Dolly Parton: "Change It!"

Found this over at Wicked Gay Blog. It's a new song by Dolly--and no, not Country at all. It sums up so much of what's been going on in my life recently, but with an upbeat, positive spin as only Dolly can do.

And I want Dolly's sparkly blue parasol!

Not sure why she's shaving a guy's head, however...

Dolly Parton: "Change It!"

Found this over at Wicked Gay Blog. It's a new song by Dolly--and no, not Country at all. It sums up so much of what's been going on in my life recently, but with an upbeat, positive spin as only Dolly can do.

And I want Dolly's sparkly blue parasol!

Not sure why she's shaving a guy's head, however...

Boys of Summer #8: Postcard from the Philippines

I stumbled across a blog about gay life in the Philippines, called Truevali, where I found these 2 good-looking fellas. I like the one of the left best. Truth be told, my taste in men veers toward the non-white. Of course, 'round these parts it's mostly lily white! Hmmm, a beach in the Phillippines is looking really good right about now!

Boys of Summer #8: Postcard from the Philippines

I stumbled across a blog about gay life in the Philippines, called Truevali, where I found these 2 good-looking fellas. I like the one of the left best. Truth be told, my taste in men veers toward the non-white. Of course, 'round these parts it's mostly lily white! Hmmm, a beach in the Phillippines is looking really good right about now!

First Night in the New Apartment & a Movie

Yesterday I got everything moved into the new place, and spent my first night there. Fortunately, I had plenty of help from some great friends, as well as 1 or 2 folks I barely know who also pitched in. We were done by lunchtime, and the rest of the day was spent getting a shower curtain and a few essentials. Let me say that living as a couple is SO much cheaper! Damn, I need all sorts of little crap, and all of that adds up fast! But I'm trying to be frugal and accept help from friends as well as haunting yard sales and other cheaper sources for household items.

So I wasn't alone on this stressful day, I met 2 friends for dinner and a movie. My partner, however, simply chose to stay home by himself. Not my style, obviously, but he's got to work through this in his own way--and I have to respect that. We saw Inglourious Basterds--great film! Tarantino does it again. Funny, poignant and full of suspense all at the same time. However, he could've cut out some dialogue in a few scenes that seemed to drag on and on. Curiously, I think most of the movie is in subtitles (characters speak mostly French and German), which is tricky with American audiences. But if anyone can pull it off, Tarantino can.

But toward the end, my mind drifted to the split with my partner, and I was ready for star Brad Pitt to kill his last Nazi so I could go home. And when I got home, I bawled my eyes out over and over. This sucks--it isn't what I hoped for or dreamed of. My partner and I had so many plans together, and I really miss my home and the Grove. But I got through the night ok, and so I keep just putting one foot in front of the other. This morning I did some quickie yoga, lots of shamanic breathing and took a short walk. Tonight I'm actually having dinner with my partner, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know where this will go. I'm scared, but I also know we both have to experience this. I already feel like I'm learning important lessons. I'd share them but things need to settle a bit first. My emotions are still pretty raw and conflicted. But I'm here!

First Night in the New Apartment & a Movie

Yesterday I got everything moved into the new place, and spent my first night there. Fortunately, I had plenty of help from some great friends, as well as 1 or 2 folks I barely know who also pitched in. We were done by lunchtime, and the rest of the day was spent getting a shower curtain and a few essentials. Let me say that living as a couple is SO much cheaper! Damn, I need all sorts of little crap, and all of that adds up fast! But I'm trying to be frugal and accept help from friends as well as haunting yard sales and other cheaper sources for household items.

So I wasn't alone on this stressful day, I met 2 friends for dinner and a movie. My partner, however, simply chose to stay home by himself. Not my style, obviously, but he's got to work through this in his own way--and I have to respect that. We saw Inglourious Basterds--great film! Tarantino does it again. Funny, poignant and full of suspense all at the same time. However, he could've cut out some dialogue in a few scenes that seemed to drag on and on. Curiously, I think most of the movie is in subtitles (characters speak mostly French and German), which is tricky with American audiences. But if anyone can pull it off, Tarantino can.

But toward the end, my mind drifted to the split with my partner, and I was ready for star Brad Pitt to kill his last Nazi so I could go home. And when I got home, I bawled my eyes out over and over. This sucks--it isn't what I hoped for or dreamed of. My partner and I had so many plans together, and I really miss my home and the Grove. But I got through the night ok, and so I keep just putting one foot in front of the other. This morning I did some quickie yoga, lots of shamanic breathing and took a short walk. Tonight I'm actually having dinner with my partner, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know where this will go. I'm scared, but I also know we both have to experience this. I already feel like I'm learning important lessons. I'd share them but things need to settle a bit first. My emotions are still pretty raw and conflicted. But I'm here!

Artist Ahmad Nadalian

 This Iranian artist works in ways that resonate with me: carving images of fish and other creatures into rocks and leaving them as "gifts" to the waters or to be discovered by passersby. He also carves stone cylinders with similar images (above) and uses them like a printing press in the sand, leaving behind on a beach, for example, an image of a crab that will soon be washed away by the surf.

Nadalian adds that fish and snakes are often seen as symbols of fertility and treasure in parts of Iran. He says that his art gives him a way to help "heal the spirit of neglected streams and coastlines" around the world.

Find more artists that work with the Earth at greenmuseum.org.

Artist Ahmad Nadalian

 This Iranian artist works in ways that resonate with me: carving images of fish and other creatures into rocks and leaving them as "gifts" to the waters or to be discovered by passersby. He also carves stone cylinders with similar images (above) and uses them like a printing press in the sand, leaving behind on a beach, for example, an image of a crab that will soon be washed away by the surf.

Nadalian adds that fish and snakes are often seen as symbols of fertility and treasure in parts of Iran. He says that his art gives him a way to help "heal the spirit of neglected streams and coastlines" around the world.

Find more artists that work with the Earth at greenmuseum.org.

Beer and Baklava: It Does a Body Good!

Beer and baklava may sound like a bizarre combo, but it was just the thing to hit the spot after moving my first truckload of stuff to the new apartment. Moving this first load was unbelievably difficult, but it's done. So I met 2 good friends afterwards and rewarded myself with the beverage and the sweet treat.

Sorry I don't have much more to talk about except the breakup and the move, but that is my life at the moment. But I will one day get back to politics, celebrities and spiritual musings. I'm also way behind on reading my own favorite blogs. Anyway, all things in good time.

And of course, thanks for stopping by!

Beer and Baklava: It Does a Body Good!

Beer and baklava may sound like a bizarre combo, but it was just the thing to hit the spot after moving my first truckload of stuff to the new apartment. Moving this first load was unbelievably difficult, but it's done. So I met 2 good friends afterwards and rewarded myself with the beverage and the sweet treat.

Sorry I don't have much more to talk about except the breakup and the move, but that is my life at the moment. But I will one day get back to politics, celebrities and spiritual musings. I'm also way behind on reading my own favorite blogs. Anyway, all things in good time.

And of course, thanks for stopping by!

Art to Soothe the Soul

This artwork is by a friend of a friend, and it's become lodged in my noggin of late. I find it calming and meditative--and beautiful, which is the exact opposite of how I feel right now. With all the emotional turmoil in my life, I'm trying to focus on the positive, trying to find some clarity. These works of art help. I hope you enjoy these few here, but click this link to Judi Malone's web site for more.

Art to Soothe the Soul

This artwork is by a friend of a friend, and it's become lodged in my noggin of late. I find it calming and meditative--and beautiful, which is the exact opposite of how I feel right now. With all the emotional turmoil in my life, I'm trying to focus on the positive, trying to find some clarity. These works of art help. I hope you enjoy these few here, but click this link to Judi Malone's web site for more.

A Blessing ... and a Curse?

Yesterday I had a friend stop by my new apartment to offer a ritual blessing. I thought it was best to bless it before all the furniture and clutter arrived; don't know why, just felt that way. He's one of the guys who completed the Shamanic Mystery School with me, and each time I would think about the blessing in my mind, I kept seeing him offering it. It was really simple, just going through each room with all doors and cabinets open, as he toned with a Tibetan bell. Very nice sound and feel. I also needed to interview him for this project I'm working on, so 2 birds with 1 stone.

Now to the "curse" part, and please take this tongue-in-cheek. No REAL curses here. Well, I just think maybe my relationship to my partner is cursed--as in poison, toxic. The thought of actually packing and moving furniture, clothes, books and feels like more than I can handle. My gut is all in knots and I can't stop bawling my eyes out. I suppose this was stupid, what I did next, but last night I turned to my partner in a vulnerable moment, just for a hug. We started to talk, but then I guess I said something that I shouldn't have, something that was honest but stupid. Naturally, that hurt his feelings. So then he said something, something that was also honest and true--but I took it as a slap in the face. And the moment was ruined.

At least the tears dried up fast! I sat there thinking we're completely toxic for each other right now. We can't seem to talk or do anything without hurting or taking advantage of the other. And even the love we feel for one another is suffocating and controlling, on both sides. Of course, this is just my perspective, and frankly, I don't trust myself anymore. And when you hear someone say, "I love you," and you don't even know how to respond, that love has become a curse.

A Blessing ... and a Curse?

Yesterday I had a friend stop by my new apartment to offer a ritual blessing. I thought it was best to bless it before all the furniture and clutter arrived; don't know why, just felt that way. He's one of the guys who completed the Shamanic Mystery School with me, and each time I would think about the blessing in my mind, I kept seeing him offering it. It was really simple, just going through each room with all doors and cabinets open, as he toned with a Tibetan bell. Very nice sound and feel. I also needed to interview him for this project I'm working on, so 2 birds with 1 stone.

Now to the "curse" part, and please take this tongue-in-cheek. No REAL curses here. Well, I just think maybe my relationship to my partner is cursed--as in poison, toxic. The thought of actually packing and moving furniture, clothes, books and feels like more than I can handle. My gut is all in knots and I can't stop bawling my eyes out. I suppose this was stupid, what I did next, but last night I turned to my partner in a vulnerable moment, just for a hug. We started to talk, but then I guess I said something that I shouldn't have, something that was honest but stupid. Naturally, that hurt his feelings. So then he said something, something that was also honest and true--but I took it as a slap in the face. And the moment was ruined.

At least the tears dried up fast! I sat there thinking we're completely toxic for each other right now. We can't seem to talk or do anything without hurting or taking advantage of the other. And even the love we feel for one another is suffocating and controlling, on both sides. Of course, this is just my perspective, and frankly, I don't trust myself anymore. And when you hear someone say, "I love you," and you don't even know how to respond, that love has become a curse.

Boys of Summer #7: Mediterranean Man

Found of few pics of this guy enjoying the beach; I believe it's in Israel. Follow this link for more images.

Boys of Summer #7: Mediterranean Man

Found of few pics of this guy enjoying the beach; I believe it's in Israel. Follow this link for more images.

Movie Date Night!

Shock of all shocks, my partner asked me the other day if I'd like to go out on Friday night to see a movie! I about fell over! He never does this. Of course, he's being really good and trying to win me back now that I'm moving out. It might work, but there's a long way to go.

Still, I love movies, and I wanted to see "Julie and Julia," about the original celebrity chef, Julia Child. If you have a chance, go see it! It's funny, heartwarming and so well done. Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and Stanley Tucci are all wonderful.

The previews were also interesting. Seems there's a crop of films due out soon that will deal with marriage break-ups. It made me squirm a bit in my seat. But the 2 previews appear to be humorous, and it deals with couples that have been together for a while, just like my partner and I.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant star in "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" and Streep shows up again in "It's Complicated," along with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.

Yes, Meryl, it is indeed complicated!

Movie Date Night!

Shock of all shocks, my partner asked me the other day if I'd like to go out on Friday night to see a movie! I about fell over! He never does this. Of course, he's being really good and trying to win me back now that I'm moving out. It might work, but there's a long way to go.

Still, I love movies, and I wanted to see "Julie and Julia," about the original celebrity chef, Julia Child. If you have a chance, go see it! It's funny, heartwarming and so well done. Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and Stanley Tucci are all wonderful.

The previews were also interesting. Seems there's a crop of films due out soon that will deal with marriage break-ups. It made me squirm a bit in my seat. But the 2 previews appear to be humorous, and it deals with couples that have been together for a while, just like my partner and I.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant star in "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" and Streep shows up again in "It's Complicated," along with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.

Yes, Meryl, it is indeed complicated!

The Break-Up: A Hump Day Update

So I have the apartment, but I feel like I should already be all moved in--even though it hasn't yet been a week since I signed the lease! Guess I'm impatient. But I went by yesterday and did a good cleaning, which always makes me feel better. Found a few things that need attention, however, which I suppose is to be expected in an older apartment: kitchen sink won't drain, 1 of the smoke detectors doesn't work, loose deadbolt lock on front door, a broken window lock and toilet seat, and an AC that isn't cooling as it should. Hopefully, they'll be able to address these without me unhinging my jaw and devouring them all for a snack!

And I need to get a truck/help lined up for moving the big furniture. My friend Rebecca knows someone who might help (and she'll probably read this!)--but I don't when it's all going to happen. This weekend is full of prior commitments, and absolutely nothing is packed or ready to go.

Add to that that my partner is being really good, not drinking and cooperating with my ideas for splitting up the furniture, what to do with the house, etc. Makes me think that if we can work through all this, maybe there's hope yet. We'll see.

Through it all, I continue to try and listen to my heart, meditate when possible, look for the bigger picture, and accept the lessons that are coming my way. Just one question: Do I get a gold star when this is all over???

The Break-Up: A Hump Day Update

So I have the apartment, but I feel like I should already be all moved in--even though it hasn't yet been a week since I signed the lease! Guess I'm impatient. But I went by yesterday and did a good cleaning, which always makes me feel better. Found a few things that need attention, however, which I suppose is to be expected in an older apartment: kitchen sink won't drain, 1 of the smoke detectors doesn't work, loose deadbolt lock on front door, a broken window lock and toilet seat, and an AC that isn't cooling as it should. Hopefully, they'll be able to address these without me unhinging my jaw and devouring them all for a snack!

And I need to get a truck/help lined up for moving the big furniture. My friend Rebecca knows someone who might help (and she'll probably read this!)--but I don't when it's all going to happen. This weekend is full of prior commitments, and absolutely nothing is packed or ready to go.

Add to that that my partner is being really good, not drinking and cooperating with my ideas for splitting up the furniture, what to do with the house, etc. Makes me think that if we can work through all this, maybe there's hope yet. We'll see.

Through it all, I continue to try and listen to my heart, meditate when possible, look for the bigger picture, and accept the lessons that are coming my way. Just one question: Do I get a gold star when this is all over???

Pics of the New Apartment

If I can get the power turned on, I'll start moving some this week.

Here's the main street. Such beautiful old trees!

The photo below is taken from one of the rooms upstairs, but this shows the courtyard and how most of the exteriors look.

Living room, with front door and windows, and staircase. Kitchen is behind me, to the left.

This photo looks into one of the upstairs rooms.

I'm standing at my back door, looking over to my neighbor's entrance. Just enough space to plant a few things, have bird feeders and whatnot.

You can't see much in this photo, but this is looking across part of the park and the creek, toward the public ball fields.

Pics of the New Apartment

If I can get the power turned on, I'll start moving some this week.

Here's the main street. Such beautiful old trees!

The photo below is taken from one of the rooms upstairs, but this shows the courtyard and how most of the exteriors look.

Living room, with front door and windows, and staircase. Kitchen is behind me, to the left.

This photo looks into one of the upstairs rooms.

I'm standing at my back door, looking over to my neighbor's entrance. Just enough space to plant a few things, have bird feeders and whatnot.

You can't see much in this photo, but this is looking across part of the park and the creek, toward the public ball fields.

Saying Goodbye to Brandtlund Grove

The water level in the lake is down more than ever. Still no pics--and you don't want to see them anyway. It's rather shocking. And I can't help but use it as a metaphor for my relationship to my partner. As the lifegiving water has drained away or evaporated from the lake, so has the life drained out of our relationship and left me very little left to give.

I awoke before dawn today, and my mind eventually wandered to my morning walk. I realized that this weekend may be the last one in which I would have uninterrupted time to wander about the Grove. Although I'm not moving out tomorrow, I need to begin making the move to the new apartment, and so I'll have less and less time here.

As a way to thank the Grove for the transformation it has brought into my life, I decided to visit a few of my favorite spots and make a small offering of thanks. I walked to the clearing where I often see deer, the Stone Circle, Mother Tree, the pond and more special places. Of course, all space is sacred, but it seems these particular spots drew me in, welcomed me, calmed me when I needed it, and inspired me. At each one, I left an offering of tobacco and said "thank you" in Cherokee: "wah-doh."

When I was led to the Grove a few years ago, I had no idea of the spiritual transformations that would take place. I am not the same man, and I am so grateful. It was here that my wolf spirit guide came to me in a dream and I was given the name Riverwolf. In some ways, this place feels so magical, it's as if some mystical portal opened for just a short time and is now about to close. I know it's silly, but part of me wonders that if I return after some time passes--will it even be here? And maybe it was just my emotions, but even the light appeared different today; it was harsher, not as soft. And something in my vision seemed to be shifting, changing--like a digital TV signal that is weakening.

But just as I was led to Brandtlund Grove, so I am being led elsewhere. My new apartment is in a wonderful location with a large park to explore and a creek. Just as the Grove offered so many lessons, so will this new place. Perhaps my next task is to learn how to be an urban shaman or urban druid.

And I'll still be connected to Brandtlund, perhaps even physically. The lake here is actually a reservoir for the city in which I'll now be living. Whereas I currently use a well for my water, I'll now have city water--and perhaps some of it will originate from Brandtlund Grove, still nourishing me, still providing that life-giving water.

Saying Goodbye to Brandtlund Grove

The water level in the lake is down more than ever. Still no pics--and you don't want to see them anyway. It's rather shocking. And I can't help but use it as a metaphor for my relationship to my partner. As the lifegiving water has drained away or evaporated from the lake, so has the life drained out of our relationship and left me very little left to give.

I awoke before dawn today, and my mind eventually wandered to my morning walk. I realized that this weekend may be the last one in which I would have uninterrupted time to wander about the Grove. Although I'm not moving out tomorrow, I need to begin making the move to the new apartment, and so I'll have less and less time here.

As a way to thank the Grove for the transformation it has brought into my life, I decided to visit a few of my favorite spots and make a small offering of thanks. I walked to the clearing where I often see deer, the Stone Circle, Mother Tree, the pond and more special places. Of course, all space is sacred, but it seems these particular spots drew me in, welcomed me, calmed me when I needed it, and inspired me. At each one, I left an offering of tobacco and said "thank you" in Cherokee: "wah-doh."

When I was led to the Grove a few years ago, I had no idea of the spiritual transformations that would take place. I am not the same man, and I am so grateful. It was here that my wolf spirit guide came to me in a dream and I was given the name Riverwolf. In some ways, this place feels so magical, it's as if some mystical portal opened for just a short time and is now about to close. I know it's silly, but part of me wonders that if I return after some time passes--will it even be here? And maybe it was just my emotions, but even the light appeared different today; it was harsher, not as soft. And something in my vision seemed to be shifting, changing--like a digital TV signal that is weakening.

But just as I was led to Brandtlund Grove, so I am being led elsewhere. My new apartment is in a wonderful location with a large park to explore and a creek. Just as the Grove offered so many lessons, so will this new place. Perhaps my next task is to learn how to be an urban shaman or urban druid.

And I'll still be connected to Brandtlund, perhaps even physically. The lake here is actually a reservoir for the city in which I'll now be living. Whereas I currently use a well for my water, I'll now have city water--and perhaps some of it will originate from Brandtlund Grove, still nourishing me, still providing that life-giving water.

For My New Apartment, I Chose: #2, the Charming Townhome!

Thanks to everyone for your comments and for playing along!

I chose #2 mainly because of the price since that is a huge factor at the moment. But I love the hardwood floors, and the overall "spirit" of the place is cozy and welcoming. The park and the creek are literally out my front door, and the complex has many tall, beautiful oak trees. As a shaman/druid, what better place? It is smack in the middle of the city, however, so that will be a huge adjustment and I will miss all my critter friends. But who knows what I might encounter here, after all.

My partner is taking the news relatively well, at the moment anyway. I'm trying to be as calm as possible about everything, and I suppose that's helping. We're talking and trying to be civil rather than throwing crystal or china (I had friends who did that!).

However, that doesn't mean I'm not a complete emotional wreck! But I'm taking everything one step at a time, listening to my heart and keeping my eyes open for the bigger picture.

Speaking of pictures, I have my camera and plan to snap some photos of the new place, so look for those soon!

For My New Apartment, I Chose: #2, the Charming Townhome!

Thanks to everyone for your comments and for playing along!

I chose #2 mainly because of the price since that is a huge factor at the moment. But I love the hardwood floors, and the overall "spirit" of the place is cozy and welcoming. The park and the creek are literally out my front door, and the complex has many tall, beautiful oak trees. As a shaman/druid, what better place? It is smack in the middle of the city, however, so that will be a huge adjustment and I will miss all my critter friends. But who knows what I might encounter here, after all.

My partner is taking the news relatively well, at the moment anyway. I'm trying to be as calm as possible about everything, and I suppose that's helping. We're talking and trying to be civil rather than throwing crystal or china (I had friends who did that!).

However, that doesn't mean I'm not a complete emotional wreck! But I'm taking everything one step at a time, listening to my heart and keeping my eyes open for the bigger picture.

Speaking of pictures, I have my camera and plan to snap some photos of the new place, so look for those soon!

Lady Gaga Wants to Turn the World Gay!

Oh Gaga, how we queers love thee! Let us count the ways!

In her OUT magazine interview, Lady Gaga had some prerequisites for rap star Kanye West before agreeing to join his tour (via Towleroad). Says Gaga to Kanye:

"I just want to be clear before we decide to do this together: I’m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love that it’s gay. And I love my gay fans and they’re all going to be coming to our show. And it’s going to remain gay."

I think Lady Gaga just owned Kanye! This is one lady with a serious "gay agenda!" Me like!

Lady Gaga Wants to Turn the World Gay!

Oh Gaga, how we queers love thee! Let us count the ways!

In her OUT magazine interview, Lady Gaga had some prerequisites for rap star Kanye West before agreeing to join his tour (via Towleroad). Says Gaga to Kanye:

"I just want to be clear before we decide to do this together: I’m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love that it’s gay. And I love my gay fans and they’re all going to be coming to our show. And it’s going to remain gay."

I think Lady Gaga just owned Kanye! This is one lady with a serious "gay agenda!" Me like!

Clear Sailing? It's in the cards!

If you ever use tarot cards, do you ever wonder what the hell they're saying? I've been pulling a single card almost daily for the last few weeks, trying to get some clarity on all the changes I'm going through with my partner.

Well, yesterday, I made a BIG decision--I put in an application for an apartment! I'm not saying which one just yet, because I don't know if the application's been accepted. So if you voted on which one I should pick, just hang tight for another day or so!

With that in mind, I pulled the Eight of Wands this morning (Eight of Rods in the Brotherhood Tarot that I actually use. I use this representation here from Philosopher's Stone since I don't have an actual image scanned. But this one is pretty, too.) I'm always cautious about taking these too literally--but I really liked this one given my decision yesterday!

The Eight of Wands/Rods represents: "Clear sailing. You are on the right path. The direction you take will get you to your destination. Your actions will bring you what you desire. Success. Our sights are set on the goal and we move with purpose. As we make our sojourn, we understand the bigger picture; good times lie ahead. What could be better than something to look forward to?"

Clear Sailing? It's in the cards!

If you ever use tarot cards, do you ever wonder what the hell they're saying? I've been pulling a single card almost daily for the last few weeks, trying to get some clarity on all the changes I'm going through with my partner.

Well, yesterday, I made a BIG decision--I put in an application for an apartment! I'm not saying which one just yet, because I don't know if the application's been accepted. So if you voted on which one I should pick, just hang tight for another day or so!

With that in mind, I pulled the Eight of Wands this morning (Eight of Rods in the Brotherhood Tarot that I actually use. I use this representation here from Philosopher's Stone since I don't have an actual image scanned. But this one is pretty, too.) I'm always cautious about taking these too literally--but I really liked this one given my decision yesterday!

The Eight of Wands/Rods represents: "Clear sailing. You are on the right path. The direction you take will get you to your destination. Your actions will bring you what you desire. Success. Our sights are set on the goal and we move with purpose. As we make our sojourn, we understand the bigger picture; good times lie ahead. What could be better than something to look forward to?"

The Wedding Is On!

Quick update--meet with my first couple on Saturday to plan their wedding! The bride is a old high-school classmate of mine that I haven't seen in 20+ years. But now she's a big ol' pagan, and it's been great to reconnect in that way.

Her wedding will be atop a mountain in a state park about 1 hour away from my home. Can't wait to blow that conch horn! Now I have to put the ceremony together based on our discussion and get their ok. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm already nervous!

The Wedding Is On!

Quick update--meet with my first couple on Saturday to plan their wedding! The bride is a old high-school classmate of mine that I haven't seen in 20+ years. But now she's a big ol' pagan, and it's been great to reconnect in that way.

Her wedding will be atop a mountain in a state park about 1 hour away from my home. Can't wait to blow that conch horn! Now I have to put the ceremony together based on our discussion and get their ok. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm already nervous!

No Wonder I'm Stressed!

First, thanks to everyone who voted in my previous post to help me pick my new apartment! I'll let you know what happens.

Meanwhile, I'm a little ... shall we say, uncomfortable, at the moment. Thus the photo at left.

Let's review, shall we?

• Money problems
• It seems every computer within my reach is having problems
• Lots of irons in the fire, workwise
• I'm leaving my partner after nearly 15 years
• Plus, I'm a hopeless Libra perfectionist and have a helluva time making big decisions!
  

I could really use a drink, but that may be the last thing I need what with all that's happened lately. *great big sigh*

No Wonder I'm Stressed!

First, thanks to everyone who voted in my previous post to help me pick my new apartment! I'll let you know what happens.

Meanwhile, I'm a little ... shall we say, uncomfortable, at the moment. Thus the photo at left.

Let's review, shall we?

• Money problems
• It seems every computer within my reach is having problems
• Lots of irons in the fire, workwise
• I'm leaving my partner after nearly 15 years
• Plus, I'm a hopeless Libra perfectionist and have a helluva time making big decisions!
  

I could really use a drink, but that may be the last thing I need what with all that's happened lately. *great big sigh*

The Break-Up: Help Me Pick My New Apartment!

I'll spare you the gory details, but this past Monday I finally made the decision to move out. Now I just need to decide where to go. I think my partner is still in denial about my decision, however, so I'm anxious to get out soon. But being a Libra, I can't decide! Here's where you can help.

Ever watch "House Hunters" on HGTV? Same idea, just for an apartment. I'll list here my 4 choices and you tell me which one you think I should take. Sorry I don't have photos, but I can't seem to remember to carry my camera with me lately. Ready? Here goes, no particular order:

#1. Trendy Downtown Loft: Brand-new 1-bedroom or studio apts in revitalized downtown neighborhood. Galleries, shops within walking distance. Apts feature free wireless, cheap deal on cable, biz center, cardio room and pool, secure entrances and trendy interior accents w/ balcony. Nice city views. W/D connections but no laundry facility. Square footage ranges 606-777, rent is $799-$855/month.

#2. Charming Townhome: 2-bedroom townhome, built in 1940s, with original hardwood floors, gas heat & range, central air, private front and rear entrances and small garden areas. Old-school ceramic tile bathroom, nice closets but tiny kitchen. No W/D connections but do have laundry facility. Beautiful old trees in courtyard-type setting next to city park and creek with paved walking paths. Low application fee and only $525/month. Not sure on square footage but rooms are spacious.

#3. Livin' Large in New Neighborhood: Newer apt in new neighborhood still under construction but a little far out. Both 1- and 2-bedroom units are large, between 770-1,100 square feet with largest bathrooms I've seen and tall ceilings. Most all rooms are conveniently wired for cable. Have dishwashers and W/D connections, and can rent outdoor storage. Balconies, fitness center, pool and close to city walking trail; apt complex backs up to small stream. Rent ranges $610-$710/month.

#4. Shaded, Established Neighborhood: Tree-shaded older complex in convenient, upscale neighborhood. Balconies, fitness center, pool, does have outdoor storage and option for taller ceilings. Nice landscaping and plenty of sidewalks. Square footage between 773-1,113, but apts feel small because of choppy floor plan. W/D connections and laundry facility. High application fee ($325) and rent between $559-$610/month.

Which one do you think I should pick??

The Break-Up: Help Me Pick My New Apartment!

I'll spare you the gory details, but this past Monday I finally made the decision to move out. Now I just need to decide where to go. I think my partner is still in denial about my decision, however, so I'm anxious to get out soon. But being a Libra, I can't decide! Here's where you can help.

Ever watch "House Hunters" on HGTV? Same idea, just for an apartment. I'll list here my 4 choices and you tell me which one you think I should take. Sorry I don't have photos, but I can't seem to remember to carry my camera with me lately. Ready? Here goes, no particular order:

#1. Trendy Downtown Loft: Brand-new 1-bedroom or studio apts in revitalized downtown neighborhood. Galleries, shops within walking distance. Apts feature free wireless, cheap deal on cable, biz center, cardio room and pool, secure entrances and trendy interior accents w/ balcony. Nice city views. W/D connections but no laundry facility. Square footage ranges 606-777, rent is $799-$855/month.

#2. Charming Townhome: 2-bedroom townhome, built in 1940s, with original hardwood floors, gas heat & range, central air, private front and rear entrances and small garden areas. Old-school ceramic tile bathroom, nice closets but tiny kitchen. No W/D connections but do have laundry facility. Beautiful old trees in courtyard-type setting next to city park and creek with paved walking paths. Low application fee and only $525/month. Not sure on square footage but rooms are spacious.

#3. Livin' Large in New Neighborhood: Newer apt in new neighborhood still under construction but a little far out. Both 1- and 2-bedroom units are large, between 770-1,100 square feet with largest bathrooms I've seen and tall ceilings. Most all rooms are conveniently wired for cable. Have dishwashers and W/D connections, and can rent outdoor storage. Balconies, fitness center, pool and close to city walking trail; apt complex backs up to small stream. Rent ranges $610-$710/month.

#4. Shaded, Established Neighborhood: Tree-shaded older complex in convenient, upscale neighborhood. Balconies, fitness center, pool, does have outdoor storage and option for taller ceilings. Nice landscaping and plenty of sidewalks. Square footage between 773-1,113, but apts feel small because of choppy floor plan. W/D connections and laundry facility. High application fee ($325) and rent between $559-$610/month.

Which one do you think I should pick??

A Quiet Lughnasadh

Even though I don't live by the old agricultural calendar/festivals, it's a nice way to stay connected to the Earth. Today is Lughnasadh or Lammas, part of the Celtic calendar when some of the first big harvest would come in, of grain and corn, for example. It's a time to remember that we depend on the Earth's fertility, that even if we shop in grocery stores and buy mostly packaged food, it still originates in the dirt as it always has.

So to mark this time, I walked to my favorite spot by the lake (which is lower than ever, by the way--not good). I just needed quiet time to myself. With the idea of harvest in mind, I took symbols of my writing, my shamanic practice and my new ministerial services, and blessed them with the intent that they are fruitful over the next year. I brought along some blueberries and bread to eat; I also left a few bites for the critters. Then I read this seasonal meditation. I don't go in so much for the "god/goddess/lord/lady" language, but it does have beautiful imagery:

Now is the time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of nature give of themselves
So that we may survive.

O god of the ripening fields, Lord of the Grain,
Grant me the understanding of sacrifice
As you prepare to deliver yourself
Under the sickle of the goddess
And journey to the lands of eternal summer.

O goddess of the dark moon,
Teach me the secrets of rebirth
As the sun loses its strength and the nights grow cold.

I partake of the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with mine
That I may continue my quest
For the starry wisdom of perfection.

O Lady of the Moon and Lord of the Sun,
before whom the stars halt their courses,
I offer my thanks
For the continuing fertility of the Earth.
May the nodding grain loose its seeds
To be buried in the Mother's breast,
Ensuring rebirth in the warmth of next spring.

A Quiet Lughnasadh

Even though I don't live by the old agricultural calendar/festivals, it's a nice way to stay connected to the Earth. Today is Lughnasadh or Lammas, part of the Celtic calendar when some of the first big harvest would come in, of grain and corn, for example. It's a time to remember that we depend on the Earth's fertility, that even if we shop in grocery stores and buy mostly packaged food, it still originates in the dirt as it always has.

So to mark this time, I walked to my favorite spot by the lake (which is lower than ever, by the way--not good). I just needed quiet time to myself. With the idea of harvest in mind, I took symbols of my writing, my shamanic practice and my new ministerial services, and blessed them with the intent that they are fruitful over the next year. I brought along some blueberries and bread to eat; I also left a few bites for the critters. Then I read this seasonal meditation. I don't go in so much for the "god/goddess/lord/lady" language, but it does have beautiful imagery:

Now is the time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of nature give of themselves
So that we may survive.

O god of the ripening fields, Lord of the Grain,
Grant me the understanding of sacrifice
As you prepare to deliver yourself
Under the sickle of the goddess
And journey to the lands of eternal summer.

O goddess of the dark moon,
Teach me the secrets of rebirth
As the sun loses its strength and the nights grow cold.

I partake of the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with mine
That I may continue my quest
For the starry wisdom of perfection.

O Lady of the Moon and Lord of the Sun,
before whom the stars halt their courses,
I offer my thanks
For the continuing fertility of the Earth.
May the nodding grain loose its seeds
To be buried in the Mother's breast,
Ensuring rebirth in the warmth of next spring.

Boys of Summer #6: I'll Call Him 'Tommy'

I've never been one to like your bloomers to show, but "Tommy" here is all right with me!

Boys of Summer #6: I'll Call Him 'Tommy'

I've never been one to like your bloomers to show, but "Tommy" here is all right with me!