Miss California Is the New Conservative Poster Girl---and They Can Have Her!

Because apparently, conservatives only like busty blondes who can't put an intelligent answer together when asked a question. I didn't see the Miss USA pageant, but everyone's talking about how Miss California's answer to a question about gay marriage may have cost her the crown; she placed as first runner-up. Despite the fact that Carrie Prejean's answer made no sense, conservatives are hailing her as some kind of symbol of good ol' American values. I suppose so, if your values are fumbling the facts, parochialism and blatant bigotry.

As a reward for her mediocrity and intolerance, Prejean has appeared on Fox News and other networks, been praised by state legislators and is receiving accolades from various conservative/Christian bloggers and activists. Next thing you know, this chick will replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck on "The View" because Liz is "too liberal!"

So let's dissect, shall we? I'll go line by line, with her answer and my critique.

Miss C: "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or the opposite."
Me: No we don't, sweetie. Right now, only 4 out of 50 states recognize same-sex marriage or civil unions between homosexuals. Your home state of California currently does not, so what "land" do you mean exactly? Are you secretly Canadian, perhaps?

Miss C: "And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman."
Me: Well, you know what, that's sweet. But this is also MY country, and I have beliefs, too. But beliefs can be many things. Some people in this diverse country of ours believe that a woman who prances around stage in revealing clothes like you do is a whore and will go to hell. Others believe that women belong in the home raising children. Still others believe women should be submissive to men in all areas of life. That's the family I was raised in, but unlike you, I can see where my family and my raisin' were wrong.

Miss C: "No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."
Me: Well, that makes it all ok! No offense to black people then, because you see, I was raised to think black people are all unintelligent criminals. I was raised to think the same about everyone who isn't white, actually. Which means Obama really shouldn't be President, you know, because he's biracial, which is almost worse than full-blooded black, cause that means some white woman forgot how she was raised. No, that's a crutch, missy. Real leaders and role models don't parrot the beliefs of their families. They think about issues and form their own opinions.

Well, that's it--that's Miss California's stunning defense of heterosexual marriage! She should write a book! Why isn't she running for public office?! Just what we need--another Sarah Palin!

Seriously, what is it with conservative women and their inability to speak coherently on political topics?

And for the record, Miss Cali, should you try any more pageants, remember this: Us queers love us some beauty queens, but we'll turn on you in a hot, damn minute if you burn us! (Anita Bryant anyone?)