Sounds for Healing

Last week a friend who I met through last year's Shamanic Mystery School invited me for a sound healing session. Not that I seemed to need it necessarily, but she's starting her own healing practice and wanted, well, guinea pigs. If it's free--I'm there!

(No, this isn't my friend below, but I thought she looked friendly.)

I've had a wee bit of experience with sound healing, but this was my first private session. In order to be a good client, I put some thought into what I might need healing for, and of course, I thought about my relationship with my partner, but also healing for what I perceive as a tendency to hold back and be too much of a pleaser. Sounds minor, but this tendency can turn crippling.

The idea with sound healing is that everything, including us, is made up of energy at various frequencies. Think string theory! So if something is off in your vibration, that could lead to illness, emotional dependencies and all sorts of other problems. If those vibrations can be put back in tune--sort of like tuning an old piano--then you'll be as good as new. Sure, I don't know if I buy into all of it, and yet I know how a favorite song--those particular sounds--can put me in a happy mood or a sad one. Sound does affect us in ways we often take for granted.

Any sounds can be used: bells, gongs, tuning forks, quartz crystal bowls--even the human voice. My biggest surprise during the session came when my friend--a rather quiet, mousy person--started toning with her voice. Out of this little woman came a deep, masculine tone; at first, I thought it was a recording. Her voice changed throughout, from deep to high-pitched, from loud, throaty hums to soft whispers. All the while, she's using her various instruments. Meanwhile, my job is to relax and pay attention to any images or impressions I receive. Afterward, we'd both discuss our experience--and then wait for the healing to take effect.

I won't bore you with all the images and impressions, but the session did give me something to think over. Maybe all those sounds will help me preserve my "personal power," if you will. Overall, the experience was powerful, I do have to say. It's an intimate experience, to allow a person to tone for you in this way, to reveal something about yourself beyond an upset tummy or whatever. Oddly, just lying there listening to my friend's powerful voice and the bold sounds of the instruments chipped away at my own reticence--encouraging me to let my own power and abilities to shine forth. So, I guess it did work! And my friend also offered me another session--for free! I think I'll go back in a few weeks and give it another try.

If you're ever curious about sound healing, I would recommend Zacciah Blackburn, who offers workshops around the country, so there may be one offered near you.

Sounds for Healing

Last week a friend who I met through last year's Shamanic Mystery School invited me for a sound healing session. Not that I seemed to need it necessarily, but she's starting her own healing practice and wanted, well, guinea pigs. If it's free--I'm there!

(No, this isn't my friend below, but I thought she looked friendly.)

I've had a wee bit of experience with sound healing, but this was my first private session. In order to be a good client, I put some thought into what I might need healing for, and of course, I thought about my relationship with my partner, but also healing for what I perceive as a tendency to hold back and be too much of a pleaser. Sounds minor, but this tendency can turn crippling.

The idea with sound healing is that everything, including us, is made up of energy at various frequencies. Think string theory! So if something is off in your vibration, that could lead to illness, emotional dependencies and all sorts of other problems. If those vibrations can be put back in tune--sort of like tuning an old piano--then you'll be as good as new. Sure, I don't know if I buy into all of it, and yet I know how a favorite song--those particular sounds--can put me in a happy mood or a sad one. Sound does affect us in ways we often take for granted.

Any sounds can be used: bells, gongs, tuning forks, quartz crystal bowls--even the human voice. My biggest surprise during the session came when my friend--a rather quiet, mousy person--started toning with her voice. Out of this little woman came a deep, masculine tone; at first, I thought it was a recording. Her voice changed throughout, from deep to high-pitched, from loud, throaty hums to soft whispers. All the while, she's using her various instruments. Meanwhile, my job is to relax and pay attention to any images or impressions I receive. Afterward, we'd both discuss our experience--and then wait for the healing to take effect.

I won't bore you with all the images and impressions, but the session did give me something to think over. Maybe all those sounds will help me preserve my "personal power," if you will. Overall, the experience was powerful, I do have to say. It's an intimate experience, to allow a person to tone for you in this way, to reveal something about yourself beyond an upset tummy or whatever. Oddly, just lying there listening to my friend's powerful voice and the bold sounds of the instruments chipped away at my own reticence--encouraging me to let my own power and abilities to shine forth. So, I guess it did work! And my friend also offered me another session--for free! I think I'll go back in a few weeks and give it another try.

If you're ever curious about sound healing, I would recommend Zacciah Blackburn, who offers workshops around the country, so there may be one offered near you.

Reiki, Prayer, Energy Work: Just Whistling in the Wind?

Been sick the last several days, coughing til my head hurts, blowing my nose raw and so on. No fever, fortunately--so I think I'll live. But this little physical ailment has got me thinking again, which we all know is dangerous.

Several of my friends have said they would send "healing energy" my way (some are Reiki practitioners), or that they would pray for me, or hold me in "the light" or even break out the crystal bowls and tone for my recovery. It's great to have friends--but does any of this shit work? I mean, it's been almost a week and I'm still sick!

Now, this could indicate any number of things. One, I'm impatient. Two, my symptoms would've been much, much worse without all that healing energy. Or three, no, none of that crap works but it makes us puny humans feel like we can make a difference when the big, bad world unleashes itself on us.

Truth is, you can't tell. No way, no how. Maybe things like prayer help, but there isn't any way to know. You gotta take it on faith. And maybe, faith in and of itself, makes a difference and can actually contribute toward you simply feeling better, which is certainly part of any recovery process. There are even people researching the effects of these methods.

But call me skeptical. It was this sort of thing that caused me to wave bye-bye to Christianity about 6 years ago. I had prayed for all kinds of things but realized I could never say for sure if anyone was listening or acting on my behalf. And really, this is the same thing. So yes, you gotta have faith. But having faith still doesn't make something true. Because if faith alone is enough--then WHY hasn't this guy below knocked on my door yet??

Reiki, Prayer, Energy Work: Just Whistling in the Wind?

Been sick the last several days, coughing til my head hurts, blowing my nose raw and so on. No fever, fortunately--so I think I'll live. But this little physical ailment has got me thinking again, which we all know is dangerous.

Several of my friends have said they would send "healing energy" my way (some are Reiki practitioners), or that they would pray for me, or hold me in "the light" or even break out the crystal bowls and tone for my recovery. It's great to have friends--but does any of this shit work? I mean, it's been almost a week and I'm still sick!

Now, this could indicate any number of things. One, I'm impatient. Two, my symptoms would've been much, much worse without all that healing energy. Or three, no, none of that crap works but it makes us puny humans feel like we can make a difference when the big, bad world unleashes itself on us.

Truth is, you can't tell. No way, no how. Maybe things like prayer help, but there isn't any way to know. You gotta take it on faith. And maybe, faith in and of itself, makes a difference and can actually contribute toward you simply feeling better, which is certainly part of any recovery process. There are even people researching the effects of these methods.

But call me skeptical. It was this sort of thing that caused me to wave bye-bye to Christianity about 6 years ago. I had prayed for all kinds of things but realized I could never say for sure if anyone was listening or acting on my behalf. And really, this is the same thing. So yes, you gotta have faith. But having faith still doesn't make something true. Because if faith alone is enough--then WHY hasn't this guy below knocked on my door yet??

Hooray for Acupuncture--Now I Can Put On My Dancing Shoes!

About a month ago I began going to an acupuncturist--and I can happily say it has worked wonders! If you think you need it, do it! The doctor brought such a holistic approach to everything and essentially put my health back into my hands. When I spoke to my general physician, all he offered was a shot of cortisone. Gee, thanks.

My acupunturist gave me great foot rubs and various exercises to do at home, counseled me on the types of shoes I'm wearing and talked to me about how I walk and move in general. Was it the mere act of sticking me with pins that helped? Or was it a combo of all the above plus by own TLC of my foot? Either way, going to the acupuncturist did the trick.

Hooray for Acupuncture--Now I Can Put On My Dancing Shoes!

About a month ago I began going to an acupuncturist--and I can happily say it has worked wonders! If you think you need it, do it! The doctor brought such a holistic approach to everything and essentially put my health back into my hands. When I spoke to my general physician, all he offered was a shot of cortisone. Gee, thanks.

My acupunturist gave me great foot rubs and various exercises to do at home, counseled me on the types of shoes I'm wearing and talked to me about how I walk and move in general. Was it the mere act of sticking me with pins that helped? Or was it a combo of all the above plus by own TLC of my foot? Either way, going to the acupuncturist did the trick.

On Pins and Needles: My First Visit to the Acupuncturist

This isn't really my right foot--but it IS my right foot that's bothering me. Which is why I decided to give acupuncture a try.

A couple of years ago, I began experiencing pain in my foot. Turns out the bone that connects to my big toe is too long. Now that I'm old and decrepit, my tendons and ligaments are stretching, and it's all working together to occasionally cause pain when I walk. I've had cortisone shots in the joint, and that helps temporarily. I've also seen 2 different podiatrists, but they were both disasters and caused more problems than they were worth! Also threw out most of my old shoes and bought new ones that better fit my old, decrepit feet.

But the problem flared up again recently, so to acupuncturist I went. I don't know if it works, but it certainly couldn't hurt to try. According to the American Academy of Medical Acupuncturists: In the past 2,000 years, more people have been successfully treated with acupuncture than with all other health modalities combined."

So there! Better option than surgery, for sure. In fact, I'm determined to try every alternative out there and to manage the challenge as best I can, only choosing surgery as a last resort!

I describe my problem to the acupuncturist, and then she describes how she can help. She makes a point to say that acupuncture will not cure my problem, but it can increase blood flow to help with pain and inflammation. Sounds great. So I lie down on the bed, and she proceed to place a total of 12 needles in me, mostly in my right foot but also some up and down the outside of both legs. She says this will help with balancing the energy and blood flow and release problems in the legs caused by overcompensating for my foot pain. One special needle is reserved for the center of my head, my crown chakra, to help with relaxation. She puts on some wonderful music, turns the lights down low and leaves me alone for 20 minutes, checking on me once to flick the needles and see how I'm doing.

Afterwards, I didn't feel any immediate change, although my foot did begin to feel better over the course of the next few days, which could've been unrelated to the acupuncture. But the doctor said to return for a few follow-up visits in order to get the most benefit from the practice. I'll give it another try or two next week to see if I can tell any improvements. Spending 20 minutes lying quietly on a table--even with needles stuck into my body--beats the hell out of sawing my toe bone in half and weeks of pain and recuperation!

On Pins and Needles: My First Visit to the Acupuncturist

This isn't really my right foot--but it IS my right foot that's bothering me. Which is why I decided to give acupuncture a try.

A couple of years ago, I began experiencing pain in my foot. Turns out the bone that connects to my big toe is too long. Now that I'm old and decrepit, my tendons and ligaments are stretching, and it's all working together to occasionally cause pain when I walk. I've had cortisone shots in the joint, and that helps temporarily. I've also seen 2 different podiatrists, but they were both disasters and caused more problems than they were worth! Also threw out most of my old shoes and bought new ones that better fit my old, decrepit feet.

But the problem flared up again recently, so to acupuncturist I went. I don't know if it works, but it certainly couldn't hurt to try. According to the American Academy of Medical Acupuncturists: In the past 2,000 years, more people have been successfully treated with acupuncture than with all other health modalities combined."

So there! Better option than surgery, for sure. In fact, I'm determined to try every alternative out there and to manage the challenge as best I can, only choosing surgery as a last resort!

I describe my problem to the acupuncturist, and then she describes how she can help. She makes a point to say that acupuncture will not cure my problem, but it can increase blood flow to help with pain and inflammation. Sounds great. So I lie down on the bed, and she proceed to place a total of 12 needles in me, mostly in my right foot but also some up and down the outside of both legs. She says this will help with balancing the energy and blood flow and release problems in the legs caused by overcompensating for my foot pain. One special needle is reserved for the center of my head, my crown chakra, to help with relaxation. She puts on some wonderful music, turns the lights down low and leaves me alone for 20 minutes, checking on me once to flick the needles and see how I'm doing.

Afterwards, I didn't feel any immediate change, although my foot did begin to feel better over the course of the next few days, which could've been unrelated to the acupuncture. But the doctor said to return for a few follow-up visits in order to get the most benefit from the practice. I'll give it another try or two next week to see if I can tell any improvements. Spending 20 minutes lying quietly on a table--even with needles stuck into my body--beats the hell out of sawing my toe bone in half and weeks of pain and recuperation!

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."

Post Shamanic Weekend Re-Entry Is a Bitch

I'm very fortunate--I just spent 2 full days with quasi-strangers who have become friends trying to figure out the deeper questions of life. We all have our opinions and quirks, but there's a deep respect and admiration for one another. Yeah, and it took me practically all weekend to realize that, to slough off the armor required to live in this culture and open myself up enough to experience the reality that truly is, the reality that can truly be.

And now it's over, and I'm left with paying bills, deadlines at work, traffic jams, boring TV shows and so on. It's almost as if my weekend was a dream. It felt so real and now, *poof*, it's gone. Makes me wonder, did any of that happen?

"Goddesses Gone Wild!"
We had fun with that line, speculating which of our activities might wind up on YouTube. But sorry to disappoint, we didn't actually get beyond a little dancing and some racy humor.

As a quick recap, I'm in this shamanic mystery school based on the 7 chakras. This past weekend, we focused on the heart chakra and goddess energy. Situated in the middle of the chakra system, the heart chakra is about balance, and we directed our energy toward a love-centered foundation for compassion and service to others. Here are a few highlights:

• Love is always unconditional. If it's conditional, it isn't love. Duh.

• Prior to the workshop, we each meditated on the moon and journeyed there. I've developed a strong spiritual connection to one other workshop participant. She showed up in both my meditation and my dream the first night of the workshop.

• We talked about male and female energy (I'm not convinced there's a difference, actually). But the facilitator had constructed this "cylinder" out of 2 hula hoops and ribbon that we could step into. Allegedly, male energy spins one way while female spins the other. Naturally, my hoop rocked back and forth! But while standing there, I totally had serious deja vu, a flashback to a dream or whatever---but I recall an image of me standing inside this thing, not knowing what it was but very curious. Took my breath away and gave me the willies!
  

• We listed 13 goddesses in our own lives and their lessons. Then we discussed various goddesses from different cultures. I pulled Artemis, and it read:

  "I am Artemis, the Greek Goddess of Selfhood. I am here to say that now is the time to pay attention to the whispering voices of your own needs. Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are."

  Which is so appropriate it's scary, given the issues I'm having with my partner. Thank you, Artemis. I don't know how accurate that is historically, but it works for me!
  

• We also learned about cool, freaky stuff like the 13 Egyptian chakras and their harmonies/tones, how to do a crystal chakra layout for someone, huna energy balancing and healing, crystal grids and shamanic body journeying (which I'll briefly explain). We also participated in a heart chakra activation ceremony. And lots of drumming, shaking rattles and a little goddess dancing for those who felt so inclined.
  

My Goddess and Gender Issues
You probably know the pagan world is pretty much divided into goddess energy and god energy, and I get why all that's important. But for those of us like me who don't really fit in either world, it's a bit of a riddle. Where do we fit? I can appreciate feminine qualities and goddess perspectives, but I believe and know there is something beyond that. Gender is so limiting, whether you're male or female. We're so much more.

This came up during our shamanic body journey to the heart. I'll spare you the logistics since they're quite complicated. All that's important is this: I saw a beautiful and fierce sea goddess (and this photo is a pale imitation) whose hair was of seaweed and sea anemones, her limbs were undulating sea creatures, and she swayed with the ocean's currents. This was supposed to be my "goddess within." Most gay men have already found their inner goddess--ha, ha--but was this all?

Then a watery shock wave broke the sea goddess image; it became more androgynous, and then another shock wave made the figure disappear altogether, leaving nothing but pure formlessness and essence. This is it! THAT is me! THAT is all of us! We are not bound by what's between our legs--gods, how limiting! All I could see was water, representing pure energy and spirit. It brought tears to my eyes.

We were also to ask questions of the goddess, so I'll have to backtrack a bit. I asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" Because I'm always unsure and seem to be going in various directions that never pan out. I initially heard, "Just be," which really bothered me because I'm totally Type A. But then, as I meditated on that image of formlessness (is there such a thing?), I distinctly heard: "I Am."

Whoa--for us former Christians, that smacks of heresy! But it isn't really. It isn't quite the same thing as the Christian god saying, "I am that I am." Sure, I'd still be burned at the stake if this were 1509 but whatever. What that meant to me, if I can even begin to put it into words, is that whatever I'm doing is good and fine and perfect. Whomever I am or become is good and fine and perfect. The same energy in me is the energy is each and every person in this world, past, present and future. And it's the same energy in the plants, the animals, the water, the sun and the stars themselves.

So the goddess in Riverwolf says, "I am. And it's all good, y'all."