We've all seen them, those ridiculous Christmas novelties that appear this time of year. Normal, everyday objects are Santa-fied and bedecked with a holiday motif as a lure to get gullible shoppers to part with their cash. These gifts can be lots of fun--until the joke's on you!Then there are those just plain awful gifts you receive from your loved ones. "Really, you SHOULDN'T have." I'll get to that shortly.
My friend Rebecca told me about how she and all her siblings and their families were home for Christmas one year. Someone had bought their parents a little device that you slip into the toilet paper roll which plays Christmas carols each time it's used. "Jingle" while you tinkle, anyone? She said it was cute for a while--and then the unthinkable happened. Several of them caught a stomach bug, which meant frequent and prolonged trips to the bathroom! It was bad enough to be sick, but then they had to hear "Jingle Bells" over and over again, alerting everyone in the house that, yes, they were back on the toilet again. Nice.
The Worst Christmas Gift I've Ever Received
Sure, I know it's the thought that allegedly counts, but I sometimes think it's better to receive no gift at all than to have to endure the painful attempt to thank someone for those unexpected and random gifts you'll never, ever use.
For example, several years ago my family was opening presents on Christmas Day when one of my sisters handed me a gift bag. Her gifts have never been extravagant, but she always seemed to find something useful or thoughtful. I think she created a new category that year, one called "hideous." So I pull out the colored tissue paper and then reach inside. I wish I had a photo of this thing.
Technically, it was a pen/pencil holder--but elevated to aesthetic heights heretofore unimagined. Someone had taken a perfectly good piece of wood, stripped off the real bark, polished it all up and then drilled several holes in it for pens and pencils. That would've been ok. But no. Then they wrapped it in fake, papery "bark" so that it now sort of resembled the real tree it once was. Then a sky blue ribbon with little cutesy flowers was glued on. Then a bow of the same fabric was also glued on--separately. The manufacturer couldn't even tie a real bow!
As I beheld this wonder, wondering what I was going to do with it and how to stifle my shock and disbelief, my sister said, "I thought you could put it in your office!" Not on your life, sweetie. Like it or not, how you accessorize your desk says a lot about you to your co-workers. It was still early in my publishing career, and I really didn't want the reputation as the resident Holly Hobbie Craft Queen.
So I fumbled my way through the forced "thank you," and that abomination was relegated to the work shed. Ever practical, my partner found a use for the gift after all! I tore off the ribbon and bow and the fake bark, leaving a relatively respectable and perfectly handy Screwdriver Holder! So, thanks sis, but I will forever be suspicious of your gift-buying skills!
What was the worst Christmas gift you ever received?
No comments:
Post a Comment