Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Power, Chaos and Change

Feelin' pretty impotent at the moment. "Impotent" too loaded a term? Ok, how about powerless.

My sister is a single mom raising 2 kids and struggles to make ends meet. I help her out now and then, but it's never enough.

A friend of mine has a brain tumor--make that several brain tumors. Chemo's not working. Steriods have packed on serious pounds. The docs are now recommending a stronger (ie--more toxic?) treatment regimen. There's little I can do but watch.

Another friend lost her job recently. She's looking and looking, but nothing. This is a woman who inspired me to get back on track with some ambitions and dreams of my own, and now she can't get work. Oh, and her husband lost his job, too! My friend and I talk every couple of days, but what can I do--really?

My father was just in the hospital for a minor thing and he's home now. Dad is 82 and actually in decent health. But I worry about him. He still tries to work and really shouldn't (too many details to go into). He lives about an hour away, so I don't see him as often as I'd like. He also is having trouble in his marriage and is very lonely. What can I do?

Ah, the chaos of life. Theoretically, we're supposed to embrace it and ride the wave, right? I know that when we try to stop change or unravel the chaos is when we lose. And I'm a control freak--so yeah, chaos is not how I roll.

Anxiety, guilt, worry--all illusions, right? When you think about it, who among us really has power? If that's the case, then no one is really "powerless." Power is an illusion.

Yet, how do I help when I can and not let the emotions overtake me?

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