Last Night's Dream: Get Your Bikini Wax at the Hawaiian Cowboy Shaman Convention!

I don't take drugs, really, I don't--but I sometimes have whacked dreams. Maybe I've been thinking more about Huna philosophy?

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a shamanic workshop held at the home of a local practitioner, the same guy from the other weekend in real life. We're standing in the guy's living room, holding hands around his coffee table. We start talking about a "shaman's greeting"--sort of "what's the secret password?"--and then he leads us in a dance. Or tries to. We're all uncoordinated and throwing legs the wrong way. Oddly, our dance reminded me of what you see at Jewish holidays and weddings. Just imagine a bunch of WASPs dancing in a circle led by a Korean facilitator--but to a Jewish klezmer band.

That's just for starters. Our facilitator (wearing a Hawaiian shirt) then tells us he will see us at the hotel for the next part of the shamanic conference. (I should explain that this sorta makes sense. In real life, he and his wife had just returned from Hawaii before our workshop, and he does appear in Hawaiian shirts on his web site.)

As can only happen in dreams, our conference is in Hawaii but actually still in my hometown. I'm thrilled--because I'll be able to call home without incurring roaming charges! Sweet!

So I drive across town/Hawaii to the "Mauna Loa Hotel"--which, of course, may exist somewhere but certainly not here in the land of Red Roof Inns. Now, in my dream, I was very impressed with the name as I drove up to the hotel. "Mauna Loa": how Hawaiian! Makes me think of macadamia nuts--yummy. (Mauna Loa is also the largest freakin' volcano in the world.)

Inside the lobby, however, I can't find the registration desk. There's the usual plants and comfy chairs. It's like one of those big resort hotels or casinos where you could walk for days and never leave the building.

Then I realize that I'm dressed like a cast member from "Gunsmoke." I'm talking Sheriff Matt Dillon, Miss Kitty and Deputy Festus in Dodge City! Now, "Gunsmoke" was one of my favorite shows as a kid, so I'm ok with the outfit but it is getting me some looks. Imagine dirty, dusty cowboy boots, brown leather pants and chaps, a large belt buckle and a gun holster, long-sleeve Western shirt with vest, a jaunty bandanna around my neck and a cowboy hat. Yep, I'm totally rockin' the look.


Then I turn and see another guy dressed the same and realize we're headed to the same conference. Whew--so I'm not the only freak! He's this short guy and looks like an old friend from childhood named Brian--but he really isn't (you know how dreams are). But can someone tell me why we're dressed like cowboys for a shamanic workshop? Where are the hippie clothes and the drums?

So short dude and I go scouting for the registration desk. First, we find a hotel restaurant and ask the hostess for directions. Then we find a hotel bar and ask directions. Damn, how big is this place? Next, we see the "fitness room desk" and a woman says, "You're very close." So we walk to the next desk behind her, thinking we've found our destination, only to see a woman smile and say, "Are you ready for your bikini wax?"

WTF? No thanks, my pubes are fine just as they are.

The bikini wax girl points us over to the next desk, and thank gods, we're here. Finally, the registration desk! Except it's also the hotel gift shop. And it must be Christmas because the walls are covered in Christmas tree decorations you can purchase. I go about registering and paying when my partner walks up (not, it should be noted, dressed as Miss Kitty from "Gunsmoke"). He's admiring the Christmas decorations and starts begging for me to buy him a Santa decoration, which I eventually do.

The 3 of us (me, short dude who I kinda recognize and my partner) strike up a conversation with the registration desk lady, who has bleach-bottle-blonde hair. She asks what we're going to do next--and I say, with a gesture like I'm rounding up cattle on a ranch, "We're gonna get some whiskey!" And off we all go to the hotel bar.

I promise, I really don't do drugs.

Last Night's Dream: Get Your Bikini Wax at the Hawaiian Cowboy Shaman Convention!

I don't take drugs, really, I don't--but I sometimes have whacked dreams. Maybe I've been thinking more about Huna philosophy?

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a shamanic workshop held at the home of a local practitioner, the same guy from the other weekend in real life. We're standing in the guy's living room, holding hands around his coffee table. We start talking about a "shaman's greeting"--sort of "what's the secret password?"--and then he leads us in a dance. Or tries to. We're all uncoordinated and throwing legs the wrong way. Oddly, our dance reminded me of what you see at Jewish holidays and weddings. Just imagine a bunch of WASPs dancing in a circle led by a Korean facilitator--but to a Jewish klezmer band.

That's just for starters. Our facilitator (wearing a Hawaiian shirt) then tells us he will see us at the hotel for the next part of the shamanic conference. (I should explain that this sorta makes sense. In real life, he and his wife had just returned from Hawaii before our workshop, and he does appear in Hawaiian shirts on his web site.)

As can only happen in dreams, our conference is in Hawaii but actually still in my hometown. I'm thrilled--because I'll be able to call home without incurring roaming charges! Sweet!

So I drive across town/Hawaii to the "Mauna Loa Hotel"--which, of course, may exist somewhere but certainly not here in the land of Red Roof Inns. Now, in my dream, I was very impressed with the name as I drove up to the hotel. "Mauna Loa": how Hawaiian! Makes me think of macadamia nuts--yummy. (Mauna Loa is also the largest freakin' volcano in the world.)

Inside the lobby, however, I can't find the registration desk. There's the usual plants and comfy chairs. It's like one of those big resort hotels or casinos where you could walk for days and never leave the building.

Then I realize that I'm dressed like a cast member from "Gunsmoke." I'm talking Sheriff Matt Dillon, Miss Kitty and Deputy Festus in Dodge City! Now, "Gunsmoke" was one of my favorite shows as a kid, so I'm ok with the outfit but it is getting me some looks. Imagine dirty, dusty cowboy boots, brown leather pants and chaps, a large belt buckle and a gun holster, long-sleeve Western shirt with vest, a jaunty bandanna around my neck and a cowboy hat. Yep, I'm totally rockin' the look.


Then I turn and see another guy dressed the same and realize we're headed to the same conference. Whew--so I'm not the only freak! He's this short guy and looks like an old friend from childhood named Brian--but he really isn't (you know how dreams are). But can someone tell me why we're dressed like cowboys for a shamanic workshop? Where are the hippie clothes and the drums?

So short dude and I go scouting for the registration desk. First, we find a hotel restaurant and ask the hostess for directions. Then we find a hotel bar and ask directions. Damn, how big is this place? Next, we see the "fitness room desk" and a woman says, "You're very close." So we walk to the next desk behind her, thinking we've found our destination, only to see a woman smile and say, "Are you ready for your bikini wax?"

WTF? No thanks, my pubes are fine just as they are.

The bikini wax girl points us over to the next desk, and thank gods, we're here. Finally, the registration desk! Except it's also the hotel gift shop. And it must be Christmas because the walls are covered in Christmas tree decorations you can purchase. I go about registering and paying when my partner walks up (not, it should be noted, dressed as Miss Kitty from "Gunsmoke"). He's admiring the Christmas decorations and starts begging for me to buy him a Santa decoration, which I eventually do.

The 3 of us (me, short dude who I kinda recognize and my partner) strike up a conversation with the registration desk lady, who has bleach-bottle-blonde hair. She asks what we're going to do next--and I say, with a gesture like I'm rounding up cattle on a ranch, "We're gonna get some whiskey!" And off we all go to the hotel bar.

I promise, I really don't do drugs.

7 Principles of Shamanism--or Just More Positive Thinking?

During the shamanic workshop the other weekend, the instructor reviewed what he called 7 principles. Sort of the top things a shaman should know or follow. I'll list them here briefly, but if you want to see a few more details, click here. They were developed by Huna practitioner and writer Serge Kahili King.

What? Who? Patience, possums, I'll get to that.

And I hope you enjoy the photos, taken during our workshop activities in the state park.

• The world is what you think it is. In other words we create our own reality, a truth that reveals itself more to me every day. Manners, routines, systems--it's all arbitrary. Even "shamanism."

• There are no limits. We either limit ourselves or we don't through our own imaginations. This is so true for me.
  

• Energy goes where attention flows. Concentration fuels our ability to manifest ideas, goals or whatever. This doesn't always happen as we plan exactly, but it is true.
  

• Now is the moment of power. Attempting to forget the past and stop obsessing over the future has helped me be much more content.
  

• Love is to be happy with someone/something. Rather than a feeling that takes us over, love is more a choice to connect in some way. Very different perspective than what we typically hear.
  

• All power comes from within. Sounds great, right? Everything around us--the sun, wind, color, radio waves, sound--has power. We "create" power when we eat, breathe, drink or take in the sun. Sounds very simple, but this is all we need to do whatever we desire.
  

• Effectiveness is the measure of truth. Not sure I completely understand, but it seems that flexibility is key for a shaman. Problems may have more than one solution. Not that the end justifies the means, but that the focus should be on what works.
  

It sounds like just positive thinking, right? Yet I would say all these resonate with me as true--or, simply, they work!--so that's not so bad.


I mentioned Serge Kahili King developed these, and he's written on Huna or ancient Hawaiian shamanism. Of course, there's controversy (when is there not controversy?)!

Some say Huna is ancient Hawaiian religion, a tradition of aligning oneself with "mana" or life force energy. The origin of the word "huna" is, of course, in question, with some native Hawaiians questioning it while others embrace the word. Still others see Huna as a system of positive thinking, sort of like Dale Carnegie wearing a lei.

Hmmm, always more to learn, no? From what little I've read, this form or approach to shamanism resonates more with me. There doesn't seem to be as strong a focus on achieving power (ego, anyone?) as in some other traditions. As far as what huna means or doesn't mean, it's at least refreshing to get a glimpse beneath the tiki torches and hula dances we have appropriated from the Hawaiians.

Aloha, ya'll.

7 Principles of Shamanism--or Just More Positive Thinking?

During the shamanic workshop the other weekend, the instructor reviewed what he called 7 principles. Sort of the top things a shaman should know or follow. I'll list them here briefly, but if you want to see a few more details, click here. They were developed by Huna practitioner and writer Serge Kahili King.

What? Who? Patience, possums, I'll get to that.

And I hope you enjoy the photos, taken during our workshop activities in the state park.

• The world is what you think it is. In other words we create our own reality, a truth that reveals itself more to me every day. Manners, routines, systems--it's all arbitrary. Even "shamanism."

• There are no limits. We either limit ourselves or we don't through our own imaginations. This is so true for me.
  

• Energy goes where attention flows. Concentration fuels our ability to manifest ideas, goals or whatever. This doesn't always happen as we plan exactly, but it is true.
  

• Now is the moment of power. Attempting to forget the past and stop obsessing over the future has helped me be much more content.
  

• Love is to be happy with someone/something. Rather than a feeling that takes us over, love is more a choice to connect in some way. Very different perspective than what we typically hear.
  

• All power comes from within. Sounds great, right? Everything around us--the sun, wind, color, radio waves, sound--has power. We "create" power when we eat, breathe, drink or take in the sun. Sounds very simple, but this is all we need to do whatever we desire.
  

• Effectiveness is the measure of truth. Not sure I completely understand, but it seems that flexibility is key for a shaman. Problems may have more than one solution. Not that the end justifies the means, but that the focus should be on what works.
  

It sounds like just positive thinking, right? Yet I would say all these resonate with me as true--or, simply, they work!--so that's not so bad.


I mentioned Serge Kahili King developed these, and he's written on Huna or ancient Hawaiian shamanism. Of course, there's controversy (when is there not controversy?)!

Some say Huna is ancient Hawaiian religion, a tradition of aligning oneself with "mana" or life force energy. The origin of the word "huna" is, of course, in question, with some native Hawaiians questioning it while others embrace the word. Still others see Huna as a system of positive thinking, sort of like Dale Carnegie wearing a lei.

Hmmm, always more to learn, no? From what little I've read, this form or approach to shamanism resonates more with me. There doesn't seem to be as strong a focus on achieving power (ego, anyone?) as in some other traditions. As far as what huna means or doesn't mean, it's at least refreshing to get a glimpse beneath the tiki torches and hula dances we have appropriated from the Hawaiians.

Aloha, ya'll.