Maybe I should be really pissed off about this, but I'm not. I feel strangely ambivalent. Even though I don't live in California, I was hoping its residents would vote on Tuesday to keep gay marriage, but a majority didn't. And gay marriage rights were also denied in Arizona and Florida. So why am I not waving my gay pride flag in the streets in protest?
Well, I don't need any government or church or anyone to tell me who I can love and share a life with. I've been doing it on my own for the last 14 years, thank you very much. Fine, give the bigoted conservatives a bone this time. I'll continue to "threaten" their marriages without state sanction. For me, nothing has really changed.
But here's why I'm hopeful. With Obama's election, I'm anticipating things to move in a positive direction for the GLBT community. Even though Obama says he opposes gay marriage, he does support civil unions. I think he's sneaking around the conservatives on semantics. Can you tell me the difference between marriage and civil unions?
Second, popular culture continues to embrace our community. More TV shows features gay couples and gay storylines. I have to believe it will make a difference when one of this country's most popular talk show hosts, Ellen DeGeneres, gets on her show and cries about her marriage being taken away from her. More gay people are out at work, in church and in their communities. My niece and nephew have only known me in a committed, yet gay, relationship, whereas most of the hetero marriages around them have ended in divorce (oh right, that's supposed to be MY fault). I'm banking that this has made an impact on them. This trend will continue, despite the fact that "Gray's Anatomy" has dropped its lesbian romance storyline, and gay people will become a more and more accepted part of the culture at large.
Finaly, on Election Night, my partner and I had several friends over to watch the returns. At some point, I realized that everyone there was straight, and 2 couples even brought their toddlers. Scandalous! Then I started thinking over who we typically hang out with--and they're all straight! But that doesn't surprise me. These are folks we work with and go to church with. We have a lot in common, including the desire to settle down into a rather traditional committed relationship. Hmmm, maybe I should warn them that associating with us is going to destroy their love? But seriously, this just proves to me how far the acceptance of gay relationships has come.
So our community has had a few setbacks. As Pink might say: "So what?!" Reminds me of a rallying cry from the early days of the gay rights movement, with a slight twist:
"We're still here! We're still queer! And you'd better get used to it!"
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