So I'm re-reading Caroline Myss' "Anatomy of the Spirit," an intriguing book which I disagree with on several points. But I'm finding that my opinions are shifting the further I stroll down this shaman/druid path (as I call it). Her basic premise, as I understand it, is that our own fears and how we treat others can manifest in our bodies as illness. Whether or not you believe that, Myss does have compelling things to say about how we are all connected as humans.
Which brings up the StepMonster, who I believe is evidence of reptilian life from another planet here to enslave us! But I digress (and no offense to Hillary Clinton, but the photo does illustrate my point!).I don't even know where to begin. When I was 16, my dad had an affair, eventually divorcing my mom and marrying this woman. It took a while to get over it, but I tried to make peace for my dad--and to please Jesus. But every now and then, the StepMonster (she is NOT any sort of "mother" to me!) meddles in family affairs for no other apparent reason than to stir shit up for her own agenda. (She MUST be reptilian!)
So the latest episode occurred over Easter while visiting my dad. It's a long story, but basically they each have their own house. My niece goes to visit the StepMonster since she likes her and her family, the dogs--and they have a Wii (teens can't resist the Wii). Personally, I avoid the StepMonster if at all possible, ever since she lied and torpedoed plans for a surprise birthday party for my dad. Later my niece tells us all that the StepMonster told her all about how one of my brother's is not really my dad's son! And then she played a phone message--from this past Christmas--of my brother cussing out my dad over the phone!
Several things about this cause my blood to boil. First, I've only heard this rumor about my brother through the StepMonster. She claims someone who knows his mother (we have different moms--dad kept busy!) told her--yet my brother's mom denies all of it. No one can name this mysterious "real father" or provide any evidence. Second, why is she telling my 17-year-old niece and playing a 4-month old phone message?!
This brother has never had a good relationship with my dad. He also has some mental illness, and has never been able to provide well for himself or his family. My theory is that the StepMonster doesn't like the drama my brother can cause, and I can appreciate that. But I think she's latched on this with the hope that my brother will "disappear" from my father's life. Does she have any concern for my brother's welfare? Hell, no! She's been spreading this rumor for nearly 20 years! My dad, unfortunately, won't put a stop to it, but then again, he never has been the most "thoughtful" or "caring" dad around.
I, of course, had to set my niece straight. She barely knows my brother, by the way, but is being fed these rumors. Oh, and the StepMonster claims there's going to be a DNA test! Right. My brother lives another county away and never visits, and I know he will never submit to such a test. And my dad avoids doctors like the plague. You gotta have both sets to make a match! Plus, my brother is 54 and my dad is 82. Is there a point to all this?
So if we're all connected in the great web of humanity, what do I do? How do I react to the StepMonster? Although I don't worry about pleasing Jesus anymore, I guess I do believe that all our actions and reactions have consequences. And all that energy flows through us and bounces back in a spiritual echo of sorts. It is like Jesus said, "You reap what you sow." (He did say that, right? My Bible memory is fading!) I don't want to hate or even dislike this woman. Maybe she simply represents a challenge for me. But am I supposed to pretend that she isn't hurting my loved ones? Or is a little righteous anger ok? I've always struggled with that. Maybe it's just leftovers from a Christianity that pressures us all to be milquetoasts.
I'd like a pagan perspective on this. A shamanic perspective. Were the StepMonster and I embroiled in some dysfunctional relationship from a past life? Does her star chart collide in pointy ways with mine? Hmmm, I could always create a voodoo doll... No, no, no! Bad mojo!
Maybe it's just this: I can't control her behavior or make it stop. Maybe I have to realize this and, instead, focus on seeing these challenges as opportunities for spiritual growth. Ask myself, how do I respond--not as a Christian, but as someone who tries to see all of humanity connected on a deeper level? How can this spiritual path help me create harmony where there is none? How can truth and love win out over half-truths and selfishness? How can I rise above the StepMonster's petty drama?
And yes, I have to give credit to Demi Moore's character in "St. Elmo's Fire" for the "StepMonster" moniker (one of the best movies ever!).
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