Am I a Restaurant Snob? Are You?

Can't decide if I'm a restaurant snob or maybe just old. Here's the thing--the other day I had lunch with my mom and sister and Jason's Deli, a national chain. Despite the fact that their food is always good, I absolutely hated it!

If you've never been, it's one of those places where you place your order first, then trot down a cafeteria line where you pay. They prepare it fresh and bring it to your table, which is nice. But then you have to go through what I call "The Eating Accessories Challenge." You got to get the napkins, your drink, the straw, forks and knives, condiments--all while dodging the other diners converging on the salad bar and the ice cream machine. Little kids dart in and out without looking, and the deli workers are pushing trash cans, carrying food, cleaning up spills--this is better than "Unbeatable Banzuke!" When I finally had all my napkins and stuff in hand, I felt like raising my arms in victory, as if I'd crossed the finish line!

Honestly, I felt like a gazelle fighting with all the other critters for a spot at the watering hole! Then it hit me. I like to go into a restaurant and get all my shit at once, thank you. I don't mind fast food occasionally, as long as I don't have to fight the mob. I'd prefer, however, to go in, be seated, have a waiter take my order and then bring me my food and take my payment. Ah, much simpler. Surely it even aids in proper digestion.

When did food become a contact sport?