Time Out to Detach

I was so keyed up the last few days over the Prop 8 win out in California, and I realized it was taking its toll. Maybe I had become too attached to what happened next, too attached to my identity as a gay man. And all that is illusion anyway.

Not that it isn't important, but I was out of balance. So today I'm taking a break. Doing some yard work, and trying to meditate on what's right in front of me, like this pond out here in the Grove (pictured).

For the latest on the protests against Prop 8, try these sites:
QueersUnited
ChinoBlanco
WayneBesen

Even taking a break is difficult, however. Last night, I had an unsettling dream, and I can't quite figure out why. It wasn't one of those scary dreams or stress dreams, but I kept waking up with this feeling that I needed to get out of the dream. But when I woke, I only wanted to go back to sleep so I could get back into the dream. Crazy, right? I was in a weird middle place. And I didn't want to get out of bed, either.

So I woke up grumpy and unsettled, and then my partner and I promptly got into an argument before breakfast. Then when we went to eat breakfast, even that was annoying. Good times!

But now I've raked the yard, and he's at the office, so things have calmed down a bit. Just trying to find my center today.