Mr. Magoo Goes to Georgia, or John McCain's Blind Support for Any Country That Isn't Russia

So John McCain has been beating his chest over the conflict between Russia and Georgia, and it's got me to thinking: What is he threatening to do exactly? His speech from 8/11 said Russia should anticipate "severe, long-term negative consequences." What does that mean, really?

Ok kids, time for class. Let's look at what McCain said and then we'll take a less heated look at the drama surrounding Georgia.

First, McCain will hereafter be referred to as Mr. Magoo, that lovable yet nearsighted retiree cartoon character (above). Don't you think they resemble one another??

So, here's how "severe" Magoo would get with the Russian bear.

1. A UN resolution. Whooooooo--yeah, we honor those ourselves!
2. "The court of world opinion." Oh yeah, that worked so well when the ENTIRE WORLD was against the invasion of Iraq.
3. Send in a NATO peacekeeping force. That could actually help--or it might backfire. Russia is suspicious of NATO anyway, so this might just confirm its fears and make matters worse.
4. Negotiate with Georgia. Ok, careful here. What is there to negotiate? I thought Russia just needs to get out, you know, because they're always evil and have nothing to offer or negotiate about. Isn't Georgia the pure and holy receptacle of democracy at the moment?
   

Is that it, Magoo? Whew, good, 'cause I was expecting something like "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."

Now let's take a look at the drama surrounding Georgia, because I think--true to form--Magoo is a bit nearsighted. I fear he's blowing this situation out of proportion and playing on historical fears of Russia in order to win political points (oh, such the Cynical Cyndy--and not as in Cindy McCain).

Georgia No Innocent Bystander
I think Georgia was asking for it. What better way to gain more support from the West? What Magoo and other conservatives conveniently leave out is that there have been a long history of clashes between the Georgian government and separatists in the South Ossetia and Abkhazia regions. Russia just didn't wake up the other week and decide to invade. Agree or disagree with Russia's actions, but there is a history here we need to be aware of before the U.S. finds itself in another foreign quagmire.

I'll try to keep this brief. Back on 8/8, Georgia launched a major military offensive to gain control over the separatist region of South Ossetia. This was swiftly followed by a counter-offensive by Russia. Now this might all sound really scary if you don't know anything about the long, LONG history of separatism and conflicts between all parties (hmmm, sound like Sunnis, Shias and Iraq anyone?).

With Neighbors Like These....
First, Georgia has reason to be scared of Russia. It has a intermittent history of independence along with periods of being ruled by the Ottomans and Russians. But South Ossetia also has a history of independence, which goes, like, way far back than you can imagine. Historically, the Ossetians and the Georgians have not been friends. In fact, Ossetia seems to like Russia better, so that pisses off Georgia. Even when Georgia most recently won independence in 1991, the Ossetians were fighting them. Of course, Georgia wants independence for itself but NOT for South Ossetia ("North Ossetia" is in Russia proper). South Ossetia has even held its own elections in 2001 and 2006 (hello, democracy calling!) but Georgia refused to recognize them. Here's a great link for more detail.

So basically, despite an ancient history of clashes, Georgia is insisting on governing South Ossetia no matter what. And we're jumping on the bandwagon. Russia is probably helping the separatists, which Georgia doesn't like, and so here we are. Why not just surrender South Ossetia if that's what they want? Come on people--if this conflict has been raging for millennia, do you think it will end any time soon?

Abkhazia. No, I'm Not Making That Up.
Still with me? Good, now on to Abkhazia (doesn't it remind you of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban?). If you're feeling lost, here's a map.


Essentially, we see the same drama here. Abkhazia has experienced some independence only to be swallowed up by expansionist Russia in the 19th century. It was granted autonomy by the Soviet Union but then forced to be part of Georgia in 1931. So I'm sure they're still pissed about that. I would be. Since the early 1990s, Abkhazian separatists have been tussling with Georgia--hey, news flash Georgia, they're just not that into you. There have been cease-fires and agreements to play nice, and Abkhazia held elections (one thing the "democratic" Georgia doesn't like) in 2004 and 2007, and so here we are. Sound familiar?

How Should We Define Democracy?
If you're like me, this is probably more than you ever wanted to know about Georgia. But we need to educate ourselves, especially if our government is throwing its support behind this country and against Russia. Lord only knows where that could lead.

Which brings me to my final point. Is Georgia the kind of democracy we should support? Did you know that in Georgia, Christianity is the official state religion? Hmmm, wonder how the Muslims, pagans and atheists feel about that? And did you know that Magoo himself praised this declaration? Hmmm, what does that say about Magoo's feeling about our own prized separation of church and state? I'm sure Magoo thinks that isn't anything so awful, but in other parts of the world, people take religious divisions and differences very seriously (unfortunately). Here's a Huffington Post piece that exposes some of our own nearsightedness when it comes to religion elsewhere.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn
But all hasn't been rosy since Georgia's peaceful Rose Revolution in 2003 that brought Saakashvili to the presidency. He and his government have been accused of corruption, authoritarianism and failed economic reforms, which are the very crises that helped sweep him into power. There have been mass protests over various issues, and Saakashvili has sent in the riot police with rubber bullets and tear gas to thin the crowds. He's also shut down an opposition TV station because he suspected it of encouraging protests and even issue a state of emergency in 2007. Since then, elections have been moved around and candidates have suspiciously dropped out of the race for president.

Yep, sounds just like a democracy I want to whole-heartedly support--unless, of course, I was Dick Cheney. Of course, Georgia has a major oil pipeline. 'Nuff said.