A Journey Through the Akashic Records, the Book of Life and My Ego

This past Friday I attended a meditation at a friend's home, and the idea was to journey (or meditate) to the Akashic Records, a theoretical place where you can "access" information about all our lives, past, present and future. I had heard about the Akashic Records but didn't know much. The idea grew out of the Theosophical Movement and was popularized by psychic Edgar Cayce. I was looking forward to a group meditation since I had mostly been journeying alone, the subject matter was interesting and I wanted to meet the meditation leader, who owns a esoteric healing school where some friends are employed. End result? Not impressed, but I think it had more to do with me than anything else.

I've heard of Cayce but don't really know much. Anway, I was curious to "visit" this place where he claimed you could find all the records of all our lives (assuming reincarnation is real, of course). The idea is you go to gain insight; any problems you're having now are linked to past-life decisions/actions. Sort of like a super computer.

Scary Christian Crap
But the more I read about the Akashic Records ("akasha" is a Sanskrit word meaning "big, blue sky"), the more apprehensive I became. A lot of people, even the meditation leader, likened it to the Biblical Book of Life. Maybe that comparison helps people understand, but it just turned me off. Do you know how many times I agonized as a Christian about whether or not my name was truly written in that damn book?! For whatever reason, I feared that I would die and reach Heaven only to have Jesus shake his head sadly and send me to Hell. Yeah, good times!

Obviously, I have issues there--but, seriously, why use an outdated, fear-based comparison? Can't we move past that? But I was still curious to see what I would experience. Hey, I'm an optimist. While I didn't have any very specific info I was seeking, I thought, well, I'm curious to know about my future with my partner. These kind of meditations can trigger all sorts of things in the subconscious.

Jealous? Who--me?
It started out rough. I had never been to my friend's house before (we went through the shamanic mystery school together)--and immediately Envy reared its green head. She has a beautiful home, just the kind I'd love to have. Lush, green yard full of flowers and plants, and a lovely home with art, very comfortable and well-appointed. I know, I know--none of that matters--except when you have these aspirations and wonder why you've failed to achieve them.

So I was focused on that as we started the first of two meditations. I also didn't like that the meditation leader basically just jumped right in--no special breathing, so ringing of a bell, just "close your eyes and go!" The first meditation, however, came together. It wasn't to the Akasha but one designed to help us tap into life purpose and soul messages. But it was too damn short! This one was very vivid and felt like it was going somewhere--and then it ended. So maybe I'll have to revisit this one again on my own.

Over Before It Began
After a break, we headed to the Akashic Records. Before we began, the leader showed us a picture created to show what Cayce experienced on his own journey. Again, very reminiscent of ascending through the levels of Hell up to Heaven--at least, that's what I saw. First, I don't believe in any demons or evil creatures anyway, so this was just another barrier. What is the point really? All I knew is I was uncomfortable with the setting, and so I knew I needed to protect myself. Maybe that's why it didn't go so well.

So we head "up" to the Library. I did see an actual book, which when opened contained more futuristic-looking cartridges. I was handed one by some nondescript entity--but then it was time to go back! It seemed like most of the journey was us getting there, and then it was time to return. Oddly, I did sense that my partner was there with me, which was nice. But that was it--no messages, no other imagery, nothing.

Once the leader brought us back to regular consciousness, we all discussed what we had experienced. Several others mentioned all kinds of things they saw and felt. I began to wonder maybe I had done something wrong. Why hadn't I experienced all this?? Whatever--I was ready to leave. So I quickly gathered my things, said my goodbyes and was the first out the door (it was late anyway, I told myself).

Not a Complete Bust
I was disappointed. I had looked forward to this for several weeks only to get creeped out and leave feeling, "What was the big deal?" Everyone else kept saying how wonderful it was and blah, blah, blah. But now that I've had time to think it over, I do feel better. And I've had some realizations:

1. I simply don't care for these meditations where people seem to need validation ("you are loved," "God loves you," etc). To me, it's irrelevant. I don't believe in a god whose love I need in order to feel special. Also, I don't have a need to constantly heal past "trauma." Sure, my life has had its share of bad stuff, but somehow I get through it relatively well, whereas some people never can get past what their mother didn't do right or what happened to them in the past.
2. My ego was in the way. Obviously, I have issues about material, worldly success, and that clouded my attitude and energy from the start. If I hadn't been comparing myself to my friend, I might have had a different experience. Then afterward, I was comparing my meditation experience to that of everyone else. Despite my frustration, I'm sure I could gain some insights from what I DID experience rather than trying to meet some obscure expectations.

So, in the end, maybe I learned something after all, in spite of myself. And that's what I dig about shamanism.

A Journey Through the Akashic Records, the Book of Life and My Ego

This past Friday I attended a meditation at a friend's home, and the idea was to journey (or meditate) to the Akashic Records, a theoretical place where you can "access" information about all our lives, past, present and future. I had heard about the Akashic Records but didn't know much. The idea grew out of the Theosophical Movement and was popularized by psychic Edgar Cayce. I was looking forward to a group meditation since I had mostly been journeying alone, the subject matter was interesting and I wanted to meet the meditation leader, who owns a esoteric healing school where some friends are employed. End result? Not impressed, but I think it had more to do with me than anything else.

I've heard of Cayce but don't really know much. Anway, I was curious to "visit" this place where he claimed you could find all the records of all our lives (assuming reincarnation is real, of course). The idea is you go to gain insight; any problems you're having now are linked to past-life decisions/actions. Sort of like a super computer.

Scary Christian Crap
But the more I read about the Akashic Records ("akasha" is a Sanskrit word meaning "big, blue sky"), the more apprehensive I became. A lot of people, even the meditation leader, likened it to the Biblical Book of Life. Maybe that comparison helps people understand, but it just turned me off. Do you know how many times I agonized as a Christian about whether or not my name was truly written in that damn book?! For whatever reason, I feared that I would die and reach Heaven only to have Jesus shake his head sadly and send me to Hell. Yeah, good times!

Obviously, I have issues there--but, seriously, why use an outdated, fear-based comparison? Can't we move past that? But I was still curious to see what I would experience. Hey, I'm an optimist. While I didn't have any very specific info I was seeking, I thought, well, I'm curious to know about my future with my partner. These kind of meditations can trigger all sorts of things in the subconscious.

Jealous? Who--me?
It started out rough. I had never been to my friend's house before (we went through the shamanic mystery school together)--and immediately Envy reared its green head. She has a beautiful home, just the kind I'd love to have. Lush, green yard full of flowers and plants, and a lovely home with art, very comfortable and well-appointed. I know, I know--none of that matters--except when you have these aspirations and wonder why you've failed to achieve them.

So I was focused on that as we started the first of two meditations. I also didn't like that the meditation leader basically just jumped right in--no special breathing, so ringing of a bell, just "close your eyes and go!" The first meditation, however, came together. It wasn't to the Akasha but one designed to help us tap into life purpose and soul messages. But it was too damn short! This one was very vivid and felt like it was going somewhere--and then it ended. So maybe I'll have to revisit this one again on my own.

Over Before It Began
After a break, we headed to the Akashic Records. Before we began, the leader showed us a picture created to show what Cayce experienced on his own journey. Again, very reminiscent of ascending through the levels of Hell up to Heaven--at least, that's what I saw. First, I don't believe in any demons or evil creatures anyway, so this was just another barrier. What is the point really? All I knew is I was uncomfortable with the setting, and so I knew I needed to protect myself. Maybe that's why it didn't go so well.

So we head "up" to the Library. I did see an actual book, which when opened contained more futuristic-looking cartridges. I was handed one by some nondescript entity--but then it was time to go back! It seemed like most of the journey was us getting there, and then it was time to return. Oddly, I did sense that my partner was there with me, which was nice. But that was it--no messages, no other imagery, nothing.

Once the leader brought us back to regular consciousness, we all discussed what we had experienced. Several others mentioned all kinds of things they saw and felt. I began to wonder maybe I had done something wrong. Why hadn't I experienced all this?? Whatever--I was ready to leave. So I quickly gathered my things, said my goodbyes and was the first out the door (it was late anyway, I told myself).

Not a Complete Bust
I was disappointed. I had looked forward to this for several weeks only to get creeped out and leave feeling, "What was the big deal?" Everyone else kept saying how wonderful it was and blah, blah, blah. But now that I've had time to think it over, I do feel better. And I've had some realizations:

1. I simply don't care for these meditations where people seem to need validation ("you are loved," "God loves you," etc). To me, it's irrelevant. I don't believe in a god whose love I need in order to feel special. Also, I don't have a need to constantly heal past "trauma." Sure, my life has had its share of bad stuff, but somehow I get through it relatively well, whereas some people never can get past what their mother didn't do right or what happened to them in the past.
2. My ego was in the way. Obviously, I have issues about material, worldly success, and that clouded my attitude and energy from the start. If I hadn't been comparing myself to my friend, I might have had a different experience. Then afterward, I was comparing my meditation experience to that of everyone else. Despite my frustration, I'm sure I could gain some insights from what I DID experience rather than trying to meet some obscure expectations.

So, in the end, maybe I learned something after all, in spite of myself. And that's what I dig about shamanism.

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Sirius and Sacredness, Part 3

Meditations, Melchizedek and Melancholy

Part 3 of 4. This part of the last workshop is tough to write down since I have so many conflicting emotions.
This workshop was heavy on various meditation techniques and lots of practice, which I enjoyed. Shamanic journeying (or meditation, if you prefer) has become an effective spiritual technique for me in reaching insights, peace and other good stuff. But I see it as a vehicle to access the subconscious part of ourselves and not literally as a gateway for talking to various beings, entities and others that exist at other levels of consciousness.

I could be wrong, of course. But I'm just leery of believing in yet more ascendant beings (like Jesus) who are supposed to reach down and save humanity if only we'll do their bidding. Or evangelize and convince everyone else to see things our way. Been there, bought that T-shirt!

Angels Among Us?
Some of the meditations, I'm just not comfortable sharing about yet. Some produced feelings of real joy and peace, and others led me on mysterious inner journeys. A few seemed just silly (trip to the star Sirius anyone?), and I'm a little embarrassed about what I "saw" and experienced.

Others were surprising at first and then, upon further reflection, not so much given my Christian background. Since angels have become such a New Age staple now, one of journey's was to hang out with a few. Me--not interested. I know we're lulled into thinking angels are beings who sweetly sing about the baby Jesus' birth, but I know there are plenty of stories in the Bible about angels bringing bad news and being harbingers of doom. Have you read the book of Revelation? So I didn't get much out of this one, no surprise.

But it's all just symbolic, right? Another meditation surprised me with the power of its symbols. Without any specific instructions or anything, I saw a white dove hovering over me in one meditation, its body so close to me it blocked out the sun. And I "heard" the dove speak with the voice of Jesus. Now, as someone who no longer believes Jesus is a divine being or the son of god, this was unsettling. It was "all in my head," and yet the emotions it triggered were familiar to those I once felt when deep in prayer as a devout Christian.

Maybe this only means I shouldn't write off those experiences. Many New Agers or pagans see Jesus as a cool dude or an ascended being from whom we can all learn without pledging our eternal allegiance. Maybe--I'm working on that.

Careful Who You Follow
I guess I'm curious as to whether you can find value in some of these practices without taking all of it literally--which is what got me into trouble with Christianity. We watched a video of a guy named Drunvalo Melchizedek, who I've mentioned before. It's all very complicated, but he basically sees himself as some enlightened being sent here to help the rest of us--if we'll only buy his books and CDs. In fact, he's suing some guy right now for alleged copyright infringement because this guy used his meditation technique without permission.

Interesting. If your meditation technique is key to human evolution and the greater good, shouldn't it be free? Even if Jesus' followers don't always follow this rule, at least Jesus did.

In summary, the Melchizedek guy strikes me as a little stuck on himself and how special he is. I just don't buy it--and yet the facilitator for our workshops is a big fan, and a lot of the stuff we've discussed is based on D. Melchizedek's ideas. Some of the ideas are too far-out for me to accept. It just all seems so complicated and dense and--weird. Sure, it's fun and entertaining--like a great TV show--but I don't know that I want to pattern my life after it. I have that T-shirt, too.

I'm sticking with my gut this time.

If you want an entertaining read about some of these theories from various sources, check out Secret Sun. Blogger Christopher Knowles does an admirable job of exploring some wacky ideas with an appealing blend of curiosity and skepticism. Lots of fun to read.

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Sirius and Sacredness, Part 3

Meditations, Melchizedek and Melancholy

Part 3 of 4. This part of the last workshop is tough to write down since I have so many conflicting emotions.
This workshop was heavy on various meditation techniques and lots of practice, which I enjoyed. Shamanic journeying (or meditation, if you prefer) has become an effective spiritual technique for me in reaching insights, peace and other good stuff. But I see it as a vehicle to access the subconscious part of ourselves and not literally as a gateway for talking to various beings, entities and others that exist at other levels of consciousness.

I could be wrong, of course. But I'm just leery of believing in yet more ascendant beings (like Jesus) who are supposed to reach down and save humanity if only we'll do their bidding. Or evangelize and convince everyone else to see things our way. Been there, bought that T-shirt!

Angels Among Us?
Some of the meditations, I'm just not comfortable sharing about yet. Some produced feelings of real joy and peace, and others led me on mysterious inner journeys. A few seemed just silly (trip to the star Sirius anyone?), and I'm a little embarrassed about what I "saw" and experienced.

Others were surprising at first and then, upon further reflection, not so much given my Christian background. Since angels have become such a New Age staple now, one of journey's was to hang out with a few. Me--not interested. I know we're lulled into thinking angels are beings who sweetly sing about the baby Jesus' birth, but I know there are plenty of stories in the Bible about angels bringing bad news and being harbingers of doom. Have you read the book of Revelation? So I didn't get much out of this one, no surprise.

But it's all just symbolic, right? Another meditation surprised me with the power of its symbols. Without any specific instructions or anything, I saw a white dove hovering over me in one meditation, its body so close to me it blocked out the sun. And I "heard" the dove speak with the voice of Jesus. Now, as someone who no longer believes Jesus is a divine being or the son of god, this was unsettling. It was "all in my head," and yet the emotions it triggered were familiar to those I once felt when deep in prayer as a devout Christian.

Maybe this only means I shouldn't write off those experiences. Many New Agers or pagans see Jesus as a cool dude or an ascended being from whom we can all learn without pledging our eternal allegiance. Maybe--I'm working on that.

Careful Who You Follow
I guess I'm curious as to whether you can find value in some of these practices without taking all of it literally--which is what got me into trouble with Christianity. We watched a video of a guy named Drunvalo Melchizedek, who I've mentioned before. It's all very complicated, but he basically sees himself as some enlightened being sent here to help the rest of us--if we'll only buy his books and CDs. In fact, he's suing some guy right now for alleged copyright infringement because this guy used his meditation technique without permission.

Interesting. If your meditation technique is key to human evolution and the greater good, shouldn't it be free? Even if Jesus' followers don't always follow this rule, at least Jesus did.

In summary, the Melchizedek guy strikes me as a little stuck on himself and how special he is. I just don't buy it--and yet the facilitator for our workshops is a big fan, and a lot of the stuff we've discussed is based on D. Melchizedek's ideas. Some of the ideas are too far-out for me to accept. It just all seems so complicated and dense and--weird. Sure, it's fun and entertaining--like a great TV show--but I don't know that I want to pattern my life after it. I have that T-shirt, too.

I'm sticking with my gut this time.

If you want an entertaining read about some of these theories from various sources, check out Secret Sun. Blogger Christopher Knowles does an admirable job of exploring some wacky ideas with an appealing blend of curiosity and skepticism. Lots of fun to read.

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Vibrations, Venus and Voice--or, What I Liked

Last weekend I attended the 5th in a series of 7 shamanic workshops through a local teacher. These weekends seem to be growing in intensity, and it's difficult at times to communicate what I've experienced. Wish I could just do a Vulcan mind-meld! So I'll split this into 2 posts: here, what I liked, and later, what I found challenging or just plain cuckoo.

Express Yourself
Since we're following the chakra system, this workshop focused on the throat chakra, which allegedly influences not just our breathing and voice but also our self-expression. I think my throat chakra was in good working order since I showed up wearing my kilt, eye liner and glittery nail polish! Hey, if you can't get bizarre during a shamanic weekend, when the hell can you? So we discussed the importance of speaking with integrity in life as well as how free expression helps us tap into our true selves and avoid the filters that our culture imposes upon us.

Here's a good video that explains it better than I can:


Do-Re-Mi!
From there, we discussed the various ways the voice is used in singing, chanting, humming and so on, and how importance these kinds of expression are to every culture and religion. Things like Gregorian chants, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Tibetan throat chanting--things we take for granted but which by their very sound have the ability to inspire us, change us. How is this possible? Why does it work? Herein lies the power of the throat chakra--and the power of sound.

Good Vibrations
It's not just a Beach Boys song! We have all kinds of slang for how sound affects us: "good vibes," "striking the right chord," "being in tune" and so on. So just take a little shamanic jump--and welcome to the world of sound healing. It's the theory that certain sounds can affect us physically, even heal us, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I know how easy it is for a favorite pop song to put me in a good mood, so I was game.

We played with various Tibetan bells, chimes and--my favorite--the singing bowls. They produce such lovely, entrancing sounds. Just listening calms me down. But can it heal cancer? Well.... Anyway, the idea was to reconsider how sounds affect us and how beneficial they can be.

The really fun part was when we began using tuning forks. Here the idea is that each chakra corresponds to a different octave. So get a set of tuning forks and get to work! We paired up, one person lying on a massage table while the other person activated various tuning forks and then placed them by the ears. It was interesting to note the physical reactions I had to each fork and its corresponding tone. For example, the "E" fork, corresponding to the solar plexus chakra, felt very calming and stabilizing to me. Both the "A" and "B" forks, corresponding to the third eye and crown chakras, literally made me twitch and tremble, as if something inside was being shifted into place.

Here's a good brief explanation of why this is supposed to work. No endorsement but just liked the explanation. There are also special tuning forks that produce the "om" sound and forks that, when activated and place on a bony part of the body, are supposed to enhance healing. That exercise certainly was soothing. I'm sure plenty of skeptics would call this nonsense, but I wouldn't mind purchasing a set of forks and playing around with them, just to see what happens.

All Aboard for Venus!
Now it gets really crazy--and to post in detail would take forever. So here are the highlights. In past workshops, we've had shamanic journeys (you may prefer "guided meditations") to the sun and moon; this time, we visited Venus. The connection to the voice here is this: Many contemporary sound healers are interested in the esoteric concept of the Hathors, who are allegedly interdimensional beings who often communicate through tones and chanting. Tom Kenyon is the most well-known "channel," if you will.

Well, the Hathors apparently live on Venus, so we paid a visit. Yeah, this is where it got bizarre for me, and more about that in another post.

Suffice to say, my first journey was uneventful. The second was interesting, and several themes or messages kept coming up. Earlier in the day, I realized I was taking this all too literally--just like I did when I was a Christian. Big mistake. I was attracted to paganism and shamanism because of the opportunity to "play," and by that I mean bring joy back into my spiritual practice.

In my journey, I had quite a conversation with another "being" about the nature of reality, what is real and what isn't. Is love real? Is all the money in your 401K real? Is God real? Then I was directed to what turned out to be Chinese shadow puppet theater. Now, I 've never seen one of these in real life, but it showed up on Venus!

Here's a nice video; I enjoy the old-fashioned elegance.

So what does his have to do with anything? Play! Those images in the puppet theater aren't real, but they pull us in, teach us lessons and inspire us. Just like going to the movies today or when watching television. And the woo-woo part? When we were all done, the very first person who shared about their journey said she had received the very same message! What are the chances?

Ceremony in Sound
The last major highlight was our final "blessing ceremony." Each workshop has ended with one, but this one was particularly moving. We were seated in a semicircle, facing the two facilitators. We were to close our eyes and hum a particular tone while soothing music played in the background. At random, an assistant would bring us forward. In the meantime, assistants would come by and use tuning forks to tone a "perfect fifth" by our ears. They also moved around the room ringing chimes. As each of us went forward, we hugged the facilitators and hummed "ah" together. Just all these sounds blending together was entrancing and enchanting.

The facilitators also gave each of us a blue aquamarine stone to represent the throat chakra, and then spoke a special word to us. Mine were: "wise" and "this is real."

I forgot to mention that seated nearby were 5 other participants. They happened to have either the astrological sign of Pisces or--oh, darn, I forget! Anyway, there's apparently 2 zodiac signs that are allegedly clairaudient, meaning they can hear sounds or words from other sources. Woo-woo! So if any one of these 5 had a special word for us, they were to present it before we took our seat. As I stood there, all 5 embraced me in turn. Now, I don't remember anything specific, but it was all loving and quite inspirational.

In fact, when I got back to my seat, emotions swirled and bubbled to the surface. I felt I was going to burst into tears, from exhaustion, love and a feeling that I was on the right path. It seemed so much had led me here, so many things had come together, pointing the way. I kept it together, mostly, a few sniffles. As I sat there, eyes closed, drinking it all in, an assistant or two quietly approached from behind and whispered, "You are loved" and "You are music to the universe."

If you read this far, thank you! I'm sending good vibes your way! There was so much more in my weekend, but these were the best parts. Stay tuned for what I didn't like.

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Vibrations, Venus and Voice--or, What I Liked

Last weekend I attended the 5th in a series of 7 shamanic workshops through a local teacher. These weekends seem to be growing in intensity, and it's difficult at times to communicate what I've experienced. Wish I could just do a Vulcan mind-meld! So I'll split this into 2 posts: here, what I liked, and later, what I found challenging or just plain cuckoo.

Express Yourself
Since we're following the chakra system, this workshop focused on the throat chakra, which allegedly influences not just our breathing and voice but also our self-expression. I think my throat chakra was in good working order since I showed up wearing my kilt, eye liner and glittery nail polish! Hey, if you can't get bizarre during a shamanic weekend, when the hell can you? So we discussed the importance of speaking with integrity in life as well as how free expression helps us tap into our true selves and avoid the filters that our culture imposes upon us.

Here's a good video that explains it better than I can:


Do-Re-Mi!
From there, we discussed the various ways the voice is used in singing, chanting, humming and so on, and how importance these kinds of expression are to every culture and religion. Things like Gregorian chants, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Tibetan throat chanting--things we take for granted but which by their very sound have the ability to inspire us, change us. How is this possible? Why does it work? Herein lies the power of the throat chakra--and the power of sound.

Good Vibrations
It's not just a Beach Boys song! We have all kinds of slang for how sound affects us: "good vibes," "striking the right chord," "being in tune" and so on. So just take a little shamanic jump--and welcome to the world of sound healing. It's the theory that certain sounds can affect us physically, even heal us, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I know how easy it is for a favorite pop song to put me in a good mood, so I was game.

We played with various Tibetan bells, chimes and--my favorite--the singing bowls. They produce such lovely, entrancing sounds. Just listening calms me down. But can it heal cancer? Well.... Anyway, the idea was to reconsider how sounds affect us and how beneficial they can be.

The really fun part was when we began using tuning forks. Here the idea is that each chakra corresponds to a different octave. So get a set of tuning forks and get to work! We paired up, one person lying on a massage table while the other person activated various tuning forks and then placed them by the ears. It was interesting to note the physical reactions I had to each fork and its corresponding tone. For example, the "E" fork, corresponding to the solar plexus chakra, felt very calming and stabilizing to me. Both the "A" and "B" forks, corresponding to the third eye and crown chakras, literally made me twitch and tremble, as if something inside was being shifted into place.

Here's a good brief explanation of why this is supposed to work. No endorsement but just liked the explanation. There are also special tuning forks that produce the "om" sound and forks that, when activated and place on a bony part of the body, are supposed to enhance healing. That exercise certainly was soothing. I'm sure plenty of skeptics would call this nonsense, but I wouldn't mind purchasing a set of forks and playing around with them, just to see what happens.

All Aboard for Venus!
Now it gets really crazy--and to post in detail would take forever. So here are the highlights. In past workshops, we've had shamanic journeys (you may prefer "guided meditations") to the sun and moon; this time, we visited Venus. The connection to the voice here is this: Many contemporary sound healers are interested in the esoteric concept of the Hathors, who are allegedly interdimensional beings who often communicate through tones and chanting. Tom Kenyon is the most well-known "channel," if you will.

Well, the Hathors apparently live on Venus, so we paid a visit. Yeah, this is where it got bizarre for me, and more about that in another post.

Suffice to say, my first journey was uneventful. The second was interesting, and several themes or messages kept coming up. Earlier in the day, I realized I was taking this all too literally--just like I did when I was a Christian. Big mistake. I was attracted to paganism and shamanism because of the opportunity to "play," and by that I mean bring joy back into my spiritual practice.

In my journey, I had quite a conversation with another "being" about the nature of reality, what is real and what isn't. Is love real? Is all the money in your 401K real? Is God real? Then I was directed to what turned out to be Chinese shadow puppet theater. Now, I 've never seen one of these in real life, but it showed up on Venus!

Here's a nice video; I enjoy the old-fashioned elegance.

So what does his have to do with anything? Play! Those images in the puppet theater aren't real, but they pull us in, teach us lessons and inspire us. Just like going to the movies today or when watching television. And the woo-woo part? When we were all done, the very first person who shared about their journey said she had received the very same message! What are the chances?

Ceremony in Sound
The last major highlight was our final "blessing ceremony." Each workshop has ended with one, but this one was particularly moving. We were seated in a semicircle, facing the two facilitators. We were to close our eyes and hum a particular tone while soothing music played in the background. At random, an assistant would bring us forward. In the meantime, assistants would come by and use tuning forks to tone a "perfect fifth" by our ears. They also moved around the room ringing chimes. As each of us went forward, we hugged the facilitators and hummed "ah" together. Just all these sounds blending together was entrancing and enchanting.

The facilitators also gave each of us a blue aquamarine stone to represent the throat chakra, and then spoke a special word to us. Mine were: "wise" and "this is real."

I forgot to mention that seated nearby were 5 other participants. They happened to have either the astrological sign of Pisces or--oh, darn, I forget! Anyway, there's apparently 2 zodiac signs that are allegedly clairaudient, meaning they can hear sounds or words from other sources. Woo-woo! So if any one of these 5 had a special word for us, they were to present it before we took our seat. As I stood there, all 5 embraced me in turn. Now, I don't remember anything specific, but it was all loving and quite inspirational.

In fact, when I got back to my seat, emotions swirled and bubbled to the surface. I felt I was going to burst into tears, from exhaustion, love and a feeling that I was on the right path. It seemed so much had led me here, so many things had come together, pointing the way. I kept it together, mostly, a few sniffles. As I sat there, eyes closed, drinking it all in, an assistant or two quietly approached from behind and whispered, "You are loved" and "You are music to the universe."

If you read this far, thank you! I'm sending good vibes your way! There was so much more in my weekend, but these were the best parts. Stay tuned for what I didn't like.

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."

Can Shamanism Help Your Sex Life?

(both "Desert Shaman" photos by Greg Day)

I haven't posted about any shamanic work lately. No workshop this month, or for the next 2, but I have conducted a few solo journeys. But nothing too dramatic or insightful to report. I'm attempting to journey more frequently and explore this path more deeply, however. Some may consider what I do crazy, but I'm always at peace after a journey and, in general, these experiences allow me to explore parts of my spirit that are too often neglected.

Made time for 2 journeys this weekend, and I wanted to experiment and see what would occur if I journeyed with a specific goal in mind. The last couple of journeys were a bit frustrating since my mind kept wandering and not much "happened." So, here's where the sex comes in. My partner and I still haven't been intimate in a long while. We were going to couple's counseling, but we've had to put that on hold for financial reasons. So there's been some discussion about sex but not enough to make any difference.

And the lack of sex is becoming a real problem. At this point, I'm open to any solution, but my partner doesn't seem all that concerned either way. I know there are any number of ways to handle this in the real world--but I wanted to see what insights I might get on a shamanic journey. Why not? I wanted to see what my subconscious would cough up, what images and metaphors might tumble out if I could trick my everyday defenses.

In order to do so, I decided to conduct a Lowerworld journey and work there with my spirit guides Wolf and Vulture. Hopefully they would guide me to some insights.

I won't give too many details about the journeys themselves since they were quite similar and relatively short. I followed my usual approach, a drumming CD playing with me lying on the floor of a dark room. I began the journey by entering the woods here at my home and going to the Circle in the Grove. There's a fallen tree nearby, and some small animal has dug out a burrow there. So I kneel down and shimmy inside.

The Lowerworld landscape is familiar: lush, green hills barren of trees but shrouded in fog and marked here and there with large rocks and boulders. Very much like the photo here, of Ireland (photo below by Donncha Caoimh).

My first journey was a little freaky kinky at first. As soon as I emerged, I began to shift into wolf form, and then my spirit wolf appeared nearby from among some trees. We approached each other and began to circle and sniff--as if we were about to have wild wolf sex! But wait a minute, I thought, is this "supposed" to be happening? Am I doing this right? And, whoa, is this bestiality?

Well, I never got to find out because my partner interrupted by knocking on the door and asking for something.

First Lesson: I need to politely ask him not to knock if the door's closed and remind him that it is frustrating when these sessions get interrupted like that. But I also learned that I could have simply ignored his knock. Instead I opened the door and acted like nothing was wrong. Why? Because I'm insecure of what he thinks about my shamanic work. I'm also fearful of what he would say if I explained it all in great detail. And I was also afraid of an argument. It's obvious that I do need to ask more for what I need, whether that's time to journey uninterrupted--or sex. I know this, of course, but to ask for sex doesn't necessarily lead to it. Yet I can certainly ask more. If nothing else, it would force this issue more out into the open.

Which is where it needs to be. Our relationship won't last much longer if we keep sweeping all these sexual issues under the rug.

Fortunately on the second journey, I wasn't interrupted. I had plenty of time in the morning before he woke up. As I entered the Lowerworld, however, I sensed great impatience within. This time I didn't shapeshift but sat quietly the ground. Wolf approached silently and sat, and Vulture also flew down to land on a nearby boulder. All was silent, yet I shared with them my spiritual and emotional fatigue. This weary shaman needed strength.

Then it occurred to me to dance. Wolf and Vulture moved back, and I rose and began to engage in the coolest, wildest dance. I stomped and spun, and I could see I was wearing some sort of arm bands and anklets made of long strands of grass. I wore one around my neck, too. I was naked (as usual) except for some sort of grassy covering around my waist.

Best of all were the emotions. If felt great to extend my body in this way, to follow the CD drumbeat, to bend and stretch and move. As I danced, Wolf and Vulture moved around me clockwise in a circle. I felt free as I danced, not ashamed of my body or of exposing it. I felt strong and handsome and sexual.

And then it was time to end. Second Lesson: I somehow need to find confidence in myself sexually, physically, emotionally. Oh sure, piece of cake. I know these lessons and experiences are all telling me what I already know, but it's good to have this affirmed in a roundabout way, when I'm not expecting it or necessarily even thinking about them.

So how do I build sexual confidence and strength? I mean, it's kind of embarrassing to even ask that question. Our society tells us we're supposed to know it all, right? Sex is such a powerful force and most of us are so lacking in how to use it well and wisely. I don't want this sexual frustration to win. I want to channel that energy to make things better somehow, if possible. It sounds odd to admit, but I need to work on my sexuality. And no, I can't afford any fancy workshops or counseling. Instead, I'm going to have dig deep inside and see what I'm made of, on my own, at least to start.

Has anyone else out there done any sexual work like this or found a particularly spiritual approach to handling sexual energy?

Can Shamanism Help Your Sex Life?

(both "Desert Shaman" photos by Greg Day)

I haven't posted about any shamanic work lately. No workshop this month, or for the next 2, but I have conducted a few solo journeys. But nothing too dramatic or insightful to report. I'm attempting to journey more frequently and explore this path more deeply, however. Some may consider what I do crazy, but I'm always at peace after a journey and, in general, these experiences allow me to explore parts of my spirit that are too often neglected.

Made time for 2 journeys this weekend, and I wanted to experiment and see what would occur if I journeyed with a specific goal in mind. The last couple of journeys were a bit frustrating since my mind kept wandering and not much "happened." So, here's where the sex comes in. My partner and I still haven't been intimate in a long while. We were going to couple's counseling, but we've had to put that on hold for financial reasons. So there's been some discussion about sex but not enough to make any difference.

And the lack of sex is becoming a real problem. At this point, I'm open to any solution, but my partner doesn't seem all that concerned either way. I know there are any number of ways to handle this in the real world--but I wanted to see what insights I might get on a shamanic journey. Why not? I wanted to see what my subconscious would cough up, what images and metaphors might tumble out if I could trick my everyday defenses.

In order to do so, I decided to conduct a Lowerworld journey and work there with my spirit guides Wolf and Vulture. Hopefully they would guide me to some insights.

I won't give too many details about the journeys themselves since they were quite similar and relatively short. I followed my usual approach, a drumming CD playing with me lying on the floor of a dark room. I began the journey by entering the woods here at my home and going to the Circle in the Grove. There's a fallen tree nearby, and some small animal has dug out a burrow there. So I kneel down and shimmy inside.

The Lowerworld landscape is familiar: lush, green hills barren of trees but shrouded in fog and marked here and there with large rocks and boulders. Very much like the photo here, of Ireland (photo below by Donncha Caoimh).

My first journey was a little freaky kinky at first. As soon as I emerged, I began to shift into wolf form, and then my spirit wolf appeared nearby from among some trees. We approached each other and began to circle and sniff--as if we were about to have wild wolf sex! But wait a minute, I thought, is this "supposed" to be happening? Am I doing this right? And, whoa, is this bestiality?

Well, I never got to find out because my partner interrupted by knocking on the door and asking for something.

First Lesson: I need to politely ask him not to knock if the door's closed and remind him that it is frustrating when these sessions get interrupted like that. But I also learned that I could have simply ignored his knock. Instead I opened the door and acted like nothing was wrong. Why? Because I'm insecure of what he thinks about my shamanic work. I'm also fearful of what he would say if I explained it all in great detail. And I was also afraid of an argument. It's obvious that I do need to ask more for what I need, whether that's time to journey uninterrupted--or sex. I know this, of course, but to ask for sex doesn't necessarily lead to it. Yet I can certainly ask more. If nothing else, it would force this issue more out into the open.

Which is where it needs to be. Our relationship won't last much longer if we keep sweeping all these sexual issues under the rug.

Fortunately on the second journey, I wasn't interrupted. I had plenty of time in the morning before he woke up. As I entered the Lowerworld, however, I sensed great impatience within. This time I didn't shapeshift but sat quietly the ground. Wolf approached silently and sat, and Vulture also flew down to land on a nearby boulder. All was silent, yet I shared with them my spiritual and emotional fatigue. This weary shaman needed strength.

Then it occurred to me to dance. Wolf and Vulture moved back, and I rose and began to engage in the coolest, wildest dance. I stomped and spun, and I could see I was wearing some sort of arm bands and anklets made of long strands of grass. I wore one around my neck, too. I was naked (as usual) except for some sort of grassy covering around my waist.

Best of all were the emotions. If felt great to extend my body in this way, to follow the CD drumbeat, to bend and stretch and move. As I danced, Wolf and Vulture moved around me clockwise in a circle. I felt free as I danced, not ashamed of my body or of exposing it. I felt strong and handsome and sexual.

And then it was time to end. Second Lesson: I somehow need to find confidence in myself sexually, physically, emotionally. Oh sure, piece of cake. I know these lessons and experiences are all telling me what I already know, but it's good to have this affirmed in a roundabout way, when I'm not expecting it or necessarily even thinking about them.

So how do I build sexual confidence and strength? I mean, it's kind of embarrassing to even ask that question. Our society tells us we're supposed to know it all, right? Sex is such a powerful force and most of us are so lacking in how to use it well and wisely. I don't want this sexual frustration to win. I want to channel that energy to make things better somehow, if possible. It sounds odd to admit, but I need to work on my sexuality. And no, I can't afford any fancy workshops or counseling. Instead, I'm going to have dig deep inside and see what I'm made of, on my own, at least to start.

Has anyone else out there done any sexual work like this or found a particularly spiritual approach to handling sexual energy?

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Am I a Spiritual Warrior From Atlantis?

So my latest shamanic workshop was this past weekend. It was centered around the solar plexus chakra and focused on spiritual power or our tasks as spiritual warriors. We explored energy fields, qi gong and tai chi, as well as basic "warrior" skills, including self-defense, some martial arts and plan old body language. What I love about these workshops is the merging on ordinary, mundane things, like body language, and its application on a spiritual level. For example, instead of reading someone's body language to get ahead in the corporate world, as I was always taught, how about reading the signs to better understand someone and connect with them spiritually? Sounds good to me.

Oh yeah, and I totally broke a pine board with my foot! I've never had any martial arts training at all, and it was a piece of cake. Essentially, you focus your energy beyond the board--sort of like in "The Matrix" when Neo is told "there is no spoon." Couldn't break the concrete paver, however, but a few other folks did. I'll break it next time!

So I'm still skeptical about a lot of this stuff, but I will say this, after these workshops, I feel so much more centered, calm and authentically me than on any other day. Except maybe when I'm writing.

So What's This About Atlantis?
Oh yeah, I mentioned Atlantis. Here's where it gets really freaky. I promise I'm not on drugs! On the second day we sat outside in a semi-circle for our "journey to the sun" (the sun being associated with warrior energy as well as fire and the solar plexus chakra). Beyond that, I'm not really sure why we were going to the sun, but what the hell, sounds like fun.

The facilitator drums and leads us into the journey. I'll skip the details, but we basically travel into the center of the sun where there is located a transportation hub of sorts, something like an airport terminal. We were told there were portals to other worlds and dimensions here, and to select one to enter and travel. Now, let me say I've never attempted this type of journey before, and we weren't told to expect any specific kind of experience whatsoever. Yet what I did experience was quite surprising and emotional.

With my eyes closed and imagining myself in this terminal, I see one portal that stand out (nothing special about it visually, however). So I approach and enter, and suddenly find myself sucked into some sort of water tube, as if a giant Hawaiian wave has crashed over me and pulled me under, churning the surf all around. I come up in a great, blue ocean as far as the eye can see. Two beings like the "Creature from the Black Lagoon" appear carrying tridents, and I assume they were some sort of sentry for the portal. They don't speak but I somehow understand this.

Next, schools of dolphins and colorful fish swim up to me, as if they're a welcoming party. Without any hesitation, I dive under the water and begin to swim with them as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And I can breathe underwater!

Then come the very real emotions, which I was not prepared for. I felt like I was some place very familiar, a place I knew but hadn't seen in a long, long time. It all felt to right, so comforting--the swimming, the creatures, the water. I knew how to do it all and I "knew" I belonged there.

Before I describe more of what I saw, let me add a little backstory that makes this freakier.

• As a kid, swimming was one thing I loved the most, and I've never been afraid of water or the ocean.
• Breathing underwater was always the one "super power" I wanted.
• Aquaman, Sub Mariner were my favorite super heroes.
  
• I was obsessed with dolphins as a kid. I loved shows like "Flipper" and "The Man From Atlantis."
  
• I went to a college hundreds of miles away from my home where I knew no one--the campus was 15 minutes from the beach, located next to a river, and our mascot was a dolphin.
• I once dreamed of being a marine biologist and even wrote a fictional story about one. Also once considered being in the Coast Guard.
  
• A recurring dream from my childhood had me under water in some sort of vessel and surrounded by fantastic sea creatures.
  

Back to the journey. I'm swimming with the fishes, and then we pass over this reef. A giant underwater city appears and we approach. I'm amazed at how elegant all the structures are and how colorful everything is. We enter this corridor and then I'm led by 2 mermen through a building. I keep asking where we are but no one answers. When I finally ask, "Is this Atlantis?" they say, "It goes by many names."

I have no idea where they're taking me, but we soon enter this giant indoor stadium or great hall, ringed with people in seats. There's such a commotion, and I wonder what it's all about. One tall being approaches, dressed in elegant robes and carrying a sceptre. I can't tell if it's a man or a woman, very androgynous. Without speaking, I ask (telepathically?) what this celebration is all about. Without much explanation, the being smiles and says "welcome home."

A garland of sea grass or some other green underwater plant is placed around my neck and I'm given an object that appears silver or metal. It's carved or sculpted, but I don't recognize the design. It's small, just fits in my hand.

Then I realize it's time for me to return to Earth. I'm mostly surprised and perplexed by all this, still feeling the very real emotions of returning to a familiar place. I'm told I can return again any time, but it seems I have things to do on Earth right now. So I'm escorted back out of the hall by the mermen and then make my way back to the portal.

Seriously, as I experienced this, I almost broke out in tears. The facilitator didn't interpret our experiences, but others said it could be this place was my true homeworld or dimension. And yes, it could have been Atlantis. But come on--none of that is real! So why was I about to blubber over some imaginary dolphins? And why did I envision an underwater world as opposed to, say, a medieval kingdom on Earth? Why the ocean theme?

I can't explain any of it. If anyone reading this has had similar experiences or even heard about something like this, let me know. Maybe I just accessed some subconscious emotions or needs, and this is how they manifested. I promise you, no alcohol, drugs, not even caffeine, were involved in this experience! In the end, I'm not quite sure what to do with all this info. I probably need to email the workshop facilitator and get his input, and do some reading and online research. I'll keep you posted on any interesting findings!

Latest Shamanic Weekend: Am I a Spiritual Warrior From Atlantis?

So my latest shamanic workshop was this past weekend. It was centered around the solar plexus chakra and focused on spiritual power or our tasks as spiritual warriors. We explored energy fields, qi gong and tai chi, as well as basic "warrior" skills, including self-defense, some martial arts and plan old body language. What I love about these workshops is the merging on ordinary, mundane things, like body language, and its application on a spiritual level. For example, instead of reading someone's body language to get ahead in the corporate world, as I was always taught, how about reading the signs to better understand someone and connect with them spiritually? Sounds good to me.

Oh yeah, and I totally broke a pine board with my foot! I've never had any martial arts training at all, and it was a piece of cake. Essentially, you focus your energy beyond the board--sort of like in "The Matrix" when Neo is told "there is no spoon." Couldn't break the concrete paver, however, but a few other folks did. I'll break it next time!

So I'm still skeptical about a lot of this stuff, but I will say this, after these workshops, I feel so much more centered, calm and authentically me than on any other day. Except maybe when I'm writing.

So What's This About Atlantis?
Oh yeah, I mentioned Atlantis. Here's where it gets really freaky. I promise I'm not on drugs! On the second day we sat outside in a semi-circle for our "journey to the sun" (the sun being associated with warrior energy as well as fire and the solar plexus chakra). Beyond that, I'm not really sure why we were going to the sun, but what the hell, sounds like fun.

The facilitator drums and leads us into the journey. I'll skip the details, but we basically travel into the center of the sun where there is located a transportation hub of sorts, something like an airport terminal. We were told there were portals to other worlds and dimensions here, and to select one to enter and travel. Now, let me say I've never attempted this type of journey before, and we weren't told to expect any specific kind of experience whatsoever. Yet what I did experience was quite surprising and emotional.

With my eyes closed and imagining myself in this terminal, I see one portal that stand out (nothing special about it visually, however). So I approach and enter, and suddenly find myself sucked into some sort of water tube, as if a giant Hawaiian wave has crashed over me and pulled me under, churning the surf all around. I come up in a great, blue ocean as far as the eye can see. Two beings like the "Creature from the Black Lagoon" appear carrying tridents, and I assume they were some sort of sentry for the portal. They don't speak but I somehow understand this.

Next, schools of dolphins and colorful fish swim up to me, as if they're a welcoming party. Without any hesitation, I dive under the water and begin to swim with them as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And I can breathe underwater!

Then come the very real emotions, which I was not prepared for. I felt like I was some place very familiar, a place I knew but hadn't seen in a long, long time. It all felt to right, so comforting--the swimming, the creatures, the water. I knew how to do it all and I "knew" I belonged there.

Before I describe more of what I saw, let me add a little backstory that makes this freakier.

• As a kid, swimming was one thing I loved the most, and I've never been afraid of water or the ocean.
• Breathing underwater was always the one "super power" I wanted.
• Aquaman, Sub Mariner were my favorite super heroes.
  
• I was obsessed with dolphins as a kid. I loved shows like "Flipper" and "The Man From Atlantis."
  
• I went to a college hundreds of miles away from my home where I knew no one--the campus was 15 minutes from the beach, located next to a river, and our mascot was a dolphin.
• I once dreamed of being a marine biologist and even wrote a fictional story about one. Also once considered being in the Coast Guard.
  
• A recurring dream from my childhood had me under water in some sort of vessel and surrounded by fantastic sea creatures.
  

Back to the journey. I'm swimming with the fishes, and then we pass over this reef. A giant underwater city appears and we approach. I'm amazed at how elegant all the structures are and how colorful everything is. We enter this corridor and then I'm led by 2 mermen through a building. I keep asking where we are but no one answers. When I finally ask, "Is this Atlantis?" they say, "It goes by many names."

I have no idea where they're taking me, but we soon enter this giant indoor stadium or great hall, ringed with people in seats. There's such a commotion, and I wonder what it's all about. One tall being approaches, dressed in elegant robes and carrying a sceptre. I can't tell if it's a man or a woman, very androgynous. Without speaking, I ask (telepathically?) what this celebration is all about. Without much explanation, the being smiles and says "welcome home."

A garland of sea grass or some other green underwater plant is placed around my neck and I'm given an object that appears silver or metal. It's carved or sculpted, but I don't recognize the design. It's small, just fits in my hand.

Then I realize it's time for me to return to Earth. I'm mostly surprised and perplexed by all this, still feeling the very real emotions of returning to a familiar place. I'm told I can return again any time, but it seems I have things to do on Earth right now. So I'm escorted back out of the hall by the mermen and then make my way back to the portal.

Seriously, as I experienced this, I almost broke out in tears. The facilitator didn't interpret our experiences, but others said it could be this place was my true homeworld or dimension. And yes, it could have been Atlantis. But come on--none of that is real! So why was I about to blubber over some imaginary dolphins? And why did I envision an underwater world as opposed to, say, a medieval kingdom on Earth? Why the ocean theme?

I can't explain any of it. If anyone reading this has had similar experiences or even heard about something like this, let me know. Maybe I just accessed some subconscious emotions or needs, and this is how they manifested. I promise you, no alcohol, drugs, not even caffeine, were involved in this experience! In the end, I'm not quite sure what to do with all this info. I probably need to email the workshop facilitator and get his input, and do some reading and online research. I'll keep you posted on any interesting findings!

Shamanic Retreat This Weekend

I'm excited to report that I'm headed to a shamanic retreat this weekend, and I found it right here in my little backwater of a city. It's all day Saturday and Sunday, so I don't expect to post anything until next week.

The topics and practices will apparently cover everything from elemental energies, earth science, chakra activation and tai chi to Hawaiian pikopiko breathing--whatever the hell that is. Sure, sounds loony, but I can't wait. I loves me some loony.

We're also heading up to a local mountain/state park for some activities. Should be a nice setting. Hopefully we won't frighten the natives. I'll let you know how it all goes.


art by Pablo Amaringo