A Dose of Thanks and Grief in Lugnasadh Ritual

Today I went home for my Lugnasadh ritual. First I finished my lunch on the deck, and it's a beautifully sunny and breezy day.

For background on my reasons for celebrating, click here.

Then I headed out to the Circle in the yard, lit a candle and called to all 4 directions. In a bowl I placed bread, blueberries and an apple. These all symbolize the early harvest of this time of year. The apple came from my neighbor's tree (he never uses them!) and the blueberries were from the farmer's market. I didn't have time to fetch fresh bread, so loaf bread would have to do. I took a moment to meditate on thankfulness for this food, nature's capacity and the harvests we still depend on even in today's modern world.

The paper in the photo is from the notepad I use in my writing. So next, I meditated on how more writing opportunities are manifesting in my life right now. I passed the paper over the candle flame and asked a short blessing on this "tool of my trade" with hopes that harvest will continue.

I also meditated on summertime, how alive everything is, the warmth of the sun and how I might grow even more aware of my connections to nature.

A few ants had already discovered the bread and were tearing off tiny bits to carry back to their colonies. I took a couple bites of the apple, and then tossed the rest of the bowl's contents into the grass for the other insects, geese and birds to enjoy.

No special impressions--except that I was surprised how overcome with grief I am lately. Sitting there during my ritual, I just felt like putting my head in my hands and bawling. It's grief over my partner and what he's lost due to his stroke and how that's affected our relationship. It's grief over how these changes manifest in other ways: neglect in the garden and yard, my partner's inability to keep track of objects, days and plans we make. More and more falls to me, and I simply am not Superman. There's even more, but hell, I just don't feel like dredging it up at the moment.

All in all, it was refreshing to take these few moments today and spend them alone honoring the natural world from which I was born, derive my life and to which I will one day return.