish. At each end, I wrapped copper wire for attracting energy. In the top, I drilled a hole and used a glue gun to attach a quartz crystal--stand back!

A Staff Should Tell Your Spiritual Story
I read somewhere that ritual tools are particularly effective on a subconscious level if they tell a personal story, something spiritual. At the top and bottom of the staff are strands of wooden beads (see 2nd pic close-up). Going from bottom to top, the bead colors symbolize steps along my spiritual path to date. Brown and black represent nature and space, interests that inspired wonder in me as a child; the beige represents clouds/confusion/fogginess and how I wandered from this path; the red symbolizes the blood of Christ and my time as a Christian; the white shows me coming into the light and clear sight, which is where I am now; last, the blue beads represent my birth stone (sapphire) and getting back to what is authentically me.

Baubles, Bangles and More Beads
You can't really see them here, but I used blue ribbon and silvery wire pendants to represent my connection to water. I also attached a bell or two (for the drama!) and a golden leaf pendant, representing nature and the earth.

This last pic shows a strand that includes feathers (my vulture totem plus the concept of spiritual flight), a wooden cross (Christianity), a blue capiz shell piece (water, again) and moonstone (often associated with wolves, my other totem, of course!).

That's more than you probably ever wanted to know, but thanks for indulging me. These were all quite fun to create, and I can't wait to see what my next craft/ritual tool is going to be!

My Shaman Staff and Fine Jewelry

I think I had mentioned that for my interfaith minister ordination and the final workshop of the shamanic mystery school, I made special jewelry to wear and my first shaman staff. Was happy with how everything turned out (I'm a regular at Michael's now!), so here are a few pics.

Since the mystery school was based on the 7 chakras, I wanted to make a necklace that incorporated all the stones representing those chakras. I used mostly crystal chip necklaces that we had been given during the workshops. You can buy similar chakra necklaces but I felt making it myself would be much more personal, especially using those crystals that were given as gifts. The dolphin pendant I did buy, and it represents my life-long connection to water. The 2 bone pieces on either side plus the metallic spacers were all purchased at a local jewelry shop. To the right is a matching anklet--since I wore my sarong, my legs and feet were bare and, hey, I needed some more bling! The oval pieces are moonstone, and the squares are agate.

A Shaman Staff and Symbolism
The next pics are of my shaman staff, what every REAL shaman needs, of course! Actually, no, you don't NEED a staff to be a shaman, but they are cool. Practically, a staff provides support (duh!) and it helps break me out of my mundane mindset; you could say it magnifies creativity and helps facilitate my connection with nature, spirits and energy (if you believe in that kind of thing *wink*). Mythically, a staff symbolizes higher forms of communication, the axis between heaven and earth, the universal tree of life, and is an antenna to receive, direct and channel energy; essentially, a staff is an extension of your own personal energy and purpose.


See--don't you want a shaman staff now? I haven't yet used it to get water out of a rock a la Moses in the Bible, but maybe soon!

I found the branch in my own yard, and as soon as I picked up it (preparing to toss it on the trash heap)--I felt a little jolt, if you will, and knew it was to be my staff. The wood is maple, which often symbolizes connections to people and nature, bringing things together and attracting positive spirits. All that seemed appropriate for my ordination and my new path.

So I sanded it down and layered on some coats of varnish. At each end, I wrapped copper wire for attracting energy. In the top, I drilled a hole and used a glue gun to attach a quartz crystal--stand back!

A Staff Should Tell Your Spiritual Story
I read somewhere that ritual tools are particularly effective on a subconscious level if they tell a personal story, something spiritual. At the top and bottom of the staff are strands of wooden beads (see 2nd pic close-up). Going from bottom to top, the bead colors symbolize steps along my spiritual path to date. Brown and black represent nature and space, interests that inspired wonder in me as a child; the beige represents clouds/confusion/fogginess and how I wandered from this path; the red symbolizes the blood of Christ and my time as a Christian; the white shows me coming into the light and clear sight, which is where I am now; last, the blue beads represent my birth stone (sapphire) and getting back to what is authentically me.

Baubles, Bangles and More Beads
You can't really see them here, but I used blue ribbon and silvery wire pendants to represent my connection to water. I also attached a bell or two (for the drama!) and a golden leaf pendant, representing nature and the earth.

This last pic shows a strand that includes feathers (my vulture totem plus the concept of spiritual flight), a wooden cross (Christianity), a blue capiz shell piece (water, again) and moonstone (often associated with wolves, my other totem, of course!).

That's more than you probably ever wanted to know, but thanks for indulging me. These were all quite fun to create, and I can't wait to see what my next craft/ritual tool is going to be!

Testing, Testing: Is This Crystal On?

Do you believe that crystals have special powers or energies? I don't know myself, but they are beautiful and alluring. Just look at this one from Brazil, 26 inches tall and 32 pounds. It now sits at Mountain Light Sanctuary in the garden circle thanks, in part, to yours truly.

If you're a longtime reader, you may recall that Mountain Light, located near Asheville, North Carolina, is a favorite retreat of mine. The owner recently emailed frequent visitors describing his intention to purchase this crystal and place it in the garden. He decided to do so by inviting people to donate toward the purchase and with the donation become part of a far-flung Mountain Light "intentional community."

The owner, Michael, said to send with our donation a piece of paper on which we should write our intention for 2009. He would then permanently place all these intentions underneath the crystal--the idea being that as we gave positive energy to our individual intentions each time we thought of the crystal, we would also be supporting the intentions of others as well.

Hokey, maybe, but I thought it was cool. I jumped at the chance to contribute, to help make manifest in some small way another touch of beauty and harmony in this wonderful retreat up in the Pisgah National Forest.

So, the crystal was purchase and placed in the garden on Sunday, May 3. I wasn't able to attend, but Michael sent some photos of the dedication ceremony, attended by roughly 60 folks.

Michael says he received donations and intentions from 91 people from 7 countries--Dominican Republic, Israel, Mexico, Paraguay, Turkey, the UK & the USA--now part of his Mountain Light Intentional Community. How cool is that?!

Wondering about my intention? I'm afraid I'm keeping that secret for now. Somehow, it feels right to keep it private, to nurture it, think on the crystal and see what happens. I know nothing is private in the blogosphere, but I hope you'll indulge me on this one thing, which feels quite sacred and personal.

It's been exactly 1 year since I last visited Mountain Light--hmmm, interesting. Don't know when I'll return, but when I do, I look forward to seeing the beauty of the crystal in person, with the knowledge that my intention will have broken down by then, making itself part of the rich mountain soil. It's my gift to this special place, and it feels as if I'll always be a part of it from now on.

Click here for more on Mountain Light Sanctuary, one of my personal sacred places.

If you're a crystal freak, check out the Web site of the dealer who provided the crystal for Mountain Light: www.thequantumawakening.com.

Testing, Testing: Is This Crystal On?

Do you believe that crystals have special powers or energies? I don't know myself, but they are beautiful and alluring. Just look at this one from Brazil, 26 inches tall and 32 pounds. It now sits at Mountain Light Sanctuary in the garden circle thanks, in part, to yours truly.

If you're a longtime reader, you may recall that Mountain Light, located near Asheville, North Carolina, is a favorite retreat of mine. The owner recently emailed frequent visitors describing his intention to purchase this crystal and place it in the garden. He decided to do so by inviting people to donate toward the purchase and with the donation become part of a far-flung Mountain Light "intentional community."

The owner, Michael, said to send with our donation a piece of paper on which we should write our intention for 2009. He would then permanently place all these intentions underneath the crystal--the idea being that as we gave positive energy to our individual intentions each time we thought of the crystal, we would also be supporting the intentions of others as well.

Hokey, maybe, but I thought it was cool. I jumped at the chance to contribute, to help make manifest in some small way another touch of beauty and harmony in this wonderful retreat up in the Pisgah National Forest.

So, the crystal was purchase and placed in the garden on Sunday, May 3. I wasn't able to attend, but Michael sent some photos of the dedication ceremony, attended by roughly 60 folks.

Michael says he received donations and intentions from 91 people from 7 countries--Dominican Republic, Israel, Mexico, Paraguay, Turkey, the UK & the USA--now part of his Mountain Light Intentional Community. How cool is that?!

Wondering about my intention? I'm afraid I'm keeping that secret for now. Somehow, it feels right to keep it private, to nurture it, think on the crystal and see what happens. I know nothing is private in the blogosphere, but I hope you'll indulge me on this one thing, which feels quite sacred and personal.

It's been exactly 1 year since I last visited Mountain Light--hmmm, interesting. Don't know when I'll return, but when I do, I look forward to seeing the beauty of the crystal in person, with the knowledge that my intention will have broken down by then, making itself part of the rich mountain soil. It's my gift to this special place, and it feels as if I'll always be a part of it from now on.

Click here for more on Mountain Light Sanctuary, one of my personal sacred places.

If you're a crystal freak, check out the Web site of the dealer who provided the crystal for Mountain Light: www.thequantumawakening.com.

Mexico's Stunning Crystal Cave

Wow--I bet those things could balance your chakras in no time!

Have you heard about this place? Guess I've been out of the loop. It's a cave beneath Mexico's Chihuachua Desert, filled with giant crystals, some over 30 feet long. The cave was identified several years ago, but the crystals weren't uncovered until the water was pumped out and exploration began sometime in 2007. "National Geographic" ran a story , with excellent photos.

The giant crystals were formed as a result of essentially perfect conditions--mineral-rich water, a steady temp over 100 degrees and lots of gypsum (calcium sulfate).

Lately, I've been rediscovering and indulging my fascination with crystals, and these are stunning. Click here for even more amazing photographs. Fortunately, nature is prohibiting the cave's development as a tourist attraction. The intense heat keeps people away, and it isn't easy to reach, either. A steel door has been placed at the entrance to keep out the adventurous and stupid. Here's hoping this cave is seen only in photographs---you just know some crazy crystal hunter will start trying to chip off pieces for his magic wand!

Mexico's Stunning Crystal Cave

Wow--I bet those things could balance your chakras in no time!

Have you heard about this place? Guess I've been out of the loop. It's a cave beneath Mexico's Chihuachua Desert, filled with giant crystals, some over 30 feet long. The cave was identified several years ago, but the crystals weren't uncovered until the water was pumped out and exploration began sometime in 2007. "National Geographic" ran a story , with excellent photos.

The giant crystals were formed as a result of essentially perfect conditions--mineral-rich water, a steady temp over 100 degrees and lots of gypsum (calcium sulfate).

Lately, I've been rediscovering and indulging my fascination with crystals, and these are stunning. Click here for even more amazing photographs. Fortunately, nature is prohibiting the cave's development as a tourist attraction. The intense heat keeps people away, and it isn't easy to reach, either. A steel door has been placed at the entrance to keep out the adventurous and stupid. Here's hoping this cave is seen only in photographs---you just know some crazy crystal hunter will start trying to chip off pieces for his magic wand!

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."

Sex, Money & Power Tools!--Reflections on the Latest Shamanic Workshop

Busy week and I'm late on posting about the shamanic workshop 2 weeks ago. I'll have to give you the short-and-sweet version! And here are some pics of our trip to a state park where we worked with elemental energy, the directions and blew our conch shells (very fun!).


This workshop focused on the navel chakra, which is associated with emotions and water. Wrapped up in all this is our perceptions, hang-ups and obsessions over complicated things like money, sex and power.

We talked about how money is simply just energy. Money is actually only worth something because we say it is. In fact, money is not "real." Our dollar bills are no different than shells once traded by Native Americans. But how we view money says much about us. I'm pretty responsible with it, but I guess that's because deep down I'm afraid others will judge what I do with my money. I also try to be generous and not take it too seriously (contradictions?), and that's all connected to family history.


Sex, well, that's an entire blog! Ask yourself: what is the purpose of sex? What are the "rules?" Is it ok to pleasure yourself? What is your earliest sexual memory? What does your religion teach about sex? Is sex outside marriage right or wrong? What about same-sex acts? Yes, I have my own hang-ups, and I'm working on releasing those....

Power is tricky. We all have our own power, whether we believe it or not. But how do you use it? And why do you deny your own power? What makes you feel powerful and why and when? If you were all-powerful/omnipotent, what would you do and why? I typically don't trust my own power and shy away from traditional expressions of power, such as at work or in my relationships. That may not be "bad," but I'd like to know more about why I do what I do. What does it bring me?

And in our workshop, we made some shaman tools or "mana" (spirit) tubes. We capped them with copper, and the idea is that the metal attracts energy while the wood contains it. In one tube we added sand and a quartz crystal. I don't know if I believe all this actually does anything, so I need to keep reading. Supposedly, these tools can tap into the earth's energy and you can direct it or use it. Oooooh--can I zap someone? We were encouraged to add some decorations, so when I get around to that, I'll add some pics to the blog.

Well, that's it. No deep insights this time. Just meditating on what we did and whether I find any of it worthwhile. I forgot to mention that we also experimented with geomancy and divination using metal shapes, stones and pendulums. Mostly it was just fun--and that's a good thing.

Sex, Money & Power Tools!--Reflections on the Latest Shamanic Workshop

Busy week and I'm late on posting about the shamanic workshop 2 weeks ago. I'll have to give you the short-and-sweet version! And here are some pics of our trip to a state park where we worked with elemental energy, the directions and blew our conch shells (very fun!).


This workshop focused on the navel chakra, which is associated with emotions and water. Wrapped up in all this is our perceptions, hang-ups and obsessions over complicated things like money, sex and power.

We talked about how money is simply just energy. Money is actually only worth something because we say it is. In fact, money is not "real." Our dollar bills are no different than shells once traded by Native Americans. But how we view money says much about us. I'm pretty responsible with it, but I guess that's because deep down I'm afraid others will judge what I do with my money. I also try to be generous and not take it too seriously (contradictions?), and that's all connected to family history.


Sex, well, that's an entire blog! Ask yourself: what is the purpose of sex? What are the "rules?" Is it ok to pleasure yourself? What is your earliest sexual memory? What does your religion teach about sex? Is sex outside marriage right or wrong? What about same-sex acts? Yes, I have my own hang-ups, and I'm working on releasing those....

Power is tricky. We all have our own power, whether we believe it or not. But how do you use it? And why do you deny your own power? What makes you feel powerful and why and when? If you were all-powerful/omnipotent, what would you do and why? I typically don't trust my own power and shy away from traditional expressions of power, such as at work or in my relationships. That may not be "bad," but I'd like to know more about why I do what I do. What does it bring me?

And in our workshop, we made some shaman tools or "mana" (spirit) tubes. We capped them with copper, and the idea is that the metal attracts energy while the wood contains it. In one tube we added sand and a quartz crystal. I don't know if I believe all this actually does anything, so I need to keep reading. Supposedly, these tools can tap into the earth's energy and you can direct it or use it. Oooooh--can I zap someone? We were encouraged to add some decorations, so when I get around to that, I'll add some pics to the blog.

Well, that's it. No deep insights this time. Just meditating on what we did and whether I find any of it worthwhile. I forgot to mention that we also experimented with geomancy and divination using metal shapes, stones and pendulums. Mostly it was just fun--and that's a good thing.

My Shamanic Weekend--a healthy dose of skepticism, plus likes and dislikes

This'll be the last post about the shamanic workshop 2 weeks ago, but I wanted to share a few dislikes and doubts as well as stuff I thought was cool. A few remaining pics from the state park, too.

If you click on this photo, you may be able to see the rainbow in the sky between the trees!

Discomfort and Dislikes
Naturally, when you sign up for something like shamanism, you gotta expect the weird and unusual--especially when it comes to fellow participants. There was this one guy, "Ben," who was actually friendly and outgoing, but I also began to question his sanity. Wait, I know what you're thinking--maybe I should question my own sanity since I'm the one calling myself a shaman!

Ben was just a bit too excited for me. And he kept asking me direct questions about my wolf spirit totem. He even claimed he could "see" the wolf himself. Ben wanted to know details about what the wolf looked like and so on. I found this all slightly offensive and intimate, like he was crossing a line. Those kinds of questions are hard to answer, and I didn't even know Ben. Maybe it was just me--maybe he caught me off guard because he was obviously so comfortable talking openly about these things when I'm still very private about them.

The other thing I found uncomfortable is that we had an audience a couple of times during our activities. Once we were doing some tai chi walking in the parking lot behind a building. No big deal, right, but still I was self-conscious about the steady traffic in the lot and couldn't focus on the experience.

Then at the state park the next day, I knew there would be other people around. We mostly stayed off the main trail and to ourselves. But once we were at the side of the mountain, and were supposed to place our 3rd eye against the bare rock (like in photo at right). I was skeptical anyway about all this, and in addition, there were 3 people watching us. To their credit, they didn't leave or make fun, and one woman even tried it herself and asked questions. Still, made me squirm.

Healthy Dose of Skepticism
Here are several things I'm still trying to figure out. Do I believe they "work" or have "power?" Not sure. And why did we do these things in the first place. I have general ideas, but I guess I'm betraying my novice nature. The facilitator did encourage questions, but I guess I didn't want to seem completely clueless. I may email him some belated questions, and I plan to do more research on my own.

• We gave tobacco as an offering to the mountain. Why? What does the mountain need with tobacco? Felt silly doing this.
  

• We learned a couple of formal blessings and greetings, and I'm not quite sure why these were needed. Do the spirits or whatever get offended? And do I even believe in this kind of thing anyway?
  

• We also worked with crystals and magnets, and while they're fun to play with and admire, I'm still skeptical about claims that they can be used to alter or direct "energy."

• The year 2012. The Mayan calendar predicts the end of one age and the dawn of another, and it seems doomsday scenarios abound. It all reminds me of Christians predicting Christ's return and Armageddon or other doomsday cults--all their predictions have failed. First the Age of Aquarius and now 2012. Just don't buy it.
  

Cool Stuff
Things I enjoyed and found meaningful were these:

We each went off alone to practice calling the four directions and meditate on the elements of earth, air, fire and water. We made observations of all these and listened to the wind. This activity really seemed to make me more aware of the earth, the trees, the sky, the heat and wind and all of nature around me. It helped me open my eyes and see.

We also all sat in a circle after this activity and had a good session of drumming and rattles. Out there on the mountain surrounded by only nature, that was pretty cool.

The other was more of an unplanned experience. Several of us were atop this rocky outcrop and you could see for miles. The facilitator said he wanted to do a chakra activation ceremony for this one woman who was absent the previous day. It was an interesting activity, nothing earth-shattering but not so odd after all--too much to go into here. So were all doing a little chant, and the facilitator does his thing, and it only takes maybe 5 minutes total. When we all opened our eyes, there is a flock of vultures circling overhead! (Photo below shows a few of us on the rocky outcrop.)


This was cool because we saw one or two vultures circling here or there earlier but never so many in one place. Vultures have a rich and powerful symbolism, too:

• guardian to the mysteries of life and death
• feathers are used in rituals for grounding (our purpose that weekend)
• symbolizes the disintegration of the physical
• denotes the ability to use energy powerfully and efficiently (part of our meditation)
• performing rather than just talk
• new relationship between psychic energies and the cosmic forces

So right as our fellow participant's chakras were activated, we saw the vultures circling overhead. Then they just as quickly dispersed. Makes you wonder what drew them to that point!!

All in all, a good experience. I generally felt it introduced as well as reviewed some basics about shamanism while confirming this is a path on which I belong. Another workshop is coming up later this month, and I plan to be there.

This little guy appeared just as we were leaving and paused long enough for me to get his photo.

My Shamanic Weekend--a healthy dose of skepticism, plus likes and dislikes

This'll be the last post about the shamanic workshop 2 weeks ago, but I wanted to share a few dislikes and doubts as well as stuff I thought was cool. A few remaining pics from the state park, too.

If you click on this photo, you may be able to see the rainbow in the sky between the trees!

Discomfort and Dislikes
Naturally, when you sign up for something like shamanism, you gotta expect the weird and unusual--especially when it comes to fellow participants. There was this one guy, "Ben," who was actually friendly and outgoing, but I also began to question his sanity. Wait, I know what you're thinking--maybe I should question my own sanity since I'm the one calling myself a shaman!

Ben was just a bit too excited for me. And he kept asking me direct questions about my wolf spirit totem. He even claimed he could "see" the wolf himself. Ben wanted to know details about what the wolf looked like and so on. I found this all slightly offensive and intimate, like he was crossing a line. Those kinds of questions are hard to answer, and I didn't even know Ben. Maybe it was just me--maybe he caught me off guard because he was obviously so comfortable talking openly about these things when I'm still very private about them.

The other thing I found uncomfortable is that we had an audience a couple of times during our activities. Once we were doing some tai chi walking in the parking lot behind a building. No big deal, right, but still I was self-conscious about the steady traffic in the lot and couldn't focus on the experience.

Then at the state park the next day, I knew there would be other people around. We mostly stayed off the main trail and to ourselves. But once we were at the side of the mountain, and were supposed to place our 3rd eye against the bare rock (like in photo at right). I was skeptical anyway about all this, and in addition, there were 3 people watching us. To their credit, they didn't leave or make fun, and one woman even tried it herself and asked questions. Still, made me squirm.

Healthy Dose of Skepticism
Here are several things I'm still trying to figure out. Do I believe they "work" or have "power?" Not sure. And why did we do these things in the first place. I have general ideas, but I guess I'm betraying my novice nature. The facilitator did encourage questions, but I guess I didn't want to seem completely clueless. I may email him some belated questions, and I plan to do more research on my own.

• We gave tobacco as an offering to the mountain. Why? What does the mountain need with tobacco? Felt silly doing this.
  

• We learned a couple of formal blessings and greetings, and I'm not quite sure why these were needed. Do the spirits or whatever get offended? And do I even believe in this kind of thing anyway?
  

• We also worked with crystals and magnets, and while they're fun to play with and admire, I'm still skeptical about claims that they can be used to alter or direct "energy."

• The year 2012. The Mayan calendar predicts the end of one age and the dawn of another, and it seems doomsday scenarios abound. It all reminds me of Christians predicting Christ's return and Armageddon or other doomsday cults--all their predictions have failed. First the Age of Aquarius and now 2012. Just don't buy it.
  

Cool Stuff
Things I enjoyed and found meaningful were these:

We each went off alone to practice calling the four directions and meditate on the elements of earth, air, fire and water. We made observations of all these and listened to the wind. This activity really seemed to make me more aware of the earth, the trees, the sky, the heat and wind and all of nature around me. It helped me open my eyes and see.

We also all sat in a circle after this activity and had a good session of drumming and rattles. Out there on the mountain surrounded by only nature, that was pretty cool.

The other was more of an unplanned experience. Several of us were atop this rocky outcrop and you could see for miles. The facilitator said he wanted to do a chakra activation ceremony for this one woman who was absent the previous day. It was an interesting activity, nothing earth-shattering but not so odd after all--too much to go into here. So were all doing a little chant, and the facilitator does his thing, and it only takes maybe 5 minutes total. When we all opened our eyes, there is a flock of vultures circling overhead! (Photo below shows a few of us on the rocky outcrop.)


This was cool because we saw one or two vultures circling here or there earlier but never so many in one place. Vultures have a rich and powerful symbolism, too:

• guardian to the mysteries of life and death
• feathers are used in rituals for grounding (our purpose that weekend)
• symbolizes the disintegration of the physical
• denotes the ability to use energy powerfully and efficiently (part of our meditation)
• performing rather than just talk
• new relationship between psychic energies and the cosmic forces

So right as our fellow participant's chakras were activated, we saw the vultures circling overhead. Then they just as quickly dispersed. Makes you wonder what drew them to that point!!

All in all, a good experience. I generally felt it introduced as well as reviewed some basics about shamanism while confirming this is a path on which I belong. Another workshop is coming up later this month, and I plan to be there.

This little guy appeared just as we were leaving and paused long enough for me to get his photo.