Costco Has Bad Mojo

Or is it just me? If there's a Costco store near you, do you shop there, and if you do, does it take over your soul and turn you into a raving lunatic?

My partner and I recently purchased a membership, and the store has some great prices--if you need a 50-gallon drum of lotion. Hey--I have dry skin!

But every time I go inside that place, I emerge ready to kill someone, plain and simple. If you've been to Costco, perhaps you understand. If not, let me paint the picture. Hordes of people pushing carts who amble along apparently dazzled into a stupor by the rows of stuff in giant boxes. People not looking where they are going, surrounded by 10-15 of their children who dart back and forth into your path. People who stop in the middle of the aisle for no other reason except perhaps to ask, "What is this place?" Others who flock to the end-cap food demo stations, grabbing for the morsels in the tiny, white paper cups, as if they haven't had a meal all day. Then they stand there, thoughtfully chewing and savoring that little bit of food as if they're some judge on "Iron Chef!"

And all I want is my damn laundry detergent! Get me out of here!

No one says excuse me. No one disciplines their children. No one seems to even see you. Maybe it's the ambiance, or lack of it. Honestly, what can I expect from what is basically a warehouse? People don't go to Costco to splurge or buy their dream gift. It's all about saving as much money as possible. It's all about insecurity, the fear of not having enough, the fear of running out of what you need.

Again, maybe it's me. Either way, Costco is a nexus of bad energy! It's the Hellmouth--run for your lives!