The Surprise Reason Why I'm Glad the New Orleans Saints Won the Super Bowl

It isn't because I like football--hell, I don't even know what they're doing out there on that field! It's kinda because Hurricane Katrina (and the government) pummeled the city 5 years ago--but that isn't it entirely. And it might be partly because Coach Sean Payton is kinda sexy, as far as NFL coaches go (woof!)--but that still isn't it. No, the reason I'm glad is because I can finally hold my head high after buying a New Orleans Saints book bag in 3rd grade and suffering for it!

It was quite tragic, as has been the Saints' overall NFL record. So, back in 3rd grade, all my classmates were excited because we could order book bags showing any of the NFL teams. We could choose whichever team we liked, and the bag would show the team's colors. Unfortunately, I didn't know a damn thing about football. My parents weren't sports fans nor were my brothers--I don't think I'd even seen a game on TV yet. I certainly didn't play myself.

Black and Gold Was SO "In" that Season
So imagine my confusion as I scanned the list of NFL teams, trying to decide which one I should order. I knew what "dolphins" were and "colts" and "cowboys," but what exactly was a "steeler?" And I was totally caving to peer pressure. I had no idea who to choose, but I figured that if everyone else was so excited about ordering these book bags, well, I'd have to order one to be cool, if nothing else. Oh, so sad--it was like an episode of "Ugly Betty" (good intentions but ridicule and tragedy around the corner!).

To make my decision, I did what any budding gay boy would do--I picked the team that had the prettiest colors! (And some nitwits say being gay isn't inborn!) I thought the Saints' black and gold were quite elegant as was the fleur-de-lis (oooh, French--I felt so European!). So I checked that box, had my mom write a check and waited in anticipation with my classmates for the book bags to arrive.

Let the Mocking Begin
Then the day came when the bags arrived and were passed out to us. I vaguely remember thinking my choice would be recognized as quite the tasteful fashion statement. Naturally, everyone had to see which team's book bag you had ordered--and then it began. "You like the SAINTS?!" "The Saints suck!" "Why did you order a Saints bag?" *snort-snicker-ha, ha!*

That's right--I had picked the ONE team that no one else had ordered, that no one else respected. In some way, it was kind of sweet: the misfit NFL book bag for the misfit boy! But I didn't back down so easily. I'll have you know I carried that bag proudly (that black-and-gold fleur-de-lis WAS elegant, you backwoods, hillbilly Philistines!) When I rode the bus and the kids pointed, snickered and laughed at me and my Saints bag, I just ignored them (fortunately, one of the older boys did rescue me once from the taunting--thank you, Scott!).

A Win for that 3rd-Grade Gay Boy!
So last night as the Saints came back from their 10-point deficit to win the Super Bowl in their first-ever appearance, I was there with them--a little 3rd-grader carrying his Saints bag and running down the field toward the end zone! As they lifted the Super Bowl trophy in victory, I imagined myself on that old school bus gripping that book bag in all it's fleur-de-lis elegance and thrusting it into the air in vindication! The Saints had won, and in some small way, so had I! So stick that in your eye.

And what happened to my book bag? Fittingly, perhaps, the end was tragic. Later that school year, I was riding the bus home one day when I became nauseous--and promptly blew chunks all over my beautiful black-and-gold Saints bag! Mom had to throw it away after that. But I've never forgotten it--and I never will!